JessiTaylor

its incredibly hard not to lose it! cant believe how opinionated some people are. the worst thing is i have to tread very carefully...to an extent,i cant emphasise how much my fiance wants it too, otherwise it will be the big hot local gossip (you know how very small towns are) simply because his father is a politician...i can imagine it now "ooh the presidents (mayor's) son thinks hes too good to get married here/presidents son hates this town" etc. At the moment theyre assuming its his greatest desire to marry there,so its me getting all the hassle, in a kind of "pushy foreigner insists on extravagant location wedding" way. And men don't talk about weddings, so nobody actually tells him anything...its "women's talk" so im lucky enough to receive everyones 5 cents so i get a fixed smile, try to change the subject and as early as possible walk away. i should have insisted on a london wedding that absolutely nobody here could attend!

a "bourgeouise beach wedding"?! i dont think id react very well to that comment! thats just...snarky! im almost slightly less frustrated by people who comment who are actually invited, its random comments from non-invited people that irritate me the most. keep your opinions to yourself!! poeple DO suck!! ive also had some people who comment that they will go...but they want me to know just how big an effort/sacrifice it is. and i do appreciate people coming of course(!)..but eternal gratitude isnt going to happen. ive told people not to put themselves out if they cant afford it but its like: "well....i will go...its difficult, but i want to be there for you...of course i will have to sell my soul and first born child to do it...because it is so very difficult" *expectant look - praise me for being so selfless* type thing

oh good it worked. so as you can see, they are white flowers that were painted pink and yellow. they opened a little bit in the heat which is why you can see the white line (thats what i think anyway). the ones in the giant champagne glass were fine (they were by an air conditioning unit type thing). the ones in the reception hall and the warmth were the ones that unravelled/opened or however you call it they still looked nice though

i went to a wedding 2 weeks ago and they had flowers that were spray painted - (they were either lilies or alcatraz) and they did actually look very nice, even though in this case they seemed to have a little white line on (maybe they unravelled a little bit after painting) the whole concept of painting flowers is completely new to me!! id never heard of it before, and when a florist mentioned it to me i was a little bit dubious but the ones i saw looked fine! my only concern is to be 100% certain the dye cant smudge off, even if it rains. i wouldnt want them to mark my wedding dress. im considering doing it myself though - as i love blue flowers and not many are available, perhaps i could have some white ones tinted blue! mmmm normally when i add photos i can see them rather than a text link? if this doesnt work i can send them to you

i think hes incredibly expensive...like 5000 dollars. another bride on here checked his prices for her wedding next year and i think thats what she said

that sounds like a good price! i dont think i can imagine bringing in my own vases (unless i recruit a whole bunch of guests to do it but a bit tricky logistically) ive seen a lot of people at local weddings ive been to taking centrepieces but fingers crossed for a destination wedding and a waterfilled centrepiece no one would try that...i think! i dont want to be chasing guests around and trying to get them to stop taking the rented vases haha

well at least its an exercise in communication! we've been pretty much on the same page for everything else so i guess we were bound to disagree on something. so far, we've got to him saying "fine, do what you want" but in a way that shows hes in complete disagreement and not happy about it. which makes me want to say he can use his friend a compromise could work.. maybe if he shoots the civil wedding but not the catholic ceremony/reception. i shall put on my thinking cap!

we went for a baptism for the son of a friend in my fiances hometown...and got a whole new spin on the hometown question. i was used to my friends back in england asking repeatedly why i wasnt going to get married in london, but this time it was a bunch of people that know my fiance and are super proud of their little town so i mentioned the date/location on my wedding, and received 30 minute speech (which was only the beginning!!!) from a friends aunt on "why you should get married here in your fiances hometown". and then this woman repeatedly asked "so where are you getting married then, here or there?"....and i had to keep saying that my plans were set and no, i wasnt going to change my plans despite what she thought. and she kept saying that people like her wouldnt be able to attend if it was in cancun....i didnt think it was very polite to say she wasnt on the guest list so i didnt know why she cared so much, but i was getting increasingly stressed as every comment i made was just completely rejected. its like what i thought didnt matter at all, despite it being my wedding! there were other comments too "i heard youre engaged!! youll be getting married here, right?" and they seemed completely shocked when i said no. after seriously well over an hour of this, i stood up and made an impromptu speech in pretty terrible spanish to the entire table about why having a massive wedding in his hometown wasnt what i wanted and that if people couldnt attend...oh well, as i wanted a small wedding anyway! i also pointed out our families (and of course my fiance) were in agreement that a small wedding on the beach was a good idea!! in his town if you have an event you invite everyone and their dog (especially given fiances father is a well known local politician with lots of friends and contacts he would feel olbiged to invite) and its not what i want!! it kind of ruined my night though. surely theres a point when someone has expressed what they want, that its just simply rude to keep pushing your opinion on them?!

