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I confess, even bring a bride myself, I always wondered what could possibly be keeping you so active on this site in the early planning stages! After booking a couple of vendors and sending STD's, I felt like I had nothing left to do for months. Yet, whenever I came around, I saw you were chugging along like the wedding was in a week! You are incredibly organized and on top of everything!

That's great to hear you say that, because that's pretty much where we are, too. Now I don't feel like the poor/cheap bride, haha. I had in mind that she could go up to the 600 to 800 range, but she said she doesn't want to spend that much and prefers to cap it around 400. My own dress is in the low 400s, which I thought would make her feel more comfortable spending more on her own, but it actually made her want to find a cheaper dress, too. She's realized that two brides buying dresses is going to add up to way more than she ever thought we'd be spending (she was blissfully unaware of how much wedding dresses cost) and would rather spend that cash on other aspects of the wedding, which I completely understand and agree with. I can definitely handle being the pit bull at the appointment; that is my nature, anyway! Everyone hates a pushy salesperson, but I generally can't stand the nice ones, either. I know what I like, know what I'm willing to pay, and neither need nor want outside opinions in the fitting room. Amy is different, though, usually very appreciative of sales people, because she usually has no idea what she wants or what she's willing to spend. I know a salesperson will read her and see she is easily persuaded, so I had in mind I would have to insist she not be shown a single dress over the amount we tell them. I asked her more questions today about whether she'd be ok with trying on dresses, then having me find something similar for less, but she's afraid she'll fall in love with something and want that very item, right then and there. Knowing her, I can't say I disagree; I know it's likely, based on past experiences shopping with her. Once she finds something she likes, she's ready to pay and have them bag it up, not keep shopping for a lower price. With that in mind, I took a closer look online at bridesmaids dresses that come in formal enough styles that she could get away with, without anyone being the wiser at the wedding. Many come in white and could be jazzed up with a crystal belt or something similar. Doing that takes us from being in the lowest price category to suddenly able to look at anything she likes, since most bridesmaids are well under $400. And sizing won't be as big of an issue, either, since many bridesmaid dress lines come in a full range of sizes. I'm checking to see when the bridesmaid she wants to come along has time to shop with us, and hopefully we'll hit bridal shop #1 soon! I know she hopes to only do it once, but I warned her she may need to go two or three places to find the dress. She made a face, but agreed.

Thanks! When you went to the appointments, were you upfront about your budget, or did you fib a little so they would show you more dresses? Amy is definitely the type who can be talked into something in a store, so we'll have to go into it with a very clear mindset that we're not spending over a certain amount, but I don't want to limit her to so few dresses that she can't find anything, either.

Thanks! I definitely want to get her into a shop to see what styles look good and what she likes. If she finds a great dress, I'm willing to do the legwork and find it for her at a discounted, possibly pre-owned price. I'll check out those links just to see what's out there, but I definitely think it's time to make the appointments!

I plan to learn some before I go, but I don't know how successful I will be. I took 2 years of it in high school and came out only knowing how to ask incredibly basic questions. Time to get to work on that, I guess!

Eek! I can't even imagine what you spent to travel with that many pieces of luggage! As someone who can barely say hello and count to ten in Spanish, a story like yours kind of freaks me out. Thank you for sharing! Especially the tip about using ordinary luggage, because I have heard people discussing other containers to use, and I always wondered if that might draw more attention. I hope to bring down very few suitcases, but I need to get better about keeping up with receipts.

That is good feedback! Hmm, I am now debating, because that's really out of our price range, but I have heard from some brides that ordering a more elaborate bridesmaid dress in white is sometimes doable. I would hate for her to fall in love with something that we cannot afford, but I have reservations about taking her to the types of stores where you are the one digging through the racks, because she really prefers to have someone showing her things. I'll talk to her and see what she thinks. A bridesmaid of mine has been recommending she try a shop where they sell dresses that were ordered and then not taken by the bride, for whatever reason (wrong style accidentally ordered, wrong color, wedding called off, etc.), since they are supposedly much cheaper than regular boutiques. I don't know the name of the shop, but will report back if we check it out. Online shopping, she likes, but it's impossible to know what the dresses will look like on her when she hasn't tried any on. I skipped right over trying on dresses (found something I love online and then had eyes for no other dress!), but there's no way that would work for her. I am much more aware of how dress styles fit my shape. She wears a dress once every three years, maybe! The last time she was in a truly formal gown, I think it was the '90's!

