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Here's my two cents on tipping — I am a very generous tipper, but as I understand it tipping is for people who provide you a service but who you don't pay directly. For example: the waiter at a restaurant serves you, but you pay the restaurant not him, so you give him an extra tip. Same with hairdressers at a hair salon or massage therapists at a spa. HOWEVER, if someone is an independent professional and sets his or her own rates, I see no need to tip that person. For example, the lady I go to for waxing works for herself and she always waves off my tips because they're just part of her rate. So I don't plan on tipping my photographer, musicians, or wedding coordinator, because they are all independent professionals who set their own rates (my wedding coordinator is also the owner of my venue). There is a mandatory 15% tip on food and beverage at my venue which goes to the waitstaff; I may bump that up to 20%.

Some eye-opening journalism: http://www.slate.com/articles/video/slate_v/2012/04/why_are_wedding_dresses_so_expensive_.html

Bianca, I am also from NYC and also getting married in Mexico on June 8th of next year! Hehe, what a coincidence. Congratulations to you.

Hi Patty, Have you talked to these resorts? My suggestion would be to write up an email specifying exactly what you want (number of guests, activities, the kind of ceremony you want, etc.) and then email it to all the wedding coordinators at these various resorts. Ask them what it'll cost to throw the wedding you want to have. Don't forget to ask if there are any extra fees, such as vendor fees for DJs or photographers who are not on their preferred vendor list, and don't forget about taxes and tips! This is what I did, and it very quickly gave me an idea of what's available and how much it costs. Good luck!

Hi Rosie, You sound like me. I was also looking for something more laid-back, not all-inclusive. Check out the hotels in Tulum, Mexico — I'm having my wedding at the Ana y Jose Beach Club, but I also looked into Playa Azul, La Zebra, and Las Ranitas. I've also been to Costa Rica twice, and it's a stunning place! I recommend looking into Rancho Margot in the Arenal area, or there's also some gorgeous cliffside hotels in Manuel Antonio (but those don't come cheap). I have friends who got married on the beach in Manuel Antonio, truly a stunning choice. The other thing to keep in mind is that places a little bit off the beaten path are, well, off the beaten path. In the Riviera Maya, you and your guests will have to drive 1.5 hours from Cancun to get to Tulum, and in Costa Rica it's 3 hours from San Jose to Manuel Antonio. But for me, the privacy and natural beauty of these places is worth it.

Breathe! Here's how I got started, in 3 simple steps: 1) Decide roughly how many people you want to invite. 5? 50? 200? It doesn't have to be an exact count, just a ballpark idea of how big you want your wedding to be. 2) Decide roughly when you want to get married This winter? Next summer? Again, you don't need an exact date, just a rough idea. 3) Email some hotels for details I looked up a list of about 10 hotels that I thought looked nice (this site is a great resource!) and I emailed each the following list of questions. You will get an idea of costs and options very quickly this way. Can you host X people for a wedding in [your time frame]? What is the price range for staying at your hotel in [time frame]? What's included, and are there extra resort fees, taxes, etc.? How many weddings do you hold per day? What is the cost for holding a ceremony? What ceremony options are available? What is the cost for a reception for X people? What are the options for reception location, food, open bar? What are our options for DJs, photographers, florists, etc.? Do you have preferred vendors, and is there a fee for using a vendor who's not on your list? How do we get to your hotel from the nearest airport? Do you offer airport transfers and if so, what's the cost? Is there anything else we need to know? Good luck!

Thanks everyone! My mother and my friends agree... looks like #2 is a winner.

For what it's worth, I am sending out Save the Dates over 1 year in advance along with a link to our website where people can RSVP online. I am also planning to send out invitations 3 months in advance, with a RSVP deadline of 2 months in advance. That way, people can book and RSVP as early as one year in advance if they would like, then at 3 months they get the formal invitation which serves as a reminder, and at 2 months if they haven't RSVP'ed yet I'm calling to bug them.

Ok ladies, here are pictures of me in the dresses! #1. Nicole Miller: this dress fits very poorly because the sample size is way too big on me, but the material and construction looks gorgeous in person and I think it would look much, much better if it actually was the right size. #2. Camille la Vie Grecian style. This one is my other favorite right now. #3. Camille la Vie v-neck trumpet style. I tried on lots of other dresses as well, but these were definitely the best. Thoughts? And, oh yeah, thanks for taking the time to help a complete stranger pick out dresses!

Congratulations on putting together a fantastic wedding and of course, on getting married! Can you share the name of the etsy seller who made your bridesmaids necklaces? They're really beautiful.

Your wedding is stunning, stunning, stunning! And I love how you did everything on a budget — bowls from Ikea and flowers from the dollar store for centerpieces, etc. — but you made it all look so well-put together and magazine-worthy. Most importantly, you and your now-husband look incredibly happy. Congratulations.

Word. I went on one dress-shopping expedition last weekend, and am going again this weekend. I'll post pictures of me in all the dresses soon! But in the meantime, here are some deeply irreverent and hilarious pictures from this blog I just stumbled upon: anotherdamnwedding.wordpress.com.

I have one of these dresses and I love it! Instead of looking for a store where you can try it on, why don't you order one online from a store with a generous return policy? I think Amazon.com sells some. That way you can try it on in the comfort of your own home and return it if you don't like it.

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but my friend sent me this link today and I wanted to share: http://www.groupon.com/occasions Lots of deals on wedding-related stuff from Groupon. Happy shopping!

We are paying for the wedding ourselves too! Although my mother has very sweetly offered to pay for my dress — I'm still deciding whether or not I'll take her up on that. And just to give you some perspective about the tradition of the bride's family paying: in a lot of Asian cultures (we're Chinese) it's actually traditional for the groom's family to pay for the entire wedding. So I think a lot of wedding traditions are pretty arbitrary. Do whatever makes you, your fiancé, and your families happy.