Im glad to find this thread! i needed confirmation whats a reasonable response time =) the bridezilla in me wants a response instantly...the reasonable part of me knows thats not realistic at all! my co-ordinator at xcaret is fantastic...same day reply always. bit trickier contacting vendors though (xcaret doesnt handle cake, flowers, transport etc etc). ive decided my new reasonable length of time is 7-10days. after that i mgiht be tempted to send another email or make a phone call its hard when youre desperate to get things arranged, and organised! then i remember that whilst my wedding is the centre of my universe, for vendors its just one in a very very long line, and for every email i send there are probably 50 from other people. it gets it into perspective

i read a fantastic story on the etiquette hell archives on how a guest (maybe a bridesmaid) said she had a surprise for the bride...and turned up in a wedding dress and thought it would be ok to do a quick vow renewal on their her wedding day!!! so no matter how bad it gets...it could always be worse

i love the vases with the floating candles and petals (or iris in the other photo). thats just what im thinking of going for! the height is improtant as my fiance really doesnt like tall centrepieces so these could be perfect!! im not sure whether i would try to DIY them or just let a florist handle them TheWolferts - are you bringing in your own vases etc? and youre going for 3 per table...or thats just a picture to see the idea? thanks!

Thanks anyway!! im pinning lots of photos of bouquets frmo this forum on pinterest and when i finally have a florist/wedding planner hopefully they will tell me which of them are available in march!

Im not having a destination wedding to save money - its in cancun since im already in mexico, city i live in is dangerous (just would prefer for my family not to be here) and i like beaches. i did end up choosing the most expensive venue on my list - xcaret - but my parents, bless their hearts are paying for it. an incredible gesture that i didnt expect (i was completely surprised to find out apparently they made a wedding account when i was little) and they pointed out, if i got married in london it would be the same or more money but ive had a few catty comments (not from my family) about spending so much money/having so many people. this kind of thing "oh well my wedding, had a 40 people and it only cost me 50 cents and a ball of twine. i would never spend so much money on a party, but if you and your fiance feel you *need* to have such a big do then i guess its your choice" , another choice one-"gosh. brides nowadays do spent a lot of money on just one day dont they. i think theyre more interested in the party than the marriage!". oh sneaky - you think i dont know that was aimed at me even though you use the general term "brides today". i also dont want to hear any sentence that involves the words "pointless" "waste" and other similar words. bite me. i dont run around telling people that i think expensive weddings are better (i dont think that at all, i just loved xcaret with a passion! but i would have married my fiance in a supermarket had he so wished) so why are people bent on trying to convince me that having a more expensive wedding means we must be more pre-occupied with material things than love... like a cheaper wedding would mean we were mroe in love if that makes sense? its not like they even know how much im spending as well, obviously i dont mention any details related to prices...as thats just tacky. (except on this forum on the thread comparing budgets. but thats different) mexican guests know its a lot as soon as they hear where it is, english guests...unless theyre incredibly weird and researching it are just guessing i think. i dont answer direct questions about costs, i just try and steer the conversation to "we dont have final figures yet" with a smile rather than "listen little tacky money obsessed people, im not going to detail my budget for you so you can criticise it" so im warning the world. next person who directly tells me im being ridiculous for planning the wedding my way - i will stomp on your head! well, a bit more realistically i will give you a mean look and walk away in fact from today, any wedding questions (innocent or not) will be met with "its a secret!"