I plan to do 1 bag per couple and 1 bag for each person traveling alone, perhaps with medicines doubled up in the couples' bags. I do not want to bring down a ton of luggage, so I will not be filling the bags with anything I do not feel will be used for the majority of the guests, but I also don't want to spend precious vacation time searching stores for the items and putting the bags together, so I plan to buy the contents at home. If you feel vacation time is worth the trade-off, I think you could easily do your bags in Mexico, but you might not have single packet meds in them, for instance. Some brides use those tiny drawstring mesh bags to put pills in, so they can buy a larger size bottle of OTC meds and divvy them up. Just be sure to include dosing instructions.

Sorry to hear MsBubbles is gone! Hope everything is ok with her.

Thanks! Nordstrom is one of Amy's favorite stores, on the rare days she is interested in trying on clothes, so that is a great suggestion! We have Nordstrom near us, but not sure about the wedding suite. I did browse their dresses online, though, and while I see they have some at low price points (which we will definitely need), they don't appear to have anything for plus size brides, which she is. She's been very active in the past year, playing soccer several times a week on various teams, but it hasn't resulted in much weight loss. She said last night she's content to shop for dresses without the added pressure to lose pounds, which is perfectly fine with me. I want her to have an easy time shopping, but she's more than a size or two away from fitting regular dresses, so I think it's best if she gets something that fits her now and alters later, if necessary. There's a shop called Bridal Exclusives near us, which I have heard great things about from plus-size brides. She's worried they're too expensive, but I at least want her to have a good experience with someone helping her figure out what silhouettes look good on her body type. Right now, she has no clue, and I am not much help, being a completely different shape and size. She wants me to come, so we're planning to start shopping very soon. Suggestions of shops from those familiar with the Portland area are welcome.

Not that I am glad to hear you are feeling behind, but the comparison makes me feel good, because I've been feeling like I am way behind myself! I try to remember that many destination weddings are planned entirely in less time than I have left to finish planning. Because our friends are aware of the date and location, they are also aware that they need to make a decision about coming or not. We know where most of our friends stand, so RSVP's will be more of a formality than anything. That is one of the biggest stress factors I am noticing with a lot of brides.

It is probably high time I made one of these lists! I'm sure it's missing tons of stuff, but for now... Done: Passports - super easy, already had them! Save the Dates - DIY luggage tag magnets http://www.bestdestinationwedding.com/t/79805/my-diy-save-the-dates-luggage-tag-magnet-design Flights booked (red-eye, hope we don't regret it!) Transportation from airport to PDC decided on (public bus, so much info on the web!) Accommodations booked for half the trip (May 2, 3, & 4, our wedding night) Photographer booked (Jonathon from del Sol, the absolute most exciting thing about our wedding, aside from the marriage itself!) Wedding planner selected (Leanne Marie, so happy to have her!) Partially done: Amy's ring - ordered online and received it yesterday, but it's too big, so we're exchanging the size My ring - I've chosen what I want, but waiting to order till I have a better idea on size (currently slimming up) My dress - chosen, but again, waiting to order till I have a better idea on size (8 weeks order time, so I'll order 12 weeks out) Bridesmaids dresses - 1 out of 5 ordered, 2 out of 5 selected but not ordered yet, 2 out of 5 not chosen yet (all different styles, obviously) Bridesman's attire - Amy has a guy friend in the wedding, so his shirt will match the bridesmaids' dresses (he can find white pants on his own) Invitations - DIY message in a bottle, with a passport booklet of pre-travel info (currently working on them, long way to go) To be done: Accommodations for the second half of the trip (only able to stay 2 more days after the wedding, but want a change of scenery) Amy's dress - aside from browsing dresses over a year ago, she has made no progress on this (hates shopping, hates trying on clothes) Live music - possibly having a Spanish guitar player & hoping to have a bridesmaid sing in the wedding; looking to combine these two things Music - ipod reception decided on, but more to go on this (need to book system and speakers & decide on music) Flowers - have talked to a vendor, but mostly undecided right now (I'm picky and cheap, not the best combo) Make-up/hair arrangements - very unsure of this right now... want to bring in a pro, but don't think we can afford it (I have chosen a hairstyle, at least) Ceremony decor - have lots of ideas, working with the wedding planner to execute them, but need to shop for many things Reception decor - a few ideas, but a long way off from feeling confident about this; lots of decisions to make & shopping to do! Transportation to/from ceremony and reception - wedding planner is helping with this, I think (need to check) OOT bags - not planning to go crazy with these, but want to make sure everyone has sunscreen, aloe, and meds Dog sitter - one of our dogs can be difficult, so trial run(s) not optional; need to get on this! What else am I forgetting? I should have another look through this thread to see what else there is. Don't want to suddenly remember something too late!

