cherany

My fiance & I met on a dating site!  She had been doing the online thing for years, meeting people and going on dates, even getting serious with some people, but it was my first time using a dating site.  (I did date one other person I met online before her, but that did not come about on purpose or from a dating site.)  

That was back in 2006, and we ended up moving in together in 2007, nothing too rushed or out of the ordinary, except for the fact that I moved across the country to live with her!  (We'd spent time together in person prior, of course.)  We both knew before we moved in together that it was the real deal, but I'm happy we've been together as long as we have and waited this long to plan a wedding.  We know all our friends have total peace of mind and confidence in our relationship, whereas friends tend to worry about couples who rush into marriage.

I think the opinion that meeting online is weird has lessened dramatically in the last few years, thanks to more and more people either trying it themselves, having friends who have, or just seeing endless commercials for sites like eharmony.  I also think that how YOU feel about it (like, whether you're a bit embarrassed to admit you met someone that way, or whether you preface the fact with some version of, "It might sound weird, but it's really not...") can alter a person's reaction almost 100%.  I used to start with an explanation of how it was totally normal, and the reaction from others was that it was something a little out there, if not completely weird.  Now, I proudly state how we met, with no prefacing or pre-explanations, since I no longer worry it's weird myself.  I find the reaction is completely different when you state simply, "We met on a dating site," the same way you might say, "We met at a party."  In the rare event that someone says they think it's strange, I confidently shrug and say, "I don't think it is."  In general, confidence in what you say causes people to rethink differing opinions.

Occasionally, people who are interested in giving it a try will ask what it's like, and I'll give them more info.  Like, how great it is to be able to see someone you like, check a lot of important details out up front, and then get to know them on the inside a little bit, before you go out with them and have physical/sexual attraction sucking all your attention away from the other stuff that matters just as much.  For me, it was also a great way to meet someone I could be certain was gay, without having to ask strangers totally awkward questions!

Originally Posted by starchild 

Mine left most of it to me and wasn't that interested in the details.  Some men are more involved than others though, so I would ask yours what he cares about so if there is something important to him he can have his say. 

I second asking him which details he is most interested in.  I did this with my partner in the beginning, and she was able to let me know about the things she really cares nothing about, versus the things she wants to actively help choose.  Saves her being bored to tears with things she has opinion on, and saves me getting annoyed when she has no opinion on said things (whereas I have opinions on everything!).  Also allows her equal say (or better) where it counts, with the things she cares most about. 

My fiance is female, so perhaps more interested than a groom might be, but still nowhere near as interested in all of this as me.  She likes to have a say, but she much prefers me to narrow the choices down to two or three things I like and only show those to her, since too many choices completely overwhelm her.  It does help that we have similar taste and ideas; mine are just more specific. I think if I really wanted a certain flower, for instance, she would just nod and be happy with it.

I second the Condo Hotels suggestion!  We're staying in penthouses at their El Taj location, and the rooftop kitchens were definitely a deciding factor for us!  Since we're only expecting about 15 to 20 guests, it's perfect for an informal welcome reception, cocktails, everyone getting to know enough other & having a wonderful time.  Helps that we have several friends who can grill like pro chefs!

I read a wonderful tip on another site, which said to buy yourself a new perfume on your honeymoon and wear it the whole time you're there.  Then, when you return home, you'll get a whiff of it on yourself and feel transported back to that wonderful time.

With that in mind, I think I'm going to get my fiance a nice bottle of perfume as a wedding gift.  She has a lot of fragrances already, but since deciding to watch our spending to pay for the wedding, she hasn't shopped for any new scents.  I know she'll be thrilled with a new one, especially one that represents our time in Mexico! 

It'll also be a nice way to give her something meaningful, without busting our budget. 

Thank you!!! I do help I find more El Taj brides! Looks like del Sol has shot most of the weddings there. In fact, they were the ones who told me about the place and recommended it so highly, so I feel really confident that I'll have an amazing day! With all the weddings they've photographed, I feel like they really know their stuff! I guess it's good that I have a year, because if I got married today, my excitement level would be so high, my vows would be in an, "only dogs can hear you squealing" pitch! I'd add bouncy smileys, but my browser is not allowing that at the moment. Just know I'm dancing over here!

Welcome!  I felt the same way when I discovered this site!  I would spend entire evenings reading reviews and looking at "wedding porn" on here; it seriously disrupted my sleep for a few months!

Forgot to add, we scored a deal on the photography, too!  Spring promo, oh yeah!

Seriously, this has been the best week in wedding planning EVER!  (Ha, not that I've gone around planning too many weddings... just this one!  But still!)  

