Aphrodite

So you're also a 11/11/11 fan! lol We were going to do the AHR but decided against it. Too much stress and my dad wanted to pay for it and I didn't want him to...so we just cancelled it! If you need any help with anything, message me - I don't always respond right away but I'll definitely respond!

Actually I don't really have a ton left to do! All we really had left was to get her husband to get his tux pants and figure out if they were going or not lol. I have another dress fitting at the alterations place next month - all the BM dresses are good to go. Sent everything I needed to send to the WC in already...now we pretty much just have to wait until we get there to figure out the rest!! Even with all this bull...I'm super excited!

Thank you everyone so much for your support I really appreciate it. I was second guessing myself as to whether or not I was being unfair to her or actually being self-centered as she told me a few times in a few emails. I know none of you know me personally and I'm really not trying to toot my own horn - I know I can be a b.itch in some circumstances, but everything to do with our wedding I have been pretty laid back about. I don't even get upset if people tell me they can't make it - we wanted it small regardless. I know not everyone can make the financial committment. But I do expect that when you accept being in someone's bridal party back in DECEMBER that you would make every effort possible to come. I get that her husband's ulcer rupturing is probably stressing her out - but, as I told her on the weekend, she has to look at the positives like the fact that he didn't need to have surgery for it. Thanks again for everyone's opinions and views on this really touchy and ridiculous subject...

Funny you should mention that.... All my close friends and my MOH have said the same thing. Just so flippant about it all. She didn't seem to even care (before all this happened) about whether or not they were still coming...seemed to make no effort to figure it out. I get her husband got sick, but the least she could have said was to completely count them out so I didn't have to wait for them to make a last minute decision. I think they can't afford it and she was waiting for an opportunity like this to start a fight with me (she knows how to press buttons) so I would kick her out.... I had even asked that if her husband had to do tests during the week of our wedding and he couldn't come, would she still be coming to support me since she's my bridesmaid...she had responded that she didn't even think about it and the next day she let me know she was getting her deposit back for sure.

I should also mention that I did say to her that I understood being concerned about his health as my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer in January (on top of the rest of the cancer she has in her body) and although she is remission for the brain cancer, she is still dealing with the rest of it. So there's a possibility that my own mother might not be able to come last minute - I had offered to cancel our destination wedding when she was diagnosed with the brain cancer but she insisted that we didn't cancel so it would give her something to look forward to and work towards. When I mentioned this she responded with: "You knew your mom would most likely not be able to come - that was your choice. "

Thanks for taking the time to read all of that lol I think my biggest issue is that she kept talking like I shouldn't be talking about my wedding while her husband is sick - I didn't talk about it at all while he was in the hospital because I genuinely was just concerned about him. Now he's home and everything has gone back to normal (or as normal as possible - I think he's not allowed to work until next week) so yes, I would ask her in an email something about the wedding and also ask about her husband...she's my BRIDESMAID and we are 2 MONTHS AWAY from the wedding. Am I supposed to not talk to her about it anymore?? That's what I don't understand - does that really make me self-centered for thinking I could ask her questions re: my wedding?

