maridr2012

WTF was exactly my reaction too, lol. That one takes the cake of all nervy things I've heard to date. He might've well just said, as an engagement gift to u, I'm going to give u 30lbs of weight, stretch marks, potentially hemorrhoids, sleepless nights, make u push out a baby, and then I'll take it from u. Lol. It's true, weddings have a certain effect on people. It makes those that are already a little bit off go bat *ish crazy.

So a new scenario popped up that I just couldn't believe. I write this with the risk of having it read by one of my future in-laws...but at this point I'm so pissed I don't even care. A couple of days ago my FI got a text message from his 13 yr old god-daughter, who also happens to be his cousin, asking if he would pay for her trip to our wedding b/c her parent's couldn't afford it - they'd only be going themselves without any kids. Honestly, it was heartbreaking b/c I know how much she loves him and he cares for her as well...but what was unnerving is that we don't think she thought of texting him on her own...her parents put her up to it. And truth be told, if we could afford paying her trip we absolutely would, but we can't! Not to mention that I have 10 nieces and nephews of my own of which NONE are going b/c their parents (my siblings) can't afford to take them. I certainly can't afford to pay for any of them, so why would we be paying for this girl? She's as sweet as pie, adorable but really...they put her up to this because they figured he'd feel guilty about it and would probably cave and just say yes. Everyone has known we were having a destination wedding for well over a year (since our engagement in March 2011, our wedding isn't until Nov 2012), so there's been AMPLE time to save if they wanted her to go. My FI let her down gently and told her we couldn't afford it because we're trying very hard to even just pay for the wedding and cant take on any more expenses. No biggie...right? Well, yesterday I walked in on my FI yelling into the phone at his mother. I quietly listened and didnt ask questions because he was so upset I didn't want to fire him up any further. But from what I gathered of the conversation, the girl's father (who is FI's uncle) proceeded to call my FMIL to apparently complain b/c we aren't paying for his daughter's trip. Now my FMIL calls my FI to tell him about this, and kind of hint that we really should pay b/c it's his god-daughter and the dad is too tactful to come right out and ask us. LOL. I mean...c'mon! But clearly, in their minds, it was tactful to have the 13-yr old text us instead, right? I stayed quiet the entire time and didn't say one word because I've learned to stay completely out of any issues that come up on his family's side. I have to say I was surprised at how angry FI was over the whole situation. I don't know if he was angrier that he was being put up to this by his uncle, or more that his own mother would now bring up the subject again and sounds like try to guilt him into it. This weekend we will probably be seeing the entire family for Easter dinner and I plan on promptly excusing myself from the table if the topic comes up. I can't believe the audacity of these people, I know if I stay at the table I'll end up going off on them so I'll just avoid the whole topic. I know one thing for sure, I absolutely will put my foot down on paying for ANYONE. The only people I would agree to pay for is our parents and that's not an issue at all.

I do have another question actually regarding HDC...did they do any finishing touches/edits on the pics? And how did you guys go about selecting which pictures you wanted? Or did they just give u guys a CD with all of the pics and u then took them to a photo print shop back home to do finishing/touches etc? All these questions keep swirling in my head about photos, because it just seems like that's the one thing you'll have after 20 years from the wedding..pics. Have you started sending out Thank You cards or Wedding Announcements (for those who werent able to attend or werent invited) with printed pics? Who are you using for that?

Im so glad to hear your daughter's AHR went well and you were still happier with PPC's reception in comparison. I'm also very happy to hear that you were thrilled with HDC's photography. I am doing a deposit for photography and videography with them next week. My FI wants me to hire Arrecife for pre-wedding pics/rehearsal dinner which I think is just silly...but I'm going to let him have a look at their photos and then compare to HDCs. I think that should settle the matter, lol.

