I agree that you have to have a united front, and giving it a few days to cool off is definitely not a bad idea. I also agree that usually the way you approach something determines how it will play out, though I add the word 'usually'. Some people are just so automatically defensive that it does not matter how you come to them with something, they are still going to fly off at you. Unfortunate, but true. However, this is usually due to a guilty conscience! Even if his family is like that, remind yourself that it is likely because they feel like something (or a lot of things) in their behaviour has given them reason to be defensive, and that, by remaining strong but polite and calm, you are being the better person. I would also remind them about the money your family has paid, and ask that, if they want you to postpone, that they personally refund your entire family's money. Least they could do, after all. If they say no, then you get to go do what you guys want anyway. If they say yes, then I would be curious to see where the money comes from that they were oh so concerned about. But yes, the most important thing is to get on the same page with your FI; does he want the same wedding you guys do? Honestly, have you ever thought of eloping? I know I did when drama ensued with me... Good luck, and hope all is well with you. I know we will all be hoping for the best!