It just feels like a dream, all of it! 

I guess I'm still a newbie?  Have made many posts here, but looks like I forgot to introduce myself! 

I'm Cherany!  Marrying the adorable and hilarious Amy!  

Our date is May 4, 2013 (or, as I've pointed out to Amy, who can never remember these things, 5-4-3! er, 5-4-13, technically, but you get the idea).  So far, we've nailed down...

El Taj Condo Hotels!!!  

Seriously, could die of excitement over this!  We're housing our bridal parties with us in their luxury penthouses, where we'll be grilling up dinner every night ('cept the wedding night!), and our ceremony will be right on the beach! 

Is anyone else getting married at El Taj?  Weddings don't seem as common there as some other places, but I'm pretty baffled as to why, because holy crap, have you seen the place?!

http://www.condohotelsplayadelcarmen.com/weddings/photo-gallery.php

We booked these units:

http://www.eltaj.com/302/

http://www.eltaj.com/325/

We were able to score their 2012 pricing & get the 3-night/30% off promo, thanks to their good relationship with our photographer, del Sol!  I almost didn't even ask, but now I'm so glad I did!  Soon as they heard we were having a del Sol photographer, getting the deal was a breeze!  

That's the other thing we've managed to sort: the photographer!  I can't even believe what I'm typing... seriously, my mouth is watering, and I'm giving myself heart palpitations, but it's official: del Sol photographers will be at our wedding!  Can I just say, "sfhklasdjfhaksakhgfdskjnvckmhreotu!!!!!!!!!!"  Lol, no, really!  File this under, "Can! Not! Form! Sentences!!!  Excited khdfksajdhfjklsahfldskjfh!!!!!"

http://www.delsolphotography.com/blog/index.php

*dies*  *is dead*  *coming back to life to look at more of their pictures*  *is dead again* 

Their pictures have to be killer promo for the hotel!  I know I've stalked the galleries on the del Sol site for months, checking out every picture of El Taj I can find!  (Just use the search feature on their site.)  I only wish there were more.  But there will be after my wedding!  Tons of them, because I'm going to slather those pictures all over the internet!  Vanity, psh.  Pictures like that of my dream day?  People behind me in the check-out line at the grocery store are going to hear about them!  

Is it weird that I'm just as excited about getting the pictures back after the wedding, as I am about the wedding?!  That's so ridiculous, I know!  But I can't help it!  I'm in love & want to marry the photos as much as I want to marry Amy!  And they're not even photos of us yet, haha!  I need help!  Or at least an ice pack to chill me out! 

Anyone else having a wedding at El Taj and/or using del Sol photographers?  Tell me there's someone else out there with this combo that can burst into SQUEEEEEEEE with me!!

Congratulations!  Mine is a same-sex wedding, as well.  Dreams resort was the first place I really fell in love with, so I was crushed when they said they wouldn't perform a same-sex ceremony.  I found an amazing place in Playa del Carmen that I'm even happier with, so while I don't have any suggestions for you in Cabo, I offer my support & confidence that you'll find an amazing venue!  I had to research from afar, so it took me a while, but you have the wonderful benefit of being there in person, so I bet it will be a breeze.  Can't wait to hear what you decide!

Originally Posted by MJKH 

WOW...I LOVE the chairs with the ruffles and have never seen that before!!!  How is that even done?  I'm wondering if you heat the edges of a sash if they go wavy like that???

I'm wondering the same.  I'm so in love with it, but it looks difficult.  Maybe the ruffles are already in the fabric?  I don't know... 

Sorry about the repeat post.  I don't know how to delete the first one, where the image tag was used (didn't realize we had to upload to this site).

Here's another picture of the starfish idea.  I love this, too.  Having trouble deciding if I prefer this, or the ruffles I shared above.  I think the starfish would be easier to DIY, but the ruffles are perhaps more unique?  I have plenty of time to decide, of course.

I'm in love with these!  Would do brighter beach colors, myself, in place of the taupe/blush color, but the white looks very nice!

I'm in love with these!  Would do brighter beach colors, myself, perhaps mixed with white.

Originally Posted by shanloveslexi 

I love the natural colors of the beach/sand with splashes of bright tropical colors. So, I am focusing on using ivory, sand, lime green, fuschia, cobalt blue and orange. Can you tell I had a hard time picking two colors...figured I'd pick them all!

I feel the same about splashes of bright color against the natural colors of the beach.  We are doing orange, fuchsia, aqua blue, lime green, and possibly bright yellow.  Very similar to your scheme!  

My vision is tropical, with plenty of bright colors and real flowers to represent the gorgeous paradise we'll be in, as well as the culture of Mexico. 

