fyi update on the FSIL from hell, well it did explode, I have been going through some issues medically, the least of which is diabetes, she noted publicly on fb that her mom told her I was ill but I should look at the silver lining, maybe having the diabetes will make me loose weight. Ladies I gained weight because of the steroids they gave me for Chemo, and I just couldnt stand still any more. But I did it with style and kinda Karma, I invited her ex husband and his much younger and nicer new wife to our engagement party. He has been a huge part of my FH's life and he has been ill that he is not supposed to be friends with him now after 20 years, I thought it was a lovely touch, and really I never thought she would attend anyway...dripping sarcasm here