you have to check with your specific resort...like someone mentioned some ban them as they are close to the aiport and could mess up planes! others worry about fire. hing is, there are no permanent rules - a bride might be allowed something for her wedding but by the next year its banned or there are different conditions. if youre allowed though, try to find the biodegradable without wires... dont leave a negative reminder of your wedding after you leave!

for me thats fine, providing they dont expect a wedding invite. my wedding is one evening...and what they choose to do with the rest of their vacation is their business (though obviously theyre welcome/invited to spend as much time as they want with my fiance and i!) its when guests want to invite people to the wedding that i get annoyed - i mean seriously, youd never dothat for a hometown wedding!! the family will just have to take care of themselves during wedding itself...no big deal in my opinion! if youre single, going to a hotel resort and hanging alone (or feeling like youre always tagging along with bride and groom) isnt that much fun. i think its a good idea to have other people there to be honest

Matt - could you tell me what the little blue flowers are in that bouquet? as i mentioned in another thread im hopeless with flower names and they look like something i might want! thanks!

could someone tell me the names of the flowers? i seem to be the only bride who doesnt know anythign about different kinds of flowers! when people describe their bouquets im manically googling the names but im no good at recognising flowers from photos. what are the little blue flowers in the first bouquet? and the blue flowers in the bouquet on this page? thanks so much!

well i have the advantage in that most of my guests (and i) are already in mexico...and frankly where we live is so dangerous that going to cancun is literally a lovely safe holiday (seriously, i saw somebody get shot last month. not pleasant) but ive had all of this from my english friends. my family are on board, mum dad and sister. i dont have any other family except my long lost uncle stephen who hasnt seen my family in ten years so clearly theres not much point inviting him. my friends back home....not so much. i already know very few of them will come. 2 friends who said they would be bridesmaids...well frankly im not certain whether they really will make it when push comes to shove as im well aware of the whole temporary enthusiasm from guests for destination weddings slowly dwindles away as the date approaches. its disappointing, but you need to not let it upset you or detract from having the wedding that you want and will make you happy we booked the venue last week - one years time, march 2013. anyone who really wants to come, should be able to manage it. anyone who doesnt, should have the decency to simply make their excuses rather than disappear. full stop. also there are polite ways to decline and it doesnt involve telling the couple how selfish they are. i couldnt go to a (non destination) wedding last year back in london as fiance and i couldnt pay the flights (we already paid for flights going back to london 2 months after that for my mums 60th birthday...and couldnt go from mexico to london twice in 2 months!). i rsvp'd as soon as i got the invite, and sent a private message "im so sorry i cant make it to your wedding! even though i cant make it to celebrate with you i cant wait to see your photos and hear all the details as soon as youre back from your honeymoon. i hope you have an incredible day and ill be there in spirit if not in person. all my love, jess". dont see why people cant just say that rather than *whine* *whine* "i dont see why you cant just get married back home"

i ended up choosing xcaret as i fell in love with it, but blue venado was a close second for me. the wedding planner they recommended (elena, i dont know if youre using her) had so many ideas, was really friendly and helpful in fact all in all they were a really great bunch of people. its going to sound stupid as my whole original plan was a beach wedding...but i started to have doubts about whether i wanted ot spend the whole night on the sand (which given i looked at mainly beach clubs pretty much ruled out most of my research). did love the deck they have at the end though, means you dont have to pay for a dance floor if you dont want to! must admit i think i preferred blue venado menu to xcaret though =S for me, my top venues were 1) xcaret 2) blue venado 3) isla de la pasion 4) kool club 5) then places like wickys, canibal royale...and all my other options