I'm a May 2013 bride, as well!  May 4 is our date, and we're a Playa del Carmen wedding.

We've been planning for a while, but we're just now to the point that we can start booking things, so I'm getting all kinds of nervous butterflies (the good kind)!  We're in the process this week & next of telling our friends about the event & asking the wedding party to be part of our day.

I'm sending STDs in the next couple of weeks.  Perhaps that's early, but I really want to put something concrete in everyone's hands to remind them of our location & date.  It'll be the first big wedding thing for us, so I'm incredibly excited about it! 

I don't think it's wasteful to enjoy what you pay for, and I intend to fully enjoy my dress in a TTD shoot.  Nothing to feel guilty about. 

Originally Posted by simba1234 

 

I negotiated the welcome cocktails for free for getting such a big group to book at the resort. That's something I always tell brides to do. We sometimes don't even realize how much bargaining power we have with these resorts. If you haven't already booked and signed your contract I would definetly ask. Especially if you're staying at an all inclusive. My resort wasnt an AI and I was still able to get a two hour free welcome cocktail reception. At an all inclusive it should be even easier because the drinks are already free and all they need to provide is the venue. It can be a closed off section by the pool or something like that.

Good to know.  We haven't booked yet, but are looking at a non-AI.  Our guest list is small, around 20 people, but perhaps we can still negotiate.  The worst anyone can say is no. 

Wedding is March 2013, so we have plenty of time to plan.  Most of the decisions, we keep going back and forth on, because it's not crunch time.  I'm sure as things progress, we'll go with what we feel and then be happy with our choices.  I just want our guests to have a great time, too. 

Wow, I'm really surprised at how early some of you sent yours!  My wedding is March 2013, so I would feel ridiculous sending them now.  Maybe around October of this year, so 2013 doesn't sound like it's two years away, when it's really not.  That would give everyone about a year and a half to save and plan. 

I think we're going to skip this altogether, for several reasons.

The first is that I'm not close with my dad, but my partner is close with hers.  It would be weird to have only her dancing with her dad, because it would call so much attention to me not dancing with mine.  It would also be weird for me to dance with mine, just to even things out.

The second thing is that a same-sex wedding between two women sort of creates a question of whether it's our fathers we should dance with in the first place.  I mean, isn't the idea that you are stepping away from your dad being the man who takes care of you, to your husband being that man?  Does this mean we should dance with our mothers?  Ridiculous, right!   Neither of us is close with our mother, so it would be doubly awkward.

We're just planning to jump right into the normal reception dancing by having our wedding party and other close friends go for it straight away.  FI will discuss with her father before the wedding, so he knows it's not a slight to him.  She says he'll probably be relieved not to have to dance in front of a crowd like that. 

I love the idea of giving the bouquet to the longest married couple!  It could turn awkward for us, though.  The longest married couple would be my parents, if they come, and I'm not close to them at all, so it would feel weird shining a light on them for any reason.  If they don't come, the longest married couple would be FI's dad & second wife, which could be embarrassing for FI's mother.  Not sure it would work for us, but it's a lovely concept, especially for those who will have grandparents they are close to at the wedding. 

I'll wear a garter, but no garter toss.  It'll really just be for the pictures of me getting ready, and I'm sure it'll show in our TTD photos the next morning.

The bouquet toss, I'm undecided on.  I've caught the bouquet at two weddings, the first of which there were a whopping 3 of us standing there for it (at a 200+ guest wedding!).  I never felt awkward, being singled out b/c we were single, but I could tell the other women standing by me (at both weddings) did.

My partner & I are definitely doing this!  And it was never a question as to wearing our real wedding dresses.  Not like we are ever going to wear them again!

Aside from being a ton of fun for us, these pictures will provide a lifetime of shock and awe from friends & fam, especially when framed and displayed in our home.

Wow, that brings a different perspective.  Make sure you want her in your wedding before you say yes, if you really feel that's her reasoning.  It would add a lot of fuel to the fire if you did it and then did not ask her to be in yours, since she's obviously not over the exclusion from the first wedding.  It's too bad she's playing a passive-aggressive game; that really dilutes the honor of being asked. 

I went to a wedding last year where they had hula hoops and guests doing that was the call for a kiss.  The longer a guest could go, the more passionate the kiss.  It was fun to see older guests have a go, and when more than one guest wanted to do it, it turned into a friendly competition.  I hula hooped alongside two other women, and one of them outlasted me and the third by several minutes!  The bride really laid a big one on her groom after, grabbing him by the tie and taking him out of the room, as if to get more intimate behind closed doors.  Lots of cheers from the guests on that one!