Thanks, Tova! I agree completely - MUCH better to have a shift in the road now than a couple months out! Although I feel better now, it was a crazy few days there when I didn't know what the F was going to happen with my wedding! Having it happen at the same time as I was worrying about a bridesmaid not coming (and some very hurt feelings on both sides, which we thankfully worked through, despite her inability to attend) was super stressful! On top of it, my dog had a tumor removed that week, so I was freaked out about her having cancer (she did, in fact, but it was removed completely, so all is well). Just a lot of crap coming down on me at once! In some ways, it was good, though... if the issue with the dog was worrying me, I could dive back into wedding planning, and if the wedding stuff was about to make me scream, I had my dog to think about. Weird how several bad things happening at once can sometimes be a blessing! Same with the bridesmaid issue. I'm just so, so happy to be back on a forward track! I have all new wedding plans to get excited about now!

Thanks! I really do hope our stay goes smoothly. We would lose our very hefty deposit if we switched hotels, so we are staying. The place does seem lovely, with the exception of all the rules surrounding weddings, so I can't knock it completely. I just wouldn't recommend anyone consider it for their ceremony or reception. That's really awful about the resort switching to adults-only on you! Did you know before you booked the wedding? One thing I'm finding super, super aggravating about wedding planning is having to deal with rules that change after a place has you locked in with non-refundable deposits. I would be so livid if a bridesmaid wasn't able to come over something like that! Really sorry for you!

In just a couple of weeks, nearly everything has changed for us! I wrote about the turn of events here: http://www.bestdestinationwedding.com/t/51788/biggest-destination-wedding-stress-factor-whats-yours/250#post_1838893 We've officially decided to move our ceremony location to another beach, one that involves us traveling from the hotel where we're getting ready (something I had hoped to avoid). However, it seems we'll have a nicer beach and more privacy at the new location, so it may prove to be a very happy mess-up. We're also in talks to move the reception to a nice restaurant downtown, another thing very different than I imagined (we initially thought we'd have a beach reception in walking distance of the ceremony site). But, we'll have a private outdoor terrace with plenty of room for dinner and dancing if we do it this way, so again, this may prove a much better option for us than our original plan. If things work out, I'll report back and tell you guys all about the restaurant (a little scared to jinx it right now, I guess?). The biggest things keeping me from going nuts at this point (because holy crap, it's stressful to be back at square one in your planning when you are 6 months away from getting married!) are the new wedding planner (Leanne Marie, sooooo easy to work with and full of money-saving ideas for us) and the staff at del Sol Photography (they had a great location in mind for us when we ended up needing a non-resort ceremony site, a tough thing for us to find on our own, and they've been super helpful in other planning aspects, as well). I now feel we have a team of people who are working together to make sure our day goes smoothly AND is being respectful of our budget. That was not the case just a couple of weeks ago, so if the trade-off for switching venues is that we feel more assured of everything, it is worth it. I'm starting to realize that sometimes feeling like things are in order is not really a matter of how many details are nailed down, but rather, who you have making sure they will be nailed down in the right amount of time. I have plenty to do on my end in the coming months, but there is so much I now have other people worrying about for me, people I feel really good about trusting. I did not have that at the previous venue at all and shudder to think what a wreck I would've been on my wedding day, had I kept everything as it was! Lots more updates to come from me! I'm back in the swing of things and excited about the new plans!

