Ok here are my two cents: I've attended a range of showers from very large (catered) to very small (hosts/BMs/family made food). The ones I've been too are usually hosted by family, and the bridesmaids have pitched in but usually to help with making food or organizing games. The bachelorettes have usually been hosted by the BMs. Destination weddings are costly for guests/wedding parties so if you can alleviate some of the pain, it might help - if your girls are already expecting to host/pay for it and don't mind than you probably have nothing to worry about... maybe ask them if they've talked about a shower at all? I personally didn't want a shower but my BMs are insisting on having a shower for me, which is really very sweet of them, so I've suggested low key and maybe suggesting guests bring wine for our cellar versus other gifts. We already live together and have everything we need! But we love our wine I also agree with Sllefbvr, accepting the role of bridesmaids means sharing the fun in planning the wedding but also taking on some expense (dresses, parties, travel, etc...) so leave it up to the girls to worry about planning your parties! Good luck