Hey Ladies. I find myself in a similar position, but its my mother...not mother-in-law who has her own ideas about the reception. I have pulled back completely from sharing details with her for now (we still have lots of time to go) and politely told her that a whole other wedding back at home was neither in our budget NOR in our plans. I told her that the reception was on the back burner for now and that it would be a casual celebration. She seems to have backed off for now. I initially tried to explain to her our reasons for wanting a destination wedding, but that didnt work very well. She seems to have her own agenda, or feel that a wedding is mostly for the family. Shes even insinuated that we are doing what our friends want, but not our family. For me personally, its about a celebration of our commitment to each other. Others being there is just a bonus. I feel for you! Keep your chin up!