I don't know what section this should be in and I'm sorry in advance if this is long-winded. I have a friend and her and her husband are in our bridal party. On September 7th her husband went to the hospital (dinner timeish) because his ulcer ruptured. His ulcer that he refused to take care of, ANYWAYS lol... We leave for our Punta Cana wedding on November 6th. Back in February I told everyone who was in our group rate (including them) that the date we had to make our full and final payments was September 7th. I even followed-up with everyone in August to remind them. So needless to say, they didn't pay it (why they waited until the last day is beyond me anyways and considering the timelines they wouldn't have made it in to pay that day regardless if he went to the hopsital). So the next day I borrowed a car from my dad's car dealership so I could drive about 40 minutes (if there's no traffic) in rush hour to the hospital to see him. I spent 4 hours there while she went home to eat and shower and what not. He asked me there (I never brought up anything wedding related) what will happen to their deposits and I said they would probably lose them but not to worry as I would talk to my cousin (our travel agent) and see if we can work something out. I ended up getting their deposits back and a couple of days later I told the wife that I was able to get them back and she just had to call my cousin to arrange something as to how they were getting it back. As a side note, the husband's tux for our wedding had been ready at the store for about a month and I had been asking them if they were going to pick it up/pay for it as the store said since it wasn't paid for they were going to return it...nothing was ever done about that. The hospital kept him for 3 days for observation in case the medication they gave him wasn't working and they needed to operate - they sent him home after the 3 days obviously not needing the operation. So then the converstations started with him not being able to go (according to his wife). Not because of his health per se but mainly because he has tests coming up and they might be during that week (I would think you could tell them that you were planning on travelling that week and they would work around it - but maybe I'm wrong). So over the last few days I would ask her for updates on her husband and tell her that I hoped everything was okay and he was in my thoughts in prayers. I also tried talking to her about how she can get her deposit and she wouldn't answer me - this is the same person who thought the deposit was going to be refunded to MY credit card at first and emailed me right away to say "As soon as it is refunded on to your credit card, let me know so we can arrange a time to come get our money off you". So I told the travel agency that the money was never on my card to begin with so please cut them a cheque for them to go pick up, once I made that arrangement is when it felt like she was ignoring my emails/text messages/phone calls. Then every time I would ask her about the tux she would say things like "I don't know what he is doing about the tux anymore - why don't you ask him"...trouble is, I had been trying to contact him to even offer my credit card as a means to pay for it so they didn't send it back if he wasn't up to picking it up. So I figured she could help me since she is married to the guy. So finally I just told her that I honestly felt like she didn't care about my wedding because of her completel lack of interest in anything I would be asking her and get the tux, don't get it, whatever I don't care anymore. I didn't think I needed to hound a 34 year old in paying for a trip on time or picking up his tux - needless to say I was a little fed up and just frustrated. I had also apologized for being a bit short-fused about it but I was just frustrated since we are less than 2 months away and I have no idea what is going on with them. I also said I understand her husband's health is at the fore front of her mind but I also have to keep my plans going for the wedding and just need to know what is going on....I got this email back: "Let's be honest here...and lets not pretend you're all innocent and you do nothing wrong. Since you brought up the "lack of concern" topic....every single text/email you have sent me since [husband] was in the hospital was 'my wedding this and my wedding that oh and btw how is [husband] feeling?' You could have saved yourself the trouble of writing that last sentence. You're right, you shouldn't have to "hound" us to pay on time or get the tux. I certainly remember hounding [husband] to get that stuff done long time ago as well. As for the payment of the vacation, [husband] was packing up early that day so he COULD go and pay the deposit for your very special wedding - obviously this doesn't matter to you. I don't feel that I need to justify anything to you at this point but I will make the next few statements as a reminder to you. [husband] was over booked and working DAY and NIGHT to finish all his work for the last 2 MONTHS. I have also been extremely busy as mentioned to you in very many emails over the past few months and not to mention the lack of reply messages from me due to the fact that I've been so busy. Your wedding is important to your friends and especially to you too but my husband's health is absolutely more important to me - understand it if you'd like but my family comes first, to others it may come second. I appreciate you sharing how you feel." That followed with me kind of being like WTF where did that come from?? I said I was shocked at her response and attitude and just didn't know what to say...that followed by her telling her how disgusted she has been with my attitude in months (believe me when I say there has been no issues before this so I have no idea what she was talking about) and how self-centered I am.... So I lost it and told her I want her nowhere near me on my wedding day and to pretty much just not be there...she told me she will not be giving me the money back for her dress (I paid for her BM dress) because it was a gift so I shouldn't even ask for it back....then she said she would be happy to just give me the dress back. The next day: ME: "Hello, Hope you are well. Just wanted to let you know that you can drop my bridesmaid dress off at Flight Centre with my cousin or whomever is working there when you go to pick up your cheque. She is aware of it. I do hope everything ends up being okay with [husnbad]. Regardless of everything you said to me – he’s still in my thoughts and prayers. Take care. " HER: "I am NOT the one going to flight centre as I said I don't have time and will NOT make it there. " Regardless of everything you said to me" - what exactly is it that I said that offended you? Honesty is the best policy and if you can't take it DON'T ASK, stop trying to get the upper hand in this and don't manipulate words. As I said please do not contact me through email/text if you'd like to discuss this further." ----------------- I just need some advice I guess... Would you have kicked her out? Should I try to salvage the friendship? (I'm not sure I even want to do that - a few years ago we had stopped talking to them because my fiance's mother had died a few years earlier and he has no other family and he and this same girl were play fighting and he sprayed some water at her that got in her ear and she said, "Do you want to end up dead like the rest of your family?")...she obviously has verbal diarrhea. I just don't know...am I being crazy? Sorry again for the length - I'm just really looking for some guidance.