Matt, those look gorgeous! I especially love the one with all the little dangly stones. I'm thinking about simply tying ribbons on the chairs down the center aisle. Like the picture below, except with red ribbons and the ribbons would go all the way to the ground. Easy and simple!

Just read the earlier posts in this thread... seems like a lot of people are doing the legal wedding exactly one year before the symbolic wedding! Great minds think alike.

We have more than a year to go until our wedding date (June 8th 2013) so we are planning to go to City Hall this year on June 8th to get legally hitched. Technically, our wedding day will be our first anniversary, but no one will know that except us.

I would say you just call them. 50 households is not so many that you can't knock out that many phone calls in a day, and this is too sensitive to explain over email or in a letter. Call them and say, "It seems like the plans for a DR wedding aren't working well for a lot of guests, so we decided to take the pressure off of everyone and just elope!" People will probably be a combination of relieved and happy for you. If you want to have a party back home after you get back, this would also be a good time to tell them that you're thinking of planning something like that. Then just go enjoy yourselves. Best wishes!

Does anyone watch the TV show "Community"? I just saw the latest episode on Hulu — "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts" and I was cracking up because what Britta goes through is EXACTLY how I'm feeling. Britta is a very counterculture character who practices vegeterianism, goes to political rallies, and in general rails against the system (all things I've done!). In the beginning of the episode, she describes a wedding as "a little girl's tea party" where "they're not drinking tea, they're drinking antiquated gender roles!" Pretty much how I would've put it 5-10 years ago. But then her friend gets married, and she finds herself helping to plan the wedding. Much to everyone's astonishment, Britta turns out to have a real knack for floral arrangements and decorating, and she pulls together a gorgeous wedding. She then panics and becomes outraged with herself for turning into a stereotype, ranting "I'm Betty Crocker. I'm Martha Stewart. I'm one of the Steppenwolf wives!" So is it just me, or is anyone else totally shocked to find themselves hooked on browsing wedding dresses and thinking about centerpieces? I am seriously loving this stuff — fairy lights! tulle! it's all so pretty! — but part of me is like, who is this girly girl that I've become? Am I ever going to get the old me back? Anyways, just wanted to share. Now I'm off to plan a hiking trip or something.

We decided to do charity registries — we picked three well-regarded charities that all spend at least 80% of revenue on programs. One focuses on education, one on health, and one on fighting poverty in the third world. We figure our guests will probably be happy to support at least one of those causes! One of our charities is Heifer International, which lets you create a registry of animals like sheep, llamas, chickens, etc. Your guests pick out an animal, which gets sent to a rural family in Africa, Asia, or Latin America that can use the animal for wool or milk or eggs. Aside from it being a great charity, we also thought it was really cute to let people get us a goat or a llama for our wedding. I also just discovered this site, and think it's pretty cool even though I'm not using it: www.weddingfutures.com. You can register for things like a down payment on a house, or starting a college fund for your future kids, or even an investment portfolio. The site's kind of ugly, but it's a really good idea.

Thanks for all the input, ladies! I really appreciate it. I have appointments set up over the next few weeks to go try these dresses on in person, so I'll try to sneak in some pictures of me in the dresses if I can. Right now I like #1 and #2 the best. I'm thinking that #3 is very pretty, but would look better on a curvier / taller figure?

Some relevant information: we are having our ceremony on the beach, so it'll be hot and possibly windy and I'll be barefoot. I am on the tall side of petite (5'4") and slim, with a small B chest. Which of these dresses do you think would look best? Thanks for the help! 1. Nicole Miller HG0020: silk dress with a trumpet silhouette, low back with corset lacing 2. Camille La Vie 41770/6100W: chiffon dress with a Grecian style beaded collar, A-line silhouette, and chapel train 3. Camille La Vie 41770/8296W: lace and chiffon dress with v-neck, trumpet silhouette and chapel train 4. Watters Zora: lace dress with v-neck, built-in satin sash, A-line silhouette, and puddle train

That sounds very unreasonable. I just booked for June 2013, although my situation is a little different from yours, since I'm holding my wedding at a beach club and not at a resort. We put down a deposit towards our food and beverage costs to hold the venue for that date, and now we're about to send out our save the dates. It does sound very risky to send out save the dates without something confirmed, and I wouldn't do that. I would try to negotiate with your resort. Tell them that you don't want to make your guests put down a deposit so soon, and ask them what options you have. Maybe you can put down a small deposit to hold your date, and then the resort can refund that to you as your guests start booking? Or maybe they can agree to give your guests until Dec 2012 to book, or something like that.

I'm trying to keep it at about $15,000 for the wedding, up to $20,000 maximum including travel costs. We're going to have about 60 people in the Mexican Riviera Maya. Here's the estimated wedding budget so far (we'll see how well we stick to this!): Food + open bar: ~$100 per person * 60 people = $6000 11% tax + 15% tip on food and alcohol = $1500 DJ for 3 hours at $300 per hour = $900 Photography = $3000 Wedding coordinator = $2000 Audio rental + dance floor rental = $400 Decorations = $500 Dress = $500 Flights + 1 week accommodation for the two of us = $2500 TOTAL SO FAR: $17,300 My plan is to be really cheap about the things that are not important to me so I can spend lavishly on the things that are. So I'm using electronic invitations, having a family friend officiate for us, skipping the flowers and decorating with lanterns instead, not having a wedding cake (at all the weddings I've been to, people barely touch the cake), not doing OOT bags. All that frees up money for awesome food, music, and photography.