Yikes... Not the kind of thing you want to hear from your MOH (that she is dreading going to your wedding). I think that from the sounds of it you are a very level headed person! Most brides that would hear something like that would end up in a big fight with their MOH kick them out of their wedding and never speak to them again... It seems to me from reading this you are really trying to consider her feelings as well which is extremely nice of you considering it is your wedding and your down and out a MOH. I would def. try and reach out to her still since she is still a good friend and espically a friend of 24 years! wow! I like the idea you had of a speech it still gets her to your wedding and includes her as a speical part with out any financial obligations....I think you did the right thing and I think you will work things out! good luck!! Hope everything works out for the best!