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Sounds to me like you're doing a great job! Your signature says you have 26 guests booked, and Tensing Pen is so stunning — it was one of my top choices too. You're going to have an amazing wedding! I would still send out invites, because there's detailed information that your guests still need. What time will the wedding start? Is there a dress code? Are there other activities like a rehearsal dinner, day-after brunch, etc.? If your wedding is next May, I'd send out an invitation with these details around next March or April. Until then RELAX you are doing everything right.

My guests are flying in from many different cities, and they're free to stay at whatever hotel they like since my wedding is at a beach club, so costs will vary from person to person. But here's an estimate: round-trip airfare from NYC to Cancun is around $500 per person hotel rooms in Tulum are $100 - $300 / night for two people let's assume each guest stays for 5 nights and spends $50 - $100 / day on food and activities So if the guests want to do it on a budget, they can come for less than $1000 per person; if they want to splurge, could be $1800+.

Thank you so much! The dress is by Camille la Vie / Group USA, here's the link: http://www.camillelavie.com/dress/Wedding-Dresses_Grecian-Wedding-Dress-with-Beaded-Cut-Out-Collar_41770-6100W.cfm. Hope it works out for you.

I'm struggling with this too! Here is my tentative timeline. What do you think? I've been to a couple of weddings where the cocktails were before the ceremony, and that worked really well. However, I'd also like to be at the cocktail hour instead of off taking pictures elsewhere, but I would still like to make some sort of "entrance"... any ideas?! 1 - 4pm: getting ready 4 - 5pm: photographer takes formal portraits with us, immediate family, and bridal party 5 - 6pm: guests arrive, cocktail hour. 6 - 6:30pm: ceremony 6:30 - 8pm: dinner 8 - 8:15pm: breaking the piñata! I'm very excited about having a piñata. 8:15 - 9pm: salsa lesson for everyone to get them on the dance floor, and dancing with live salsa band 9 - 11pm: more dancing with a DJ or iPod

Melissa, can I ask what your timeline for the reception was? I am planning on having a piñata as well, and am wondering where to fit that in. Did you do it at the end of the night, right after dinner, or somewhere in between?

Thanks for the compliments, everyone! I'm excited.

Yes! It's so nice and considerate of you to not want to impose on your family. I'm sure you'll find a great, budget-friendly way to include and honor them.

Why does being a part of your bridal party have to cost more money? Let your bridesmaids / groomsmen wear clothes they already own, don't make them pay for professional hair and makeup, tell them they don't have to throw you a bridal shower or anything. You want these people to stand up with you while you take your vows because they are important to you, and they want to be there for you because they love you and support you. That's an incredibly sweet, powerful thing. Everything else is optional.

I just ordered my dress yesterday! And it happened to be on sale... whoo hoo! Here it is on the model: And on me at the store when I tried it on (obviously the bottom needs to be hemmed):

Cherany, that is so right! I also wanted to share this: http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/01/your-wedding-is-not-show/ "Because this is what no one tells you: no matter what you provide for your guests to do (we provided dancing) many, many, many of them will want nothing more than to sit back, to talk, to laugh, to reminisce."

You can do exactly what you just wrote here — celebrate your marriage with your extended family, but not in a big, huge, expensive way. Have 3 simple potluck dinners with the 3 families, and ask everyone to bring their favorite dish instead of a wedding present. Or ask your mom, dad, and future in-laws to host backyard picnics for you, and serve sandwich platters from Costco. It can be really simple and inexpensive, and it can be on a weeknight if you don't have weekends off. The people who love you just want to spend time with you; you don't have to worry about impressing them with a fancy AHR!

I would say that you are under no obligation to invite them, but it might not be a bad idea to do so. It does seem like your aunt is interested in becoming closer to you and your family, and one of the great things about weddings is that they're also defacto family reunions. So, who knows? Maybe she's been waiting for an opportunity to reconnect, and this is the opportunity. Is 75 guests the limit for you (financially, emotionally, venue limitations, whatever)? If so, you can leave them off the list without feeling bad about it, but if not, then invite them and take it as an opportunity to get closer to your aunts.

Please include costs of airfare, hotel, meals, and other travel costs for you, your fiancé, and anyone else that you are paying for. It seems there was a lot of confusion over at the "How much do you think your destination wedding will cost?" thread about what costs to include or not include, and someone suggested breaking down costs by categories, which I think is a great idea. Site administrators, I hope I'm not stepping on any toes! Don't mean to, just seemed like people were confused.

