schmizer

We are paying for our own wedding. Any gifts from our parents will be appreciated, but are not expected or being encouraged. My FI and I both have good jobs and the greatest gift we can ask for is their presence at our wedding. That's what matters to us. I am assuming that I will be paying for my own dress.

As I get older, the weddings I attend seem to get bigger and bigger, the last being over 400!! When reflecting on their wedding days, several of my friends said that they spent so much time at their receptions having to talk to estranged relatives and friends, that they didn't have the time to really enjoy their moment! Plus, I have a small family and never got to really have the "family vacation" experience growing up that my friends did. I want my wedding to be intimate, really fun and memorable. I want our union to be celebrated with our closest family and friends: the people that mean the most to us and impact our lives everyday. My fiance's family lives in Taiwan and it is actually more practical for us to have a wedding in a closer location than in the Midwest. Equal travel for everyone. These are the reasons why we are having a destination wedding. That is why we are choosing Maui. Although my friends and family are thrilled about our wedding choice, I find that I have to defend our choice to people or acquaintances that don't know us well. It has caused me to think alot about our decision and I am more sure now than ever that it is the right choice for us. Why are you having a destination wedding?

I will be changing my last name. I have really oldfashioned values and think that it is romantic and I know it is something my FI really wants... even though my new name will be kind of cartoony!!

No rehearsal dinner. I am thinking that we might have a brief walkthrough the day before just so everyone knows what is going on.

Our reception is a 10 minute drive from our resort where our ceremony will be. I debated this question as well, because most of our guests will have rental cars. I think we are going to bite the bullet and rent a bus. Our luau reception is bar included (unlimited) and I don't want my guests drinking and driving. It is really expensive though!

Most of our guests will be in Maui Monday through Sunday. We are doing an informal welcome party the first or second (more likely) night. The rest of the week, we will be doing non-hosted activities with guests that would like to participate. I will give our itinerary on our website and encourage guests to make reservations for the things that they really want to do (i.e. snorkel cruise, zipline, horseback ride down the volcano, surf lessons). At night we wanted to have more intimate dinners with select friends and family. Our group will be 25-30. No rehearsal dinner. We are going to have dinner with just our parents that night, I think. Wedding Ceremony on Saturday at 3:00. Reception: Luau at Feast at Lele Possible Farewell Brunch on Sunday... undecided yet. We wanted the guests that really wanted to spend time with us to have the opportunity to, but also to have the freedom to take time and enjoy their vacation if they wanted as well.

My FI is Taiwanese and in Chinese culture, money is the most widely given gift (in red envelopes for luck). Because we know we will be getting $$ from his side of the family, we are going to do a small registry somewhere. I originally was going to do no gifts, but when telling people that, they would respond that no gifts was not an option. Even though cash is greatly appreciated by us, because we have a ton of stuff already, I don't think I could ask for it outright.

My FI is very private and I know that he would be against it, but I think it would be very helpful for us. Recently, I got the "100 questions to ask before you get married book" and we have been discussing it in bed at night. A question or two a night. I think that is the closest thing I am going to get to counseling. The book has opened up alot of topics we haven't discussed before and is helping my FI talk about his feelings more. (He is the analytical one and I am the emotional one;)

I love kids, but not for our destination wedding. If we were having a traditional wedding at home I would feel differently, but I really want a very intimate atmosphere and alot of our activities will be adult themed. Your guests will understand. Booking an 'adults" only resort may help with that, but be prepared that some feelings may get hurt. I had a huge blowout with my mom a few weeks ago about something similar. She and my stepdad got a dog after I moved out of the house that has become their surrogate child. They literally take him everywhere. I was talking to my mom about the wedding last week and she mentioned that they were planning on taking the dog and I had to put my foot down. I mean, it's so unrealistic to take the dog to Hawaii. What is she going to do with it when we have activities or have to go places? To make a long story short, she got over it. She was angry at me for awhile, but when I explained to her what my vision was and why it was unrealistic, she calmed down. This is your day, and you can choose to make it whatever you want. Your guests will understand.

Did you buy sand or use sand from the beach at your destination?

We started an account just for our wedding fund, but I have a second savings that I am putting a little bit away in each paycheck. My FH and I want to have the wedding and honeymoon paid off before hand, so we are living frugally this next year. I totally get what you are saying about wanting to have the things you want that seem silly from a guy's perspective. The OOT bags were originally a point of contention for us. I hope to have about $3K in my savings by the wedding to account for things like that.

We are looking at more of an informal welcome party. Drinks and apps at the ourdoor bar at our resort. Most of my guests will be using this week as their vacation, so I didn't want to tie them down too much, but I also wanted to have the opportunity for everyone to mix and mingle early on. Almost all of our guests are staying Monday through Sunday. Because they won't arrive until early evening on Monday, we are looking at doing our welcome get together Tuesday night. If I don't get a chance to distribute OOT bags, this will be when I do it.

Really cute!

This is still on the table for us because my FI wants one. (Any excuse to throw a bash:) Most of our friends and family are coming to the wedding, so I am not sure it is needed, but it might be alot of fun.

I haven't decided yet. I am a light sleeper and don't adjust easily to sleeping in new places. I really don't want to spend the $$ to get another hotel room for the night before and know I will get no sleep if I bunk with my mom or BM's.

I think I am going to book a microlight tour on Kauai (honeymoon) as a surprise. My FH really wants to do it but can't justify spending the money. It will be that or a scuba adventure of some sort. I really wanted to give him an experience instead of something physical.

I am a total sucker for unique ceremonies. Thanks for the link. I have watched the "dance down the aisle" youtube video a million times. It just never gets old for me. I am still trying to figure out how to make our ceremony unique.

One of my BM's husbands has his birthday the week we are away. They are really excited bc they will be able to celebrate his birthday in a beautiful place. Since it doesn't fall directly on our wedding weekend (it's right after we arrive), I think we will just have a private dinner with the two of them that evening and pick it up and then let the guys go out and be guys afterward:)

I won't be doing a seating chart. One of the reasons we are doing a destination wedding is for a less formal and more relaxed atmosphere.

For those of you that are going directly to your honeymoon from your destination wedding... What are you doing with your dress? Taking it with you, sending it home, sending it back with one of your guests? I am still trying to figure out the logistics of it all! Thanks!

I will have to check with our resort. The duffel bag idea is a good one. I really want to surprise our guests at our location with the OOT bags instead of giving them to them here. I guess what we have to travel with will determine what we put in them!!

Just wanted to take a second to say hello. I am new to the forum and have just started planning our Maui wedding for 4.21.12 a few weeks ago! I stumbled across this forum and it has already been incredibly insightful! Looking forward to spending many long hours here!

Depends... they have really different feels to them. Do you have guests coming or is it just the two of you?

We are looking at public luau. Just so you know, most luaus will divide your group into parties of 8 and seat you at adjacent tables. If you can't fill a full table, they will seat strangers with your guests to fill the holes. We were looking at Old Lahaina and didn't book for this reason. Their sister luau, Feast at Lele, will seat your group together, but it is a different format. 5 course seated dinner instead of buffet and a little more expensive, but the food is much better and it is a better location. I have attended both of these on previous visits. We are looking at booking at Feast at Lele.

We looked at private locations for the ceremony that were beachfront, but settled on doing it at our resort which has a grassy area right off the beach so it will be in our background shots.