Hi Justine. Oh...I feel your pain - the bridesmaid dilemna! I went thru it too, actually I think most of us go thru it. I'll give you a bit of my background story to put it in perspective for you. I am an only daughter to my parents so I have no sisters at all (only 1 sis in law and she told me she couldn't be a bridesmaid before I even asked so it worked out well). I have 10+ female first cousins but I'm not close enough with any of them now to ask them to be in the bridal party. I have a handful of close friends, and there were only 2 that I knew right away I'd want to ask. They are 2 of my oldest friends who I have ALOT of history with - over 15 yrs each so they're truly my BFFs. One of them is preggo with her 2nd child, and I know she has her hands full but we both knew it wouldn't be the same if she werent in it..so she's my matron of honor. Now...my FI has 2 sisters, both of who I like alot. The one I relate to more has an 8 yr old who is going to be our ringbearer. Since I didn't want a big bridal party, I figured I'd have a total of 3: my 2 girlfriends, and only 1 of his sisters - the one without children who I also like but just dont relate to as much. I got asked my FI what he thought of me asking only 1 of his sisters, and he didnt get upset but made it clear that his family would have a shit-fit over it and it would cause alot of hurt feelings. I already kinda knew this but wanted to hear his perspective which confirmed my suspicion. At the end of the day...I decided to have BOTH of his sisters and I ended up with 4 bridesmaids. Not what I wanted...but I also didnt want to start off on the wrong foot in what will be my new extended family. To me, it just wasn't worth it. Now, regarding ushers...hahah...thats a whole different story. My FI felt the need to ask every single guy he could think of, lol! He has a total of 7 guys. My only ask of him was since I was having BOTH his sisters, than it would only be fair he have at least 2 guys from my side. I have 3 brothers, but I think only 1 of them is realistically going. So, the compromise was he would have that brother, and 1 of my best guy friends. Done deal. And you know what? Having an uneven # of attendants is really common now...I've seen it at several weddings recently and its not big deal. The bridesmaids usually have fun walking back up the aisle being escorted by more than 1 guy! Enjoy your wedding planning girl. Have fun with it...do whatever it is you want. It's YOUR day. Don't feel obligated to have someone in your wedding party if you do not feel a close connection with them or don't think they will be able to fully support you and be engaged in the planning activities...even if you were a bridesmaid for them at one point. People change, they grow apart, and that is just fine! Best of luck!

Have any of the PPC brides customized a wedding cake? I have a wedding cake included in my package and I think the standard flavors are vanilla or chocolate; but I'd love to do a filling of rasberry or passion fruit or maybe even mango, something to keep with the tropical venue. Any thoughts/ideas/feedback?

OK...so I'm not sure this may not be the right forum to post this in, but I figure I'd post anyway to vent this out. Today I had to attend a conference where my employer had invited several external consultants and agencies we do business with to present to the audience. When I arrived to the venue, I got in the elevator and a woman in her mid to late 30's got in the elevator along with a man who was apparently a colleague of hers. I immediately knew they were also attending the conference I was attending and they were one of the advertising agencies that were invited to speak. They were talking about a series of interviews she had conducted to fill a position within her team. She was telling her colleague, the man, that she decided to hire a guy that she hoped would work out well, and she didn't make an offer to another candidate, a young woman after weighing the pros and cons of each candidate. Her colleague asked her why exactly she didnt hire the young woman. Her response, "Well, she had everything that I was looking for - smart as a whip, has successfully launched high profile campaigns, ivy league education, great referrals, the works. But...she's engaged and is getting married at the end of this year, so I know she is so preoccupied with planning a wedding that I can't trust giving her my projects". UGH. Imagine the look I had on my face, my jaw hit the floor. It took everything in me to not turn around and let her have it. I mean...really....she passed up an EXCELLENT candidate just because the girl was planning a wedding?!?! There was no mention of her asking around and learning the candidate had let things fall thru cracks or failed at anything because she was too busy planning her wedding and was distracted. NOTHING. She didn't hire her simply because she had a pre-conceived notion that the candidate wouldn't do a good job because she's planning her wedding. How dis-heartening!!!!

So interesting to see all of our professional careers & backgrounds on here! I'm a supply chain planner for a large consumer goods company.

Well after several arguments with my FI on this very topic I finally decided that I'll take his last name but will make my middle name into my maiden name. I guess it works out okay since I never had a middle name anyway. But somehow I just cant imagine having his last name which is Polish. I'm Dominican, and don't look the least bit Polish. And...I'm dreading the thought of my parents and relatives butchering what will be my new last name! They can barely speak English...I can only imagine how they'll pronounce it!

