cherany

These look fantastic!  Your guests will be impressed!

Sometimes little mistakes are wonderful like that!  It sounds like it's THE dress for you, so good luck with your trip! 

I initially thought we'd just take our chances and get what we could find while we're down there, but the more I envision our day, the more I realize flowers are pretty important to me.  So, I'm trying to come up with something that features inexpensive flowers only & does not include sunflowers or gerber daisies.  

I think for the bridesmaids, at least, I'm sold on spider mum & dahlia bouquets:

Not in white, though.  For BMs on my side (bright pink dresses), we'd do these colors:

And for BMs on Amy's side (aqua blue dresses), we like these colors:

For those who like gerber daisies, this mix is pretty, too (and what got me thinking about the spider mum/dahlia combo):

I'm sure this would be crazy expensive, but you can't argue with the WOW factor!

Totally!  My fiance fell in love with a dress that was nowhere near here.  We considered a 15+ hour drive to find it, but it just didn't make sense for us, since we're trying to scrounge up every penny for other things in the wedding.  Luckily, she has since found plenty of other dresses she loves, but I know how it feels to be so sold on a dress, nothing else can measure up.  That's how I feel about mine! 

Dazeydawl, that's gorgeous!  I love all the lace! 

You could do dresses that have both orange & pink on them.  Pink dresses with orange sashes look amazing!  Check this out:

(Picture by del Sol Photography, whose site I'm constantly stalking for ideas!)

I'm not sure where to find the slideshow from that particular wedding, but you get the idea!  You could even reverse the combo for your MOH, if you wanted to (orange dress, pink sash).

About the parasols, almost all fold up small enough to travel with easily.  If you get delicate paper ones, just wrap clothing around them before placing in a well-packed suitcase (so not everything is flopping around in there & crushing them).  The fabric ones are far less delicate.

My dream dress!  I'm ordering soon, just waiting to find out if a local store can match the price I found online.  I live on the WA/OR state line, which mean if I buy online and ship to my WA address, I'll pay 8.25% sales tax, but if I can buy it in a store (specifically, five minutes away in Oregon), there won't be any sales tax.  Every penny I can save will help!

Crazy?  Obviously!  So totally me that I'd forever regret not going for it, if I were to talk myself into something simpler?  Totally! 

Thanks, Matt! We are over the moon with excitement to have del Sol photographers! I can tell you, after months of stalking your slideshows, my dress is far from what you're used to seeing! :cool:

I think going barefoot in the sand looks really pretty, but I'm not sure I could do it.  I wear high heels every day, so I wouldn't feel like myself without them.  I'm also super short, so I need at least a little something to keep me from looking like a child in pictures.  I'll probably go for dressy wedges, so I won't be digging into the sand, but I'll still have heels on.  

I think any product that is routinely put on sale for hundreds less than the retail price is suspect.  If something is fairly priced to begin with, there isn't as much room for markdown, without a loss of profit.  I'm just happy I'm going for a dress not meant as a wedding dress.  It's saving me a ton! 

I asked before, but I explained that we would be very understanding of anyone unable to attend the wedding, and told them there was no pressure to give me an answer for a while.  Three out of four said they wouldn't miss it for anything, and the 4th has legitimate reasons for needing to give me an answer a few months down the road, which is no problem for me.

I'm sending STDs in a few days, which all our guests know are pressure-free badges of info, nothing more. Everyone who is invited knows about the wedding already; we just want them to have something to put on the fridge to remind them of the date and location and keep them saving those pennies for when the time comes. 

I'm trying to figure this out, as well.  I like the solution of switching hotels and going to a different area for a day or two, if guests are remaining at the resort after your wedding.  If you have guests come down the week before the wedding, they may all choose to leave the day after the wedding, in which case you could just stay behind an extra couple nights. 