Include rehearsal dinner, welcome cocktails, day-after brunch, any excursions or activities you are paying for, etc. It seems there was a lot of confusion over at the "How much do you think your destination wedding will cost?" thread about what costs to include or not include, and someone suggested breaking down costs by categories, which I think is a great idea. Site administrators, I hope I'm not stepping on any toes! Don't mean to, just seemed like people were confused.

Please include the cost of your wedding dress and your fiancé's suit (or dresses and suits if you're a same-sex couple!), any accessories, and bridal party dresses and suits only if you're paying for them. It seems there was a lot of confusion over at the "How much do you think your destination wedding will cost?" thread about what costs to include or not include, and someone suggested breaking down costs by categories, which I think is a great idea. Site administrators, I hope I'm not stepping on any toes! Don't mean to, just seemed like people were confused.

Hi everyone, For this question, please add up all your wedding costs and divide by the number of guests. That's more accurate than comparing the costs for 50-person weddings to 10-person weddings. Include location fees, wedding coordinator, food, alcohol, florist and other decorations, DJ, photographer, tips for all your vendors, and any other expenses related to the wedding day itself EXCEPT attire. It seems there was a lot of confusion over at the "How much do you think your destination wedding will cost?" thread about what costs to include or not include, and someone suggested breaking down costs by categories, which I think is a great idea. Site administrators, I hope I'm not stepping on any toes! Don't mean to, just seemed like people were confused.

Sometimes I feel like the only person on this board choosing not to do OOT bags. Most of my guests are very seasoned travelers, and I think they would just laugh if I gave them a bag with basic necessities like sunscreen and tylenol. ( I can totally see the value of it if your guests don't travel often, though!) Since we're not doing my wedding at an all-inclusive resort, we are planning to put together a map of the area for my guests with information like restaurants, activities, and driving directions from the airport. We'll also include a nice welcome letter to say thanks for coming. As my fiancé says, "These are grown-ass people". While I agree that it's important to show appreciation to your guests for traveling all the way to your DW, I don't think that appreciation necessarily has to come in the form of a OOT bag or even any physical gift. Just wanted to share my two cents from a different point of view.

By "please factor in guest costs" do you mean what we pay for our guests, or what our guests are paying to attend the wedding? Because if it's the latter, then the total cost is much higher. Please specify. Thanks!

I'm not changing my last name. In our culture (Chinese but I think other Asian cultures do this too) it's just not a tradition for women to change their last names when they get married. And even going by the American tradition, I don't think I'd change my name. I'm pretty independent.

So many reasons! 1) My fiancé has always wanted a destination wedding 2) I've always wanted a small wedding, and at home we would've had 300+ guests 3) Much more affordable, see reason #2 4) We get to spend a week on vacation with a few close friends and family, as opposed to mere hours saying hello to hundreds of distant relatives 5) Getting married on a beach in Mexico will be gorgeous!

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the kind words.

We are paying for our entire destination wedding ourselves, and then my parents and his parents are jointly throwing the at-home-reception. They are paying for the entire AHR and organizing it as well. I think the guests at the DW will skew towards our friends and a few close family members, whereas the AHR will be mostly our parents' friends and more distant family. It works out well for us because our friends all travel a lot and are and excited about a destination wedding, but I think some of the older generation prefer to stay at home!

I am in a similar position to you; most of our friends got married a few years ago and now have small kids. I know this is not what you want to hear, but honestly, if I was your friend and you told me not to bring my kids to a family-friendly resort AND I showed up and saw kids (your nieces and nephews) at the wedding, I'd be pretty annoyed. As you said, it'd be different if you were doing it at an adults-only, but I don't think people will understand why you chose a family-friendly resort if you don't want them to bring their families. You don't have to make the kids part of your wedding celebration. Is there any way you can negotiate with your resort to set up a separate room nearby for the kids? Serve them sandwiches at $5 a head; kids don't need or want gourmet food. Ask the parents to bring some DVDs to keep the kids entertained. It can be really cheap to feed and entertain kids!

I wouldn't really call this my theme, but I am using a papel picado design for my save the dates, invitations, wedding website. I may even have some actual papel picado to decorate at the wedding itself!

P.S. Just for the record, I'm booking all of my vendors directly. If you're getting a wedding package at a resort and all of these people and their services are included in that package, then I would say yes tip because you are not paying any of them directly. What do other people think about my tipping philosophy — does it make sense?