I was told by my brother a few days ago that I was having a "bourgeoise beach wedding". He said it with a half-assed chuckle, but I know he meant it and is pissed because he has to spend money to go to the wedding. On one hand I do understand his financial woes: he has 4 small kids and an ex who he still financially supports. But...that's not MY problem. The thing is, I'm spending a fraction of what it would cost to have a full blown traditional wedding over here. Oh well. I'm getting really good at the art of a good eye roll. Starchild is right, if you have a small inexpensive wedding you'll be called a cheapskate...so whatever. Do whatever makes you and your fiancee happy!

Wait, dont dresses typically take like 5 months to come in? I ordered mine a few weeks ago and am not expecting to hear anything from the shop until August. Am I off in my timing?

LOL....ewww I can imagine what kind of sound....squish...squish..squish... haha.

The shoes I love are a D'Orsay style...anyone have experience with this style of shoe?

All these shoes look so beautiful! I found 2 pairs of beautiful Badgley Mischka's I loved on a website and they're on sale. The problem is they are both peep-toe pumps without a strap. I showed them to the owner of the shop where I bought my dress, and she told me I really should get shoes with an ankle strap for support. But..I'm just not finding anything I really like! For you ladies that have purchased pumps without a strap - how did they feel? Honestly I can't see myself wearing them the entire night anyway, prob just the ceremony, pics, and first dance and I'll change into platform flipflops afterwards. But I certainly don't want to fall!

For any brides that were married at PPC, did you hire the Caribbean Trio? I'd like to hire them for the cocktail hour, in lieu of hiring a full band for the reception (we're just doing a dj). Can anyone provide a review on the trio?

I got a new one today.... "How come you're not inviting so and so, and so and so, and this or that person"? This, alll from a mere aquaintance. I might lose it one day and drop kick someone. So, if you girls don't see any posts from me for a while then you'll know what happened. LOL.

I love all these song choices fellow brides! I keep thinking I want to pick something modern, or unique. But everytime I hear Canon D I get butterflies in my tummy. Thats how I know it's the only choice for me, I have to walk down to that. Anything else wouldn't make me feel like the bride walking down to marry the man of her dreams! Good luck to you all with your song search!

Great song choices ladies! I cant get "As" by Stevie Wonder for our first dance song. I love the lyrics, and it starts out slowly, but turns into a faster beat for dancing. In 2nd running is "By Your Side" by Sade. Another wonderful song.

LOL! I feel your pain. Hence the reason why I started it. I was pretty pissed on Sunday night after dodging bullets (questions) all weekend. Good luck!

LOL Sheena2011, yes I can def tell you hate that question. I hate it too. And yes! I've gotten the question on how much did my ring cost! I always have to stop myself from barking at the person, but usually just glare at them instead and mutter, "I don't know, I felt it was rude to ask my fiancee". But that's the truth, I've never even asked him how much he spent! I can imagine approximately how much but would never dream to ask him! So they think I would share that info with them? I mean c'mon!

LOL, I'm glad it made you laugh. It is pretty funny, even I can find the humor in it after I walk away. I too experienced the questions from friends/family at large gatherings on when we'd be getting engaged. This would always end up making me feel like crap, even though I'd pretend it was as if they were asking me what day of the week it was. Mind you, we were together for over 5 years before he finally asked, and clearly I was at my wit's end about the whole thing and was not feeling good about the situation! Why would anyone think it's okay to ask that?! UGH. I sometimes wonder if the folks who mention getting an invitation seriously think they will be getting one, or are they just saying it just for the heck of saying it. I've kinda rehearsed this line, "Oh..we are having a destination wedding with only our immediate families and a handful of childhood friends or very close relatives. We will try to plan something for our extended family and friends later on down the road". I know we aren't. But that seems to appease them.