You have to check with your hotel. It's usually based on the amount of people. We are having a private reception at one of the a la carte restaurants at our hotel and I think it's for up to 30 people and I believe it cost us around $700. That doesn't include an "open bar". We opted not to have one because it is an all inclusive trip anyways, so I don't see why I should pay a couple hundred extra when my guests can just go grab drinks before we sit down for dinner and then drink afterwards.

Thanks ladies! cdc150 - Mori Lee made my BM dress. They were very reasonable...I think they were about $200. The colour is Tiffany Blue

This is one of my bridesmaids in her final fitting with the shoes I chose for them as well!

Sorry about the multi-posts...can't delete posts or edit them on here lol. My dress is actually busseled in these photos - there is a train on it when it's not.

Went for my first fitting at the alterations place this weekend... Apparently I lost weight because they have to take my dress in 2 inches around the waist, hips and thighs...it fit fine in April! lol Sorry about the crappy cell phone quality....and one is of me and my sister in her bridesmaid dress (her dress needs to be shortened).

I did my destination wedding website with www.theknot.com. If you want to take a look at what I included - just go to it...it's at the bottom of my signature.

My cousin's wife had this dress as well. Beautiful dress, great choice!

Great dress - my cousin's wife wore it as well and it was beautiful and very flattering!

I think you look great in the dress. Problem is that designers are starting to come out with new styles so then you start seeing other things you might like...just know that you picked this dress for a reason! As soon as you put it on again, you will remember how much you love your dress too

Maggie has beautiful DW dresses and at a great price!! Great choice

Woo hoo! Have an AMAZING TIME and I wish you all the happiness in the world Come back with pics!!

Great pics!

Beautiful dress! Wonderful choice! I love the different colour underneath. I think it will look great on the beach

And just as an FYI - I did the invitations myself. I bought the wedding invitation kit from Michaels - changed the ivory ribbon to blue and added the little jewel. Those kits are great! Came with invitations + envelopes, RSVPs + envelopes and Thank Yous + envelopes.

Thanks for the compliments! We were going back and forth with the idea as well. I just didn't want it to get confusing and people mixing up RSVP dates, etc. And again, we didn't want people to just disregard the DW all together either, you know? THAT is the important day to us because THAT is our wedding day, not our AHR. My RSVPs have to be in the last weekend of July from everyone. I think I'm not going to send out the invitations to the AHR until September (the AHR is in November - 2 weeks after our wedding). If anyone has any suggestions, let me know!

Here is my wedding invitation. I decided NOT to include anything about an at-home reception. Two reasons - 1) I thought it was going to start to get confusing especially since the AHR isn't until November either and things can change and 2) we didn't want people to automatically dismiss the idea of coming to the DW because they thought they could wait until the AHR. That may sound selfish of us but I just know how people can be about these things and my dream wedding is my DW not my AHR, you know?

I need your opinion ladies... I was trying to think of what to get my guests as wedding favours for our at home reception. I thought it would be nice to pick one of our pictures from the ceremony in Dominican (of just the two of us) and frame it and give that as our wedding favour. Someone told me it was tasteless because it was like rubbing it in their faces that they couldn't be there. I thought it would be the opposite - that they would be glad to have a memory from my ceremony since they couldn't be there. Thoughts?