Originally Posted by nimbleknits 

I'm sorry, not trying to be ignorant, but what is "Four Weddings"?  I'd like to see photos of what this Bride did

Four Weddings is a reality TV show, where four brides compete with each other to see who has the best wedding.  Brides go to each other's weddings and score points for dress, venue, food. etc.  Some unseen judges also score points, to combat brides low scoring each other.  The winning couple gets a free honeymoon.  It's a fun show to watch, but sometimes an aggravating one, because when you see a bride who spent $200K on a wedding beat out a bride who spent $2K, it's kind of sick to see the former couple get the free honeymoon they could obviously pay for themselves.  Some women just want their wedding on TV, of course. 

Dumplings or other food that resembles your dog?

Haha, half kidding!  This is probably a better idea:

A tropical beach wedding was really the only one we could picture ourselves having, and with friends scattered across so many areas of the world, it just made sense.  We're from opposite sides of the country, too, so people would have to travel, regardless.  We didn't like the idea of having it in either of our home states, anyway, so off to paradise it is! 

I think the answer to the question of how you do it without upsetting people is that you don't do it without upsetting people.  There will always be people who get upset, no matter how you do things.

What you can aim for is a wedding that does not upset you or your fiance.  That is what we're going for, and thankfully, all our friends are thrilled that we're doing it this way.

Upsets will be dealt with after the wedding or, more likely, never!  If it upsets someone that we're having the wedding we want, I think it is clear that person feels we should sacrifice our dreams for their convenience, and that makes not worrying what they think very easy! 

We're sending STDs 1 year in advance (so, in just a few days - I'm super excited about it!).  We only have a small number of them going out, about 20, so perhaps they're not absolutely needed, but rather than friends calling us or taking (incorrect) guesses as to when we said our wedding was, I'd rather they have a magnet on their fridge with the date and location on it.  With guests scattered across multiple states, countries, and continents, STDs just make sense for us.  I did DIY mine to save money.

We haven't settled on an exact timeline for the rest yet.  I'm thinking about sending invites around the 4 month mark.  I feel like with our small guest list, all close friends we talk to on a regular basis, we can reasonably expect people to know by that point if they can come.  We'll be giving them a month or two to RSVP.  If we give them 2 months, that would give us a head count 2 months from the wedding day.  I feel that is enough time to finalize things, although it sounds scary, compared to traditional timelines.  I do expect most our friends will let us know sooner, though.  We've already had some ask if they can book airfare and a room this early.  (Ah, tax refund season!  If only we were getting one!)

Originally Posted by AllieH 

I really like a more photojournalistic style vs. posed portraits.

 

 

 

Completely agree!  When we first started talking about a wedding, I thought I'd be following the advice I'd always read about giving your photographer an extensive list of posed photos you want, because there's no going back, and you'd better make sure you get a posed picture with each person you care about.  It made sense when I read it.  Then, I discovered the photo-journalistic style and saw what beauty a talented photographer could produce that way, and I chucked that idea about a long list of posed shots straight out the window!  

 

I realized I don't want an album full of photos that all look the same, where we're standing there with interchangeable bridesmaids and guests; I want photos that reflect how the day actually goes, photos that can remind us in an instant of everything that was special about the day.  I want real emotions in the pictures!  We've all seen our friends smiling and laughing before, then reached to get a camera, had them pose and smile, and ended up with a photo that's nothing like the memory of them laughing in the moment.

 

Being the control freak I am, it's imperative we go with a photographer we trust completely to get every detail simply because it's what they do, not because of any list of poses we have in mind.  For this reason, we're having del Sol photographers at our wedding.  A look through their galleries and slideshows makes it incredibly clear that they don't need my guidance.  They know what they are doing!  I'd much rather give them all the room they need to be creative and wow us, than to waste a moment asking them to take pictures that will look like other people's pictures.  The main instruction we'll be giving them is, "Do your thing!" 

 

All that said (sorry, I'm a verbose chica like whoa!), there is just one picture I plan to specifically ask for, and that is a group shot of everyone.  Most of us will never get another chance to have such a picture; I know I won't.  Obviously, it's more doable if you have a smaller crowd, but I've seen it done well with larger ones, too.  I can see us getting a mega size print of something like this and hanging it prominently in our home, a sweet summary of the day and the love we felt. 

