cherany

Four Weddings is a reality TV show, where four brides compete with each other to see who has the best wedding. Brides go to each other's weddings and score points for dress, venue, food. etc. Some unseen judges also score points, to combat brides low scoring each other. The winning couple gets a free honeymoon. It's a fun show to watch, but sometimes an aggravating one, because when you see a bride who spent $200K on a wedding beat out a bride who spent $2K, it's kind of sick to see the former couple get the free honeymoon they could obviously pay for themselves. Some women just want their wedding on TV, of course.

Dumplings or other food that resembles your dog? Haha, half kidding! This is probably a better idea:

A tropical beach wedding was really the only one we could picture ourselves having, and with friends scattered across so many areas of the world, it just made sense. We're from opposite sides of the country, too, so people would have to travel, regardless. We didn't like the idea of having it in either of our home states, anyway, so off to paradise it is!

I think the answer to the question of how you do it without upsetting people is that you don't do it without upsetting people. There will always be people who get upset, no matter how you do things. What you can aim for is a wedding that does not upset you or your fiance. That is what we're going for, and thankfully, all our friends are thrilled that we're doing it this way. Upsets will be dealt with after the wedding or, more likely, never! If it upsets someone that we're having the wedding we want, I think it is clear that person feels we should sacrifice our dreams for their convenience, and that makes not worrying what they think very easy!

We're sending STDs 1 year in advance (so, in just a few days - I'm super excited about it!). We only have a small number of them going out, about 20, so perhaps they're not absolutely needed, but rather than friends calling us or taking (incorrect) guesses as to when we said our wedding was, I'd rather they have a magnet on their fridge with the date and location on it. With guests scattered across multiple states, countries, and continents, STDs just make sense for us. I did DIY mine to save money. We haven't settled on an exact timeline for the rest yet. I'm thinking about sending invites around the 4 month mark. I feel like with our small guest list, all close friends we talk to on a regular basis, we can reasonably expect people to know by that point if they can come. We'll be giving them a month or two to RSVP. If we give them 2 months, that would give us a head count 2 months from the wedding day. I feel that is enough time to finalize things, although it sounds scary, compared to traditional timelines. I do expect most our friends will let us know sooner, though. We've already had some ask if they can book airfare and a room this early. (Ah, tax refund season! If only we were getting one!)

Wow! Do you think everyone knew he was going to ask you that, so when you guys made your announcement, it wasn't the news of the day they were all expecting & just kind of stunned them? Even still, how awful that they didn't congratulate you! I'm shocked as all get out that your cousin didn't have the tact to say to himself, "Well, there goes that. Can't ask her now!" Isn't that what the average person with an average amount of tact would've done? I guess not everyone is average...

Money is at the root of so many rude questions! It's just shocking how people don't have that inner voice to tell them that anything to do with money is OFF LIMITS! (Different if it's a financial contributor, obviously.) We haven't been asked yet, but we have no doubt a certain set of friends or members of their family will ask us about the cost of our wedding, because the family discusses money like it's the weather, constantly telling people how much they spent on this or that, asking people how much things cost, asking how much money people make, etc. Obviously, it's rude as hell, but it's become a bit of a joke around our house, because every time we see them, they share or ask something money-related and hideously inappropriate. Once, Amy came home from a day with them & said, "Guess how much the bill at lunch was? Person X took care of it, but I still know, because he bragged to the whole table about the amount before paying the bill. Guess how much his car cost? He told us that when we got in it. Guess how much his most recent medical bill was? Told us that, too! Guess which expensive item we own that he asked me about the cost of? I just acted like I couldn't remember." They are otherwise nice friends, but it's like, damn, enough already! I tend to give answers like, "Oooh, you know I'm southern. Talking about money is taboo there." Truthfully, I'm someone who loves to brag when I get a deal, but I don't like discussing hard numbers, unless it's a very inexpensive item (say, a $10 dress, which I will naturally want to tell friends about). I don't want to tell anyone how much my rent is, how much money I make, how much my car cost, or how much our wedding cost! The only other annoying question I've been asked so far, which I tried to take in stride, since I know it was well-intended, was basically, "Can you do things just like this other person I know who had an amazing destination wedding in that area?" I get that you had fun on that trip, but my wedding is going to be quite different from hers. It will still be tons of fun!

I love this idea, but decided not to do it, since we're trying to cut every expense possible, and these would've involved a shipping charge to get them, then more postage to send them to long-distance bridesmaids. Still, my favorite idea out there for Mexican weddings! http://www.amols.com/catalog/deluxe-toro-burro-mini-pinatas Miniature piñatas, which could easily be "filled" with tiny notes popping the question.

I'm too early in my planning to really know how this will play out, but as I plan things over the next several months, I intend to keep this question in mind. I see how easy it is to get carried away and forget that it all has to be packed. I don't want luggage fees eating up any $ I save by DIY'ing, so I'm going to keep the decor to a minimum, unless it can be bought in Mexico. Many things I want, we can either be sure to have by buying it here & packing it, or take a chance on only possibly having it by buying it down there (the risk being that we may not find what we're looking for). Wherever possible, I'm trying to have the 'take a chance' attitude and ok with the possibility of not having whatever it is. A few things, I'm sure I'll be unwilling to compromise on, but hopefully not several suitcases' worth!

178?! I'd be scared, too! It's a good problem to have, too many friends, but whew! We are doing close friends only, so a very small crowd. Should be about 20 guests, give or take a few. I used to think I'd want a huge 200+ person wedding, but now that idea just stresses me out!

I love the fingerprint trees, but I think balloons are more fitting of our personalities, so we'll do something like this:

My fiance & I met on a dating site! She had been doing the online thing for years, meeting people and going on dates, even getting serious with some people, but it was my first time using a dating site. (I did date one other person I met online before her, but that did not come about on purpose or from a dating site.) That was back in 2006, and we ended up moving in together in 2007, nothing too rushed or out of the ordinary, except for the fact that I moved across the country to live with her! (We'd spent time together in person prior, of course.) We both knew before we moved in together that it was the real deal, but I'm happy we've been together as long as we have and waited this long to plan a wedding. We know all our friends have total peace of mind and confidence in our relationship, whereas friends tend to worry about couples who rush into marriage. I think the opinion that meeting online is weird has lessened dramatically in the last few years, thanks to more and more people either trying it themselves, having friends who have, or just seeing endless commercials for sites like eharmony. I also think that how YOU feel about it (like, whether you're a bit embarrassed to admit you met someone that way, or whether you preface the fact with some version of, "It might sound weird, but it's really not...") can alter a person's reaction almost 100%. I used to start with an explanation of how it was totally normal, and the reaction from others was that it was something a little out there, if not completely weird. Now, I proudly state how we met, with no prefacing or pre-explanations, since I no longer worry it's weird myself. I find the reaction is completely different when you state simply, "We met on a dating site," the same way you might say, "We met at a party." In the rare event that someone says they think it's strange, I confidently shrug and say, "I don't think it is." In general, confidence in what you say causes people to rethink differing opinions. Occasionally, people who are interested in giving it a try will ask what it's like, and I'll give them more info. Like, how great it is to be able to see someone you like, check a lot of important details out up front, and then get to know them on the inside a little bit, before you go out with them and have physical/sexual attraction sucking all your attention away from the other stuff that matters just as much. For me, it was also a great way to meet someone I could be certain was gay, without having to ask strangers totally awkward questions!

I second asking him which details he is most interested in. I did this with my partner in the beginning, and she was able to let me know about the things she really cares nothing about, versus the things she wants to actively help choose. Saves her being bored to tears with things she has opinion on, and saves me getting annoyed when she has no opinion on said things (whereas I have opinions on everything!). Also allows her equal say (or better) where it counts, with the things she cares most about.

My fiance is female, so perhaps more interested than a groom might be, but still nowhere near as interested in all of this as me. She likes to have a say, but she much prefers me to narrow the choices down to two or three things I like and only show those to her, since too many choices completely overwhelm her. It does help that we have similar taste and ideas; mine are just more specific. I think if I really wanted a certain flower, for instance, she would just nod and be happy with it.

I second the Condo Hotels suggestion! We're staying in penthouses at their El Taj location, and the rooftop kitchens were definitely a deciding factor for us! Since we're only expecting about 15 to 20 guests, it's perfect for an informal welcome reception, cocktails, everyone getting to know enough other & having a wonderful time. Helps that we have several friends who can grill like pro chefs!

