acw271011

I'm on the side of do what works for you. I have a sister as well and same deal - we're great as sisters but not great friends. I love her. She's my sister, but her life and mine are just miles apart. I debated asking her to be a BM but she and her husband were splitting up at the time so I didn't want to add any more pressure, and she was actually willing to go to Jamaica on her own. In the end, nobody went but she was at our AHR and it all worked out. There is always a way to make people feel needed even if it isn't in the "role" maybe that they think they should be in, and absolutely if your sister is an attention hog, it's probably not a good idea to have her up front with you. It sounds like you've found the perfect solution in giving her the tasks that you have, so I wouldn't worry any further. If necessary, you can just keep reassuring her that what she is doing for you is important to you and matters much more. No guilt needed!!!!!

I agree with you. It's so unfortunate when we lose friends. Life is short enough! But it's very true. Lives change and people change, and as much as we like the idea of "friends for life", most times it just does't turn out that way. I think you have a good attitude about it and again, I agree. I don't think she'll show up for any of the "events" and you should just follow her suggestion and not count on her at all. It would be entirely your choice whether to "replace" the bridesmaid position or not.

But how do you do the wedding stuff if you aren't already married? Or do you mean to get married at home first, have a reception then leave for your DW and get married again? Just call me dazed and confused......

oh my goodness! things really have changed! I'm very happy I'm not in this type of situation but I have a couple of strictly curiousity questions: how can you not know someone's plus one? do people really invite everyone to the DW? or does it only depend on whether you're having an AHR or not? If you're having an AHR, wouldn't you set people aside to be invited to that rather than the actual wedding if it's people you don't see very often, or friends of your parents that they want to invite? Sorry - I'm outta the loop on this stuff..... Just very surprised at some of what I'm reading.....

I think I said it before... lol but I'll say it again. I absolutely LOVE your flowers!! They turned out beautifully!!! Thanks so much for the DIY info! I'm going to look into it. Did you do the curls yourself, or did the florist help with that?

Etiquette has changed so much over the years I don't know that there are any hard and fast rules anymore. I would say that standard politeness is still the main concern. Destination weddings are so popular now too that you're into a whole different way of planning and working with family and guests. This is just my opinion but I would think you would invite whoever you want to your shower. If you're used to doing it a certain way within your family, then I would say go ahead and do it your usual way. It can be difficult when you're asking people to spend a fairly large sum of money to attend your wedding to determine if you should invite them to a shower. Having said that, the decision to attend your wedding is your guests personal choice and there is no pressure for them to attend particularly if your'e having an AHR. It does open options up to them. So I would say go ahead and invite them to your shower. Wedding gifts are a whole other story and I'm on the side of the ladies here that say give the attendee guests a break and say no gifts.

I've heard of it and they had something on tv about it. They're doing great things for a great cause! Did you actually order this? That price is amazing!

I bought the David's bag too. It worked just fine getting to and from Jamaica, with no issues at all. The material held up great, but I also didn't let it out of my sight!

That is just so cute!! I think it's a very special keepsake! I also wanted to say your flowers are absolutely gorgeous!!! Was it a local Cuban florist that did them? And your dress is stunning!! Care to share the deisgner? Congrats on your wedding!!!

I'm curious what venues you're looking at?? The RM is gorgeous. There are so many places that present themselves as options for a beautiful wedding! I'm hooked on Grand Coral Beach Club. I love that it's just a little more private. Plus we're a very, very small group - a max of 10 including the 2 of us and I just found the resorts with a group that small tend to shut you out and force you into dinner options that I just didn't like. Make the most of your site visit for sure! That's something I know more brides to be wish they were able to do. It will provide you with so much more info in a concrete way. Why not interview the WCs too? See how you feel with them. If they give you a good vibe and if you feel they're knowledgeable in what you're looking for. I'm working with a WC and so far I think she's been very helpful with suggestions and ideas. We're on hold for a few weeks until some other issues are out of the way but I'm hoping by November we can get going on everything for next year. Good luck. Be sure to provide your site visit feedback when you return. It's alwasy welcome informaiton to everyone here!

Just one question - is your resort charging you to end your reception at a certain time? Some resorts will charge if you go past say 10:30 or something and sometimes the charges can be quite high. That will be individual to your resort. I've seen a couple here that are being charged past 10:30 and others can go to 11:00 with no problem. Check into it and then you'll know when you can end your reception. Hey - if you can get it to go until midnight or later without extra costs, go for it. The longer you get to party the better. I like what you've laid out. But don't be afraid to take your time with your photos. Let yourselves work with your photographer for timing. Your pictures will be important to you in 20 odd years so make the best of the time you have and get your pictures done. Your guests will be fine!

Ok so definitely no sucking up. On a certain level, she has a point on something. You're both (I'll assume lol) over 40, and this kind of childish behaviour just doesn't do it for me. I just called a friend out on similar stuff, but nothing related to our plans. I hate the lame excuses. Don't BS me. You don't wanna hang around, say so. You don't wanna be friends, say so. Life is too short first of all to put up with it, to waste time on it and to waste time with people that don't want to hang around with you. It's very hard to let go of things. We try to think that we value our friends and treat them as such, but lives change. People change. Things are either solid enough to weather it, or they aren't. Does she also have someone else in her life? Could she really be more disappointed about not being your MOH than you realize? Sometimes being "relegated" to the role of BM when you think you should be MOH doesn't sit well with people. I think you've done all you can for the moment. She has given you the hints enough about replacing her I think. You're right - it is putting it back on you and making you the bad guy, but for some people that's how they justify it and get around it. She probably doesn't want to come right out and say "I don't want to be there" or "I don't want to go" so turning it around on you is the easy way out. I would say now just leave it alone. Plan on her not being there unfortunately, and yes, probably ending a friendship. But you said yourself that your lives are on different paths, and sometimes that's all it takes. If things do turn around, then deal with that if and when it comes but try not to lose any more sleep over it.