 

 

 

Originally Posted by AD2012 

 

We announced our engagement Easter of 2011 at dinner with my mom’s family. Not only did no one congratulate us except for my Grandma and mother but my cousin thought it necessary to sit us down and ask us to be surrogate for him and his wife.. He was completely serious! He tried to guilt us into it further by saying that his sister who already has a child and who was getting married the following August said she would do it so why wouldn't we? Seriously WTH! What makes you think that after announcing that we are going to be married next year that I would be up for carrying your child. It's just weird. And the fact that he was offended when we said no makes it even weirder.

Wow!  Do you think everyone knew he was going to ask you that, so when you guys made your announcement, it wasn't the news of the day they were all expecting & just kind of stunned them?  Even still, how awful that they didn't congratulate you!  I'm shocked as all get out that your cousin didn't have the tact to say to himself, "Well, there goes that.  Can't ask her now!"  Isn't that what the average person with an average amount of tact would've done?  I guess not everyone is average...

Money is at the root of so many rude questions!  It's just shocking how people don't have that inner voice to tell them that anything to do with money is OFF LIMITS! (Different if it's a financial contributor, obviously.)

We haven't been asked yet, but we have no doubt a certain set of friends or members of their family will ask us about the cost of our wedding, because the family discusses money like it's the weather, constantly telling people how much they spent on this or that, asking people how much things cost, asking how much money people make, etc.  Obviously, it's rude as hell, but it's become a bit of a joke around our house, because every time we see them, they share or ask something money-related and hideously inappropriate.  Once, Amy came home from a day with them & said, "Guess how much the bill at lunch was?  Person X took care of it, but I still know, because he bragged to the whole table about the amount before paying the bill.  Guess how much his car cost?  He told us that when we got in it.  Guess how much his most recent medical bill was?  Told us that, too!  Guess which expensive item we own that he asked me about the cost of?  I just acted like I couldn't remember."

They are otherwise nice friends, but it's like, damn, enough already!  I tend to give answers like, "Oooh, you know I'm southern.  Talking about money is taboo there."  Truthfully, I'm someone who loves to brag when I get a deal, but I don't like discussing hard numbers, unless it's a very inexpensive item (say, a $10 dress, which I will naturally want to tell friends about).  I don't want to tell anyone how much my rent is, how much money I make, how much my car cost, or how much our wedding cost! 

The only other annoying question I've been asked so far, which I tried to take in stride, since I know it was well-intended, was basically, "Can you do things just like this other person I know who had an amazing destination wedding in that area?"  I get that you had fun on that trip, but my wedding is going to be quite different from hers.  It will still be tons of fun! 

I love this idea, but decided not to do it, since we're trying to cut every expense possible, and these would've involved a shipping charge to get them, then more postage to send them to long-distance bridesmaids.  Still, my favorite idea out there for Mexican weddings!

http://www.amols.com/catalog/deluxe-toro-burro-mini-pinatas

Miniature piñatas, which could easily be "filled" with tiny notes popping the question. 

I'm too early in my planning to really know how this will play out, but as I plan things over the next several months, I intend to keep this question in mind.  I see how easy it is to get carried away and forget that it all has to be packed.  I don't want luggage fees eating up any $ I save by DIY'ing, so I'm going to keep the decor to a minimum, unless it can be bought in Mexico.  

Many things I want, we can either be sure to have by buying it here & packing it, or take a chance on only possibly having it by buying it down there (the risk being that we may not find what we're looking for).  Wherever possible, I'm trying to have the 'take a chance' attitude and ok with the possibility of not having whatever it is.  A few things, I'm sure I'll be unwilling to compromise on, but hopefully not several suitcases' worth! 

178?!  I'd be scared, too!    It's a good problem to have, too many friends, but whew!

We are doing close friends only, so a very small crowd.  Should be about 20 guests, give or take a few.  I used to think I'd want a huge 200+ person wedding, but now that idea just stresses me out!  

I love the fingerprint trees, but I think balloons are more fitting of our personalities, so we'll do something like this: