JessiTaylor

Just to say to anyone looking into non-resort reception venues like Blue Venado, Kool Beach Club etc....im planning a site visit in 3 weeks and plan to hit up as many of these places as humanly possible and then i'll post the info, or people can send me a PM!

That is a fantastic article, it really made me smile imagining a mexican family dismissing canada as a viable vacation spot. Even though i live in Monterrey, as the author put it "I can't even remember when I last experienced the beheading of a close friend."

Those photos are beautiful, i love them! ok i shall go for the more practical options of hammocks or something. Thanks for your suggestions!

I live in Monterrey which actually is one of the cities near the border specifically mentioned in travel warnings for foreigners! My guests pretty much trust me when i say that going to Cancun is fine,but visiting me here would be less fine (but still not as bad as many people make out). I use the analogy of states in the US....if there are a string of murders in New York, you don't start stressing out if you live in Washington (actually that analogy pretty much epically fails with my English friends since they don't have much concept of US geography ) Unless you're going to wander into dark allies waving wads of cash and your rolex, or going to try to buy drugs or get involved in criminal activity - there is no reason why anything would happen to you. Far more people die from deciding its a good idea to drunkenly frolic in the sea at night whilst not paying attention to warnign signs about rough water. Actually perhaps don't mention that, you dont want to add fear of drowning to their list!

To me it's like he doesnt understand its your (plural) wedding instead of your (only you) wedding. I don't see why he should expect for his friends to be "helped" financially.... generally guests pay for themselves. I guess its a bit different since your mum's guests are paid for, and a few of yours....but then you are paying for his family to come so i don't see why he has an issue. I can kind of understand your mum getting a bit frustrated...and saying he should pay for one aspect of the wedding itself (unless he was incredibly poor which you already said he isn't!) This post is basically to say i understand and i would feel the same way - but im sorry, i can't for the life of me think of a solution! If he is adamant he doesn't want to pay for the photographer - theres no way of making him and pushing the issue is only going to cause tension. It does seem a little bit strange that he considers his part to be "done" though, given that there are so many pieces that make up a wedding

Ok i feel better about it then! providing i dont do it while the other guests are there i think its fine! thanks for reassuring me =) Of course ideally id take everyone...but 100 people would be about 10,000 dollars!

Can you give me a rough idea about costs? they seem fantastic but if theyre out of my price range ill have to go for a dj (which now seems totally dull in comparison!!)

I keep recheckign this thread (even though i know i would get an email if there were new posts!) i want more mishaps!

100% agree. Stay strong and don't get caught up in all the drama! If they can afford to come (and they know pressuring you wont make you change your mind) i think they will eventually agree..but they might make you sweat a bit first.Its ok to want something different from your sisters wedding. Just make sure to be super sweet and keep thanking them for the offer (but you dont want to) but i agree with you that the costs (dress, bachelorette etc etc etc) mean there isnt *that* much of a difference cost wise. and they are having a one week holiday, the wedding is just one single day of that holiday, the rest will just be agood time! what a hard life for their guests (im rapidly passing from "understanding" to snappy hahaha) Heres a vent on a tangent - if guests want to decline, it would be nice if they said something like " hey! i would love so much to come to your wedding, it sounds amazing. unfortunately money is a bit tight right now and i dont think i can make it. cant wait to see the photos though and hope its amazing" my so called best friend decided to tell me it was a stupid idea, she didnt understand why i couldnt just get married in london, asking guests to pay that much is selfish. and she wanted to be at my wedding but not if abroad etc etc etc. Then she ignored me/changed subject every time i mentioned wedding plans Funny thing is...my parents are incredible and just spontanously offered to pay for 2 friends to fly out so i could have bridesmaids. and im choosing my supportive friends who didnt bitch at me about my wedding. so there! Anyone who is attempting to crush wedding dreams can stay quiet and far away! They'd only ruin it anyway

I assumed its just traditional to invite fiances sister - i dont have a super close relationship with FSIL (my spanish is rubbish and shes too shy to speak english unless drunk) but im inviting her to be a bridesmaid anyway. I live in Mexico so his family is going to be my only family nearby - once we start trying for a baby etc, my family will be too far to help me out. So ill leave it to her to decide if she wants to but shes invited, i think it will make us closer =) Family is super important in Mexico - and it will help show that i really want to be part of theirs