We paid $1500 3 years ago so finding someone that is of any quality for $500 for that amount of time? You could always just hand a family member a disposable camera and ask them to take photos. If you aren't worred about quality then you could even buy a new digital camera for less than $500 and hand that to a family member. But with everything I've researched and looked at for both Mexico now and Jamaica 3 years ago, $500 ??? Haven't seen it. And to be honest, Mexico prices are a whole lot better than Jamaica. Jamaica photographers can get even more expensive!

I agree with the other ladies on a registry when you're having a DW. I know you will have guests that aren't able to attend with you to your destination. Perhaps for them, with help, you could put a list together of possible gifts, just not through a registry. But as mentioned earlier, with people spending upwards of $1500 to $2000 I for one would be offended if someone was to expect me to get a registry gift on top of paying to attend. Most registry gifts aren't usually in the lower price range.

Just thought I would chip in here..... um @@Shipwrecked2015 is a groom. One of the few we have here unfortunately. It would be nice to see more of the guys!!! Trust is imperative, especially if you're dealing with a WC in another country! You need to be sure that they share the vision you're after and will follow through with it. If you doubt at all that it's not what you really want, find someone that you do trust. When you're paying someone money like that, you have to be certain the money will work in the way you want it to!! Good luck @@Shipwrecked2015 Just one question though..... have you set up things up with a travel agent yet? I would strongly recommend that first before anything else. Get you resort prices in line with where you want to be. As well, sometimes a TA has access to special group credits based on your numbers that can sometimes be applied to your wedding events. I'm going to use a wedding coordinator but because we have very odd circumstances and are looking for something very small so I'm definitely NOT saying don't use a WC but enlist your TA's help if possible first in case there are things that you'll have access to that may help with your planning. .

Congrats and welcome to the site! It's definitely different having a guy lurking around, but I'm a firm believer that guys should be involved in the wedding process too!! I think it's a good leadin to how you'll survive married life!!!! jk But you will find a ton of resources here that will help on your planning journey. Whatever you're thinking about and looking for, you'll find it somewhere on this site. Just do a search and it will come up in some way. Good luck and happy planning!

My experience has always been that the tax being refunded is only on goods that you're returning home with. As long as you're in the country, you're subject to the taxes as demanded by the state. I know when I go home to the UK, I can get VAT refunded but only on goods returning to Canada with me, not on activities that have been conducted while in the UK and even then it has to be over certain amounts and certain types of goods. I found this when I went searching: Question: What is the tourist tax refund and how do I get one? The Mexican government is in the process of instituting a program for reimbursing the tax on products foreign tourists purchase during their visit to Mexico. Read on to find out if you are eligible, and how to go about claiming the tax refund for tourists to Mexico. Answer: Eligibility for tax refund To be eligible for the tax refund, you must have spent at least 1200 pesos on Mexican goods - there's no refund for services, so hotel and food expenses do not apply - and you must return to your country by sea or air. Each receipt that you present must be for at least 1200 pesos (individual items may cost less, but the complete purchase at the store must be for at least that amount). If the purchase was paid for in cash, the refund will not surpass 3000 pesos. Purchases must be made in stores and establishments that are affiliated with the tax reimbursement program in order to qualify. Procedure for obtaining a refund To obtain the refund, on the day of your departure you must visit one of the tax refund kiosks located at certain airports throughout Mexico (see below), and hand in the reimbursement request form completely filled out, with banking information (name of bank and account number). You must present your passport, immigration form (such as a tourist card), plane ticket, purchase receipts, and bring along the goods purchased to be verified. You will receive 50% of the reimbursement (up to 10 000 pesos) in cash, and the other 50% will be refunded through electronic transfer to your bank account within 40 days. The companies which process the tax refunds charge a 35% fee of the total tax refund. Availability Tax refund kiosks are available at airports in the following destinations: Acapulco, Cancún, Cozumel, Guadalajara, Ixtapa, Los Cabos, Mexico City, Monterrey, and Puerto Vallarta. I also found this when I searched for info: http://www.tripadvisor.ca/ShowTopic-g150768-i6-k7209493-VAT_tax_refund_in_Mexico-Mexico.html Good luck!

I'm not sure it's entirely fair to the "important people speeches" to force them to interrupt their dinner to give a speech. By then their food is cold and that doesn't sit well with me. Why penalize them just because you're expecting them to get up and talk at your wedding? During dessert and coffee maybe, but you're also forcing people to stop eating, or socializing at their individual tables to listen to speeches! Don't think I'd count that as cool. The other thing I would caution is to have too much food at your cocktail time, then have everyone sit down to eat. Too much cocktail hour food and guests won't have room for dinner. Cocktail time is fine for small snacks, but not a huge abundance of food to turn around a half hour later to eat a full course dinner. Come on ladies.... lol don't you watch "Four Weddings"?? If not start watching. You can definitely get some good ideas in terms of timing and how you would like your own receptions to work.

oh wow. ladies I can so get on board with all of this!! @calgarybride2015 there are no words to say enough how impressed I am! congrats doesn't even cut it! absolutely fantastic!!! you must be so completely proud of yourself!!!! @@tygrrlily I hope the injury is healing and you're getting back on track!! that can be the worst part I think. I have arthritis in my back and exercise is supposed to be so good for arthritis but when you can hardly move some days, it's really tough to