Beabride: Sorry to hear you're experiencing this! Aahhh...the angst of wedding planning. We almost all deal with it. My FMIL wanted to invite several of her friends and we had to put our foot down and just tell her they would be on a "B" list, so if enough "A" listers declined, then we could invite "B" listers. It's a hard-nose approach to it, but at the end of the day, we are paying for the wedding ourselves, with no financial contribution from either of our parents so I guess that's a benefit to us in this case. For the record, we did invite 2 or 3 of her close friends so we didn't completely disregard her friends. Now my dad wants to invite his relatives that live in DR, which is where we are getting married. These are people that I have NEVER met, and frankly I don't care to have them there - it'll be awkward for me, my FH, and my in-laws (even more so given a language barrier issue). In both cases, my dad, and his mom, we just explained it's not a matter of cost, it's a matter of space constraints. Some folks may have their feelings hurt, but at the end of the day, this day is supposed to be about YOU and your FH, and the people who you both wanted to be surrounded by....not what others dictate. So, if your FH's dad invited people without consulting you first, than unfortunately, he should take it upon himself to un-invite them. Don't feel bad about it because you didn't do anything wrong here. You've been planning accordingly all along and can't make last minute changes just to accommodate this. Good luck!

Hi all. I don't think I've seen a thread on this topic, so I thought I'd start one to see if other brides are experiencing what I have been since FI and I got engaged...or if I'm just being overly-sensitive? It seems from the MINUTE we got engaged, alot of people feel the need or think it's okay to ask all kinds of annoying and rude questions. Questions that I would never dream of asking myself, and frankly I find to be nosy and kinda ballsy! Below are some examples of questions I've been fielding from some relatives, friends, and even aquaintances, and the responses that I scream in my head. I always answer back very politely because sometimes they do mean well, but it's just so unnerving especially coming from certain people! Q: When are you having babies? Will you try to come back with a "honeymoon baby"? A: Why are you so interested in us having babies? Will you be the one taking care of them, paying childcare, getting me back into shape? Is it because I'm 31 yrs old, and decided to start my career, unlike you that got married (or sometimes not) and had 2 kids by 23? Really? Because I'm not interested in that yet. But I'll happily let you know when it happens to secure babysitting services from you. Q: How much are you paying for your wedding? A: Alot of $. But less than I'd be paying if we would have a traditional wedding here. But why do you ask, would you like to contribute? Otherwise, it's none of your business. We'd love for you to attend and share in our happiness (if you're even invited). Q: How big exactly is the diamond on your engagement ring? Did you want a bigger rock? A: Ummm...what...is 1.7 carats not big enough?! Jeez...it's bigger than yours! Q: I'm being invited, right? (This usually comes from someone who we have no intentions of inviting). A: Umm...no, you're not being invited. What makes you think you'd be invited? Did you invite us to yours? Did you even congratulate us on our engagement, even with a simple phone call or email? Do you just want to have free drinks and dinner on our penny? No. You're not invited, sorry. Q: How much did your gown cost you? Do you have a picture? (this one always comes from the frenemies) A: Probably more than yours. And no, I'm not showing you a picture. Why would I show you my dress? Where's the element of surprise? These are just a few off the top of my head. Feel free to add...I have tons more but am curious to see if some of you are dealing with this?

Ladies: I'm struggling with deciding whether I want to do a veil or just go with a tropical flower in my hair. My dress is a mermaid style with loose ruffles at bottom, and sweetheart neckline - very little beading. I think I've finally come to a compromise with myself - haha. I'll do a fingertip length veil for the ceremony which will have crystals on it that match a few crystals on the dress (very little), and for the reception, I'll put in a colorful tropical flower in my hair for a more festive look. My FI is a bit more traditional than I am so I know he'll want to see the veil for the ceremony. Elissae: maybe u can do the same and have the best of both worlds?

This dress is beautiful on you! I love the fit and flair mermaid style, you have the figure to pull it off gorgeously. I be the back looks great too, I wouldnt even think to put a corset back on it - just because I have no imagination, lol. But I bet it balances the traditional look of the front of the dress and adds that extra sexiness of corset in the back. Perfect! I put a deposit on my own dress, and keep thinking what if I made the wrong choice. But, everytime I think about how I felt in the dress I ended up going with, I once again am re-assured. I can't wait for it to actually come in and all the pieces start to really come together!