Im having the kids versus no kids debate right now. I was happy to have kids there...until my fiance reminded me of our close friend's son. Most of my friends' kids are lovely....but he is horrendously behaved, smacks other kids or steals their toys, and is just wantonly destructive (last time we went to his parents house he was smashing glass fixtures with a rock!) Its a huge pity as his 6 year old sister would be my dream flower girl. super sweet, and she loves practicing her english "what..is...your...favourite...colour" and shes a genuine pleasure to be around But since you cant exclude one child from a wedding....its looking like it will have to be kids free. unless we crush up drugs and put them in his juice (but even the most crazed bridezilla wouldnt go that far!!). We still have the option of trying a diplomatic talk with his parents...but since i dnot want to offend them and i really dont think have the levels of tact/diplomacy required, looks like ill be looking for the 'no kids' wording

I had never in my life heard of trash the dress (actually im astonished at just how much i didnt know about weddings before i came to this forum) but it sounds a great idea and i want to do it! i mentioned to my fiance that i loved the underwater shots some brides have taken. Then he completely burst my bubble by reminding me that we have an underwater camera, and every time he tried to take a picture of me underwater i did the 'puffer fish"...eyes scrunched shut, cheeks blown out and flailing arms. Hadn't actually thought about the logistics of that kind of shot So i will find a non-underwater shoot to better suit my pufferfish face

My family and my bridesmaids are coming from England and paying loads of money to do so. My fiances Mexican friends are paying about 100-150 dollars for the flight I wanted to take my family, fiances family and bridal party (2 bridesmaids) on a tour (they're all desperate to see chichen itza and its a special thankyou for people who trekked across the world). There's no possible way i can afford to pay for all 100 guests to go. Part of me thinks its horribly rude...but, mexican guests will probably fly for a long weekend - thursday to monday - whereas english guests will be there 7-9 days. If i do it before mexican guests get there....then thats ok? Or is the etiquette that if all guests don't go then no guests should go for free?

English guests will pay about 650 pounds for flights - which i think is about 900 dollars? Mexican guests will pay about 150 dollars for flights (its only about 1 hour travel time) The wedding and reception are going to be at a beach club, so guests can stay where they like. We're now investigating reasonably priced (but nice hotels) so the cost doesnt get pushed up too high and we can all stay together. aim is to keep total cost under about 1600 dollars for guests. We are going to save the super lovely resort type hotels for our mini honeymoon!! Ill cover transport costs providing guests can try to arrive at the same time as each other

There are differences with everybody. Some couples pay for everything...some brides families pay, others split it between both families. The advantage of a wedding at an all inclusive wedding, is if you have enough rooms (fiances family pay for their own rooms of course) then there are often complimentary wedding packages (up to about 10-20 people). It all depends on what you and your family are happy with - can your family afford to pay for some stuff (and do they want to), can you and your fiance pay for some stuff. I dont think the attitude "your family must pay for everything" is a great one...its a bit old fashioned. My parents have offered me some money (actually basically enough to pay for everything if i used it all), fiance and i will pay for some, fiance's family are also offering to pay for some. Previously fiance and his family had said bride and my family should pay for everything....but it turned out to be a joke. phew. Best way is talk to your fiance and see what you can afford with the budget available, and then you could always ask them to pay for a bit? I would tackle it like this (if you need help). Say: - all guests must pay for own rooms (in case they imagine you're covering it) - i can afford X Y and Z....but to have entertainment, or flowers or whatever i would need help of $X. then leave it up to them

Well for me Kool Beach Club is out - i want a wedding as well as reception and you can't get onsite until 7pm. Since May sunset times are around 7.20pm i'd have no time for photographs and the wedding would be in the dark! back to the drawing board...i have their information if anyone needs it though x

Hi, i'm looking at non-resort receptions too! Blue venado seem great at reply to emails quickly, and willing to help make a really great event.Did you get any info for Zensi, fusion or kool beach club? Alux is out for me, as im looking to have ceremony and reception in same place (and on the beach). It all seems much simpler for people who go with the big resorts - but i dont want a place where guests have to stay there if they dont want to (or i get charged a lot, grand velas wanted 500 dollars more or less for every non hotel guest!) I really love blue venado but im suffering from "what if theres something better out there" syndrome so i'm trying to gather all the information i can..... Any information appreciated! I have all the menus and prices for Blue Venado if anyone needs them Random aside - are you guys doing all this alone or have you involved a wedding co-ordinator? I thought i could do it completely alone but now im wondering if having someone to help pull it together would be helpful!

