Indeed I am so sorry to here about your situation. I don't believe that calling off the marriage is warranted in my opinion. Yes, the wedding can wait, you aren't in the best position to do so. As for the deposit, before you paid it did you receive a contract stating at what terms your funds can or if they can be returned. And if not returned to you, held for a different date in the future as monicak has stated. Give the planner a few days, if she works for a company call someone hire than her and see if anything can be done. Not call around her in a sense of side stepping what she has done for you, more so to help paint a grander picture of what is going on in your life. I too hired a wedding planning at the beginning of planning my wedding and I was completely honest with her in regards to our funds situation - meaning how she would get paid - and also when I has to cancel her services because I changed our wedding location. I believe good communication is always your best bet. And you'll be surprised how a little bit of tears can go a long way! As for the marriage, getting married cost possibly $35, your FI sounds like an exceptional man, why take that from him? Postpone your wedding, we are having a wedding on November 12 and we have been married since January 29, 2010. We just didn't have the money at the time so it wasn't important to either one of us, we knew we wanted to be husband and wife. As for borrowing money, I completely understand where you stand. It took me to become a stay at home mother before I reached out to my own mother to help us get situated after the baby was born. Now I do not believe that you two should ask for help to plan a wedding, a wedding at this moment is truly unnecessary, yet if you truly need help making ends, then by all means, if this is family they will understand the situation and more than likely be more willing to help than you are willing to ask.