My biggest stress so far is the venue! We booked our stay at El Taj a year in advance, enough rooms for us & our bridal parties. (Decided other guests could book later on their own, either at that hotel or another of their choosing.) The hotel knew we were planning a wedding there, and they told us our reservation was set. Nothing to worry about until closer to the date, when we'd start choosing our menu and other details. We felt great about everything. Fast forward to now, 6 months away. I get back in touch with the hotel to start working out the details, and I'm re-routed to the in-house wedding planner, a position that did not exist when we booked. She informs me we do not, in fact, have a reservation for a wedding or reception, only for the rooms we booked. Scary as that sounds, it seemed fixable, since their event calendar is empty that day. However, it quickly became clear to us that things were a mess. There are now many rules we need to contend with, such as no ceremonies allowed before 6:30 pm (not enough time for a daylight ceremony and sunset portraits), no ipod receptions allowed, DIY decor either seriously frowned upon or not allowed, a minimum # of rooms booked before they will even let us reserve the restaurant, and more. Despite the fact that we booked before all of this, they are not budging on anything. With some of these rules being deal-breakers for us, we now have to find another venue for our ceremony & reception. We really do not want to move hotels, having already fallen in love with this one, showed it to our bridal parties for them to get excited over, and so on, which means we are looking for a venue not exclusive to a resort. Stressful! Thankfully, we are now in touch with a flexible planner, Leanne Marie, who is listening to what we want, rather than telling us how it has to be, and she's working to get us back on track. The staff at del Sol Photography (the first thing we booked after deciding on a destination wedding, something we pat ourselves on the back for more each day!) has been incredibly helpful, working with Leanne to find creative solutions and make sure our day is beautiful and goes smoothly. Without them, I would be going crazy at this point! I never envisioned myself a stressed-out bride, since we wanted a relaxed day from the beginning, but here I am. While I do feel everything will fall into place, right now I don't know what it will look like and how far from our initial vision it will be. It's very nerve-racking. Second-biggest stress is a bridesmaid not being able to make it to the wedding, a really craptastic experience. While it seems like a dot in the sky compared to the situation with the venue, I know the wedding location will eventually be sorted out, and we'll be able to enjoy our day. Not having a dear friend there is something I'll always have regrets about, regardless of the fact that there's nothing I can do to change it.

You are definitely not the only one feeling that way! For months, I sort of lost interest in planning, because it felt like I had nothing to do. Now, with the wedding 6 months away, I'm talking to vendors again, but some still leave me with the impression that they'd rather talk much closer to the date. It's so different from an at-home wedding! Welcome, and congratulations!

Thank you! I've used various primers, but they all tend to crease on me, too. I'll give your recommendations a try, and I appreciate the Nordstrom Rack tip! I rarely go there, so I wouldn't have known otherwise.

Thanks. I'll try a few things out before the big day and see what works for me.

Thanks. Yes, I would like to know the eyeliner and especially mascara. No matter what mascara I use, I often end up with dark circles under my eyes from it. While I don't have an oily face, I think the area around my eyes is an exception. Eyeshadow always creases on me, as well, no matter the type or brand.

This is such a fun idea! I'm stil undecided on aisle decor, but this is a contender.

Wow, iPad went crazy on me there and posted my reply instead of auto correcting my typo and allowing me to finish. I hate touch screens! :mad: I meant to say, I'm still trying to decide between doing my own make-up and hiring someone. I love the look of airbrush, but it might not be in our budget, so I'm also thinking of how I might do my own face, especially what products to use, in case it comes to that.

Super helpful! I'm still trying to decidie

Welcome, ciaocarla! It took my fiancé and I many months to decide on a venue. It's a big decision! If you're considering showing up on a public beach and having a wedding, make sure to check out any permit laws. I never gave it any thought myself, until the wedding coordinator at our hotel told me we need one.

Ah, never mind! Just saw the part about some prices being listed in pesos, with wedding prices listed in dollars. Now I'm just curious if anyone has used this salon?