what kind of size hotel, or budget? i stayed in sandos carocol eco resort (theres a playa carmen one. but i stayed in the one just called "sandos eco resort and spa) last month and i loved it! the buffet was incredible, loads of options and it has a kids club, and its basically all kid friendly except for one adult only pool on the main resort (and an adults only section off to the side). its also very pretty...and there were also loads of different animals either in enclosures or wandering about. which i thought was pretty cool and im sure a kid would (you do have to explain to kids not to touch them though, im not a parent so not sure how hard it is. theyre not going to randomly attack you but they are pretty much wild) i also liked the beach there and the room i stayed in was very nice. you can snorkel in the water (not the sea..is like a river/cenote type thing)could be worth thinking about! heres one of the kinds of animals you can find on the paths. i must admit, ive forgotten the name and dont know what it is. but it was pretty cute! the wedding planner there (fernanda?) was also very ncie and friendly and pretty quick at replying i know its hard to pick a resort when you arent there...check out reviews and make a list of the things that are most important to you (beaches, food options, kid activities, number of pools, etc etc. do you watn a private reception or just a meal in a restaurant, do you want dancing, gazebo wedding/beach wedding? beach reception/pool reception/restaurant reception) and then look at reviews brides posted to work out oh i have a pic of a wedding i saw there too, thye kept it pretty simple...but you can add rose petals in the aisle, more flowers or whateve ryou want

im just starting my wedding website and i got a bit confused...when the wedding websites have the "our story" / "how we met"/ proposal section (bit different from each website but generally these catergories)....do you use "we" or talk in the third person. as in "our story - we met in....." or "jessica and orlando met...etc etc etc"

oh you totally seem to get where im coming from! an elephant would be incredible hahaha. i remember that a woman in the newbie thread got her wedding planner to find her a monkey (i cant remember what for - rings, or general monkey presence?). i would LOVE to see the expression on a wedding planners face if i asked for an elephant though. it could be great! well except i already stressed her out with all my questions, we had a particularly busy day where i managed to ask over 30 questions over various emails in less than one hour. she has the patience of a saint!! in terms of planning - im the same, the biggest thing i ever planned was buying food and drink for a bbq for about 15 people. and even then, it was supposed to be 4 and i got carried away and invited lots of people who were more than happy to come (and had to run straight back to the supermarket as clearly 15 people need more food than 4!) and now i feel like im planning an imaginery/fantasy event because its so much money...i mean ive never even really made any expensive purchases. despite all my attempts to be sensible...your mention of cirque de soleil had me imagining having trapeze artists flying above the guests heads and crazy performers. so clearly im not there yet!

im a blue bride too! i saw this bouquet in the other thread and i loved it!and im hoping it kind of matches to these bridesmaid dresses i like theres also a short version of the dress...cant decide which is nicer. fabric is quite light though (as in not heavy)so shouldnt be too hot! its a pity there arent more kinds of dark blue/purply flowers! i am sort of torn between having pink and blue instead though... the only flower im not crazy about are calla lilies. i dont know why, i jsut dont really love them. orange can be a great colour for sort of sunny bright weddings though. oh i seem incapable of making a decision without changing my mind!

we debated this the other day and fiance really doesnt see the problem!! he also doesnt agree that we would have ot pay our friends hotel and flight which i think is silly! "please pay to attend our wedding...but youll be working and wont enjoy it" eugh. im looking at photographers anyway and im tempted to just book on and present it as a done deal. but ill work on the persuading first!

youre welcome! well my fiance said he preferred the playa del carmen beaches so i started looking around there - private villas, beach clubs, etc. i havent had it yet, ive been planning for one month and the wedding is next year at xcaret eco-park. incredibly expensive but really beautiful. it was important to me to try to find a private place for the wedding...having 100s of sunbathers watching me while im getting married was really offputting to me and i thought i would end up super nervous on the day if i had a wedding somewhere public like a beach. i did love kool beach club and blue venado beach club as my joint second choice though! i am having100 guests...and the hotels i was looking into kept asking me to guarentee 80% of the wedding guests would stay at the hotel...and i wasnt sure i could do that (well without rail roading them into staying). i liked xcaret as that people could stay in hostels or 5 star hotels according to their budget and still come to the wedding! Tlseege's idea about making a list of what you want is a very good idea, helps you focus your search and reject unsuitable places more quickly! im still trying to choose a hotel to stay in (and hopefully a lot of my guests will join us there if they want) and there are just too many options!!