I had this same issue. I wanted people to come to my wedding and spent 2 years trying to make my family and friends happy. At the end of day its your happiness and finances that are impacted( if you families are not assisting financially). When I was tired of asking for opinions and worrying about my family, I put down my deposit for NJ. I did not have and/or want to pay for a wedding of 200+ people. Once you send out the invitation, your family and friends will decide if they are attending or not. Your wedding is an opportunity for people to see to your wedding, but to use it as a vacation. I hope this helps, it surely helped me and I am 11 days from having the wedding of my dreams w/25 guests attending.