I read a wonderful tip on another site, which said to buy yourself a new perfume on your honeymoon and wear it the whole time you're there. Then, when you return home, you'll get a whiff of it on yourself and feel transported back to that wonderful time. With that in mind, I think I'm going to get my fiance a nice bottle of perfume as a wedding gift. She has a lot of fragrances already, but since deciding to watch our spending to pay for the wedding, she hasn't shopped for any new scents. I know she'll be thrilled with a new one, especially one that represents our time in Mexico! It'll also be a nice way to give her something meaningful, without busting our budget.

Thank you!!! I do help I find more El Taj brides! Looks like del Sol has shot most of the weddings there. In fact, they were the ones who told me about the place and recommended it so highly, so I feel really confident that I'll have an amazing day! With all the weddings they've photographed, I feel like they really know their stuff! I guess it's good that I have a year, because if I got married today, my excitement level would be so high, my vows would be in an, "only dogs can hear you squealing" pitch! I'd add bouncy smileys, but my browser is not allowing that at the moment. Just know I'm dancing over here!

Welcome! I felt the same way when I discovered this site! I would spend entire evenings reading reviews and looking at "wedding porn" on here; it seriously disrupted my sleep for a few months!

Forgot to add, we scored a deal on the photography, too! Spring promo, oh yeah! Seriously, this has been the best week in wedding planning EVER! (Ha, not that I've gone around planning too many weddings... just this one! But still!) It just feels like a dream, all of it!

I guess I'm still a newbie? Have made many posts here, but looks like I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Cherany! Marrying the adorable and hilarious Amy! Our date is May 4, 2013 (or, as I've pointed out to Amy, who can never remember these things, 5-4-3! er, 5-4-13, technically, but you get the idea). So far, we've nailed down... El Taj Condo Hotels!!! Seriously, could die of excitement over this! We're housing our bridal parties with us in their luxury penthouses, where we'll be grilling up dinner every night ('cept the wedding night!), and our ceremony will be right on the beach! Is anyone else getting married at El Taj? Weddings don't seem as common there as some other places, but I'm pretty baffled as to why, because holy crap, have you seen the place?! http://www.condohotelsplayadelcarmen.com/weddings/photo-gallery.php We booked these units: http://www.eltaj.com/302/ http://www.eltaj.com/325/ We were able to score their 2012 pricing & get the 3-night/30% off promo, thanks to their good relationship with our photographer, del Sol! I almost didn't even ask, but now I'm so glad I did! Soon as they heard we were having a del Sol photographer, getting the deal was a breeze! That's the other thing we've managed to sort: the photographer! I can't even believe what I'm typing... seriously, my mouth is watering, and I'm giving myself heart palpitations, but it's official: del Sol photographers will be at our wedding! Can I just say, "sfhklasdjfhaksakhgfdskjnvckmhreotu!!!!!!!!!!" Lol, no, really! File this under, "Can! Not! Form! Sentences!!! Excited khdfksajdhfjklsahfldskjfh!!!!!" http://www.delsolphotography.com/blog/index.php *dies* *is dead* *coming back to life to look at more of their pictures* *is dead again* Their pictures have to be killer promo for the hotel! I know I've stalked the galleries on the del Sol site for months, checking out every picture of El Taj I can find! (Just use the search feature on their site.) I only wish there were more. But there will be after my wedding! Tons of them, because I'm going to slather those pictures all over the internet! Vanity, psh. Pictures like that of my dream day? People behind me in the check-out line at the grocery store are going to hear about them! Is it weird that I'm just as excited about getting the pictures back after the wedding, as I am about the wedding?! That's so ridiculous, I know! But I can't help it! I'm in love & want to marry the photos as much as I want to marry Amy! And they're not even photos of us yet, haha! I need help! Or at least an ice pack to chill me out! Anyone else having a wedding at El Taj and/or using del Sol photographers? Tell me there's someone else out there with this combo that can burst into SQUEEEEEEEE with me!!

Congratulations! Mine is a same-sex wedding, as well. Dreams resort was the first place I really fell in love with, so I was crushed when they said they wouldn't perform a same-sex ceremony. I found an amazing place in Playa del Carmen that I'm even happier with, so while I don't have any suggestions for you in Cabo, I offer my support & confidence that you'll find an amazing venue! I had to research from afar, so it took me a while, but you have the wonderful benefit of being there in person, so I bet it will be a breeze. Can't wait to hear what you decide!