Oh thats horrible, im sorry! Whilst i think most destination wedding brides get some hassle from guests (its so expensive, you're forcing people to travel across the world to celebrate your day etc etc) you should be able to expect support from your family. Im sick of people making anti-destination wedding comments to me, my view is "i don't have a gun pointed to your head, you can choose to come or you can choose not to and i understand, but don't come reluctantly and whine about it as i have no patience with that" (i havent said that to anyone yet...but im dangerously close) This is your dream, but you do have a decision to make. If, as threatened, your parents won't come would you still enjoy your special day or would it be ruined? Are you willing to sacrifice that dream to have a local wedding to keep parents happy? If they wont be happy with a big local wedding either then frankly you can't win and may as well go for the DW! There is every chance they might change their minds though, particularly if you can get your sister on board by offering to pay for her. Point out that the money is being spent either way and isn't going towards a house. Are your parents struggling financially and don't think they can pay to come? Or they simply hate the idea and don't want to? Destination weddings often are cheaper for the couple, the issue is that the guests have to pay more. Its hard not to be disappointed when friends say its impossible but providing you have you and your fiance in your dream settings it will be perfect anyway...guests would just be lovely extras!

Easter sunday is march 31st so as march 29th would be part of easter week.Think thats also when people have holidays possibly including spring break? I was initially considering April 6th 2013 but my finance pointed out that if we wait a few weeks (april 27th or may 4th) then prices move from high to low season in mexico and the difference can be up to 50 dollars cheaper a night for hotels! (no idea about flights). Since the date didnt have a special significance for me im now going for May 4th!

Ive heard of dogs and parrots delivering the rings, but never a monkey doing it though! not sure how you would even go about renting one! You want to be careful though, a hotel in Thailand i went to had a so called tame monkey to take photos with tourists...and then one day it bit someone in the face! imagine that happening in your wedding!!

Well i'm now looking at non hotel options....so we can stay where we want, guests can stay where they want and it wont affect our wedding. i do love grand velas resort though so im wavering!

You're right, it's better to keep it simple! Im not going to go overboard...simple ceremony, good food and good music! As nice as fireworks might be, I am not going to pay $8,000 for the privilege! Its good to start to come back down to earth

Thats exactly it - this vague feeling of guilt that im supposed to be available to everybody all the time! im thinking about encouraging people to spend time with us before the wedding...then 2 days after wedding we will have mini honeymoon of a few nights at a different resort. It means if they want to stay on at our resort they can, and we wont be hiding in corners trying to have alone time! i think 2-3 nights will be perfect...then we'll fly home! I guess thats ok? Say goodbyes day after wedding and then leave? I hope so anyway...not sure i can think about this anymore when there are so many other pressing issues!

Maybe this is a stupid question! If most of my guests will be staying at the all inclusive hotel im choosing to get married in and most likely staying before and after the wedding at the hotel...how can i manage one day of alone time with my new husband the day after the wedding? Since beaches and pools and restaurants are public areas where everybody goes. Of course i don't want to ditch my friends and family who've made such an effort to come...but id like our first day as newly weds to just be the two of us. I can't tell if thats selfish? Or people will completely understand? I can just imagine going to a restaurant and seeing people at the table...and then it would feel odd walking to a different one. I know the other days we will be doing everything as a group! Or do good manners dictate we wait until we get home for our alone time? Part of me thinks one day isnt unreasonable, and part of me doesnt want to seem rude! Any advice would be much appreciated!

I think i'm getting a little overexcited about my Mexican wedding. I started off looking at basic packages, keeping things simple and then i'll see something on the internet or this forum and i'll start to want it Like jazz bands or special music instead of the standard DJ fire dancers Fire works A parrot to deliver the wedding rings (that was a brief temptation but still...i wouldn't have considered it had i not been infected by wedding fever) releasing butterflies etc etc (not going to do it as not sure if cruel or not, but thought about it) Unusual flower arrangements or centrepieces (but thats not entertainment related obviously) The list goes on. Ok nothing completely insane or unusal (well the parrot thing is a bit odd) but I just feel like i have to keep telling myself "step back, the idea is not to blow the equivalent of a small country's GDP on this one day, you don't need [X Y or Z] for a special day" I've never even been remotely interested in weddings (until i got engaged!) and have always wanted simple, basic and intimate. but because im planning this alone (fiance is very relaxed about arrangements and my family live in a different country) i feel myself starting to complicate the whole thing and getting tempted to make it grander and grander! I think i need a level headed person to plan this with! Anyone else in a similar position!?