Krystal084

Wow, I can honestly say I relate to everything you've said. It was the exact same for me. All during her wedding, she would call to "catch up" and complain about things and once my wedidng came around, I had to beg her to answer her phone so I could get what dates would work for her for what events. As it turns out, she RSVPed no to the wedding on account of having a 3 month old (understandable), but then my bridal shower weekend came and went and not a word from her only for me to sign onto Facebook that Sunday and see pictures of her at the beach. I tried so hard to see the best in her over the past few years, and when I look back now, all she ever gave me was excuse after excuse. That quote sums it all up perfectly: When people show you who they are, believe them. I understand that she may be busy planning her wedding but that is no excuse for ignoring you when you send her something of importance, and in such a sweet way with the gift and all. Some people are just way too involved with themselves, and sad to say, those ones are going to end up the lonely ones in life because as selfless as we all are, everyone eventually gets tired of being used.

Because when you've spent so many years trying to be there for someone, and doing everything for them for their wedding, and hope to see the best in someone, it stands to reason that you'd deserve the same treatment on SOME level- which I knew she wouldnt be there 100 %, but never expected her to say yes and then do absolutely nothing.

bill levkoff 370 =)

I really feel for you! It honestly does sound like you are way more invested in the friendship than she is. My wedding is less than a month and a half away and my "unresponsive bridesmaid" has not only slyly backed out of the wedding using excuse after excuse, but she has been 110% uninterested and uninvolved in my shower and bachelorette party. Every time I have asked her point blank, she just gives excuse after excuse. My shower is this weekend and she never RSVPed and texted me the longest excuse ever after I asked her what was going on- she never even gave me a yes or no answer, so I've cut my losses. I don't need to wear myself down by trying to prove myself to someone who couldnt care less. I would take a step back and look at it from a broader perspective. I bet you she treats other people this way as well. I believe in karma and know these people will regret acting this way to others, but by then it will be too late. It might also be easier for me since she lives in another state. If I were you, I would give her an opportunity so she can't say you didnt ask her, but just assume that she will have nothing to do with it. Attend her wedding of course, but I wouldnt go out of my way for her anymore. It's just hurting you more in the end. It is what it is! Also with your destination wedding, I said the SAME EXACT thing about giving people almost 2 years notice to save. It doesn't matter in the end, because some people are just not good with money management. People will go who you never expected, and the people who you thought were definites will back out. Just a week ago, my two friends who do hair and make-up backed out. Have a backup plan for everything and expect nothing from anyone! I know that sounds bitter, but it's actually helped me from feeling so hurt when I get next to nothing from all these friends who I've gone out of my way for in the past...

Katie, I did not know it was possible to have a private reception at the blue moon bar! Did they charge you anything? Did you have open bar?

I absolutely would never expect anyone to travel to Jamaica with a baby unless THEY were all about it. And I am beginning to come around to the fact that some women would welcome a break while her family took care of the baby, and some women would find that horrific to be away from such a young child- it all comes down to preference. So Denielle, you are absolutely right when you say these are two seperate issues. In the time since I wrote this first post, I have become appalled at just how uninvolved this girl has been in anything having to do with my wedding after I was a proper bridesmaid and friend to her for so many years. I've been able to deal with the hurt and disappointment by reasoning that it's a sunk cost and a lesson learned never to put myself in a position where I can be used by someone again. HER loss, moving on!

Katryne, can you let us know what they say, because I was just looking at that site as well and was disappointed to see that there was no light gray option!

Mady, I did not write my guests names on the RSVP cards in case one person can go and maybe the other cant, so Id leave it to them to write that info in.

Jessica, I think 5 months may be a little too early to have them RSVP by, because you will probably get a LOT of people who will say they can go, but then alot can change in 5 months and you may end up having a lot of last minute drop outs.. I am doing my RSVP deadline 15 days after the entire balance is due to the travel agent (1.5 months before the wedding)- that way everyone will have a pretty good idea that either they ARE or aren't going to be attending.

Thanks Holly, Sfox, Kassi, & Julz for the advice! I didn't realize there was a semi-private option- which makes me happy again

Thats so terrible! If anything I feel like they would prefer it to be a smaller crowd so they have less to clean up! Anyway, what are you planning on doing? Are you just going to rent the disco?

I just found out that I cannot rent Calabash for a private reception unless I have 70 guests, which is not happening. This is upsetting because I was looking forward to a private, intimate dinner with family and friends and then a space to do speeches and dancing. I was also planning on renting DJ and having open bar. Nicole suggested that I rent the disco, which under 2012 rates is $450 and includes 2 hours of DJ and open bar. What I dont understand is if I am offering to pay $800 to rent Calabash and then another $1000 for DJ and open bar, what difference does it make if there are 70 or 30 people? They are still getting their money.. Anyone else have any advice? Thanks

Hi girls! Quick question. I just found out from Nicole that I cannot rent Calabash for a private reception unless I have 70+ guests. I am expecting 40 at most. She suggested renting the disco after having my wedding dinner at Calabash. I wanted a space to enjoy dinner and then have speeches and the mother/son, father/daughter dance. I was also looking forward to a private, intimate dinner with my friends and family and now to find out that this is not possible really upsets me. I was planning on paying the $800 to rent the space, and an additional $1,000 or so for DJ and open bar. Under 2012 rates, the disco is only $450 and that includes 2 hours of open bar and DJ... I can't understand what difference it makes if there are 40 or 70 guests. Either way, I would be paying almost $1500 more to rent Calabash than the disco.. Anyone else have this happen to them??

Your pictures are beautiful! I LOVE the colors!!! This is making me so excited to have my wedding there in a few months

Especially since you have 2 bridesmaids that cannot throw a shower because of their circumstances, I think it's great that your mother wants to throw it for you! Every bride deserves a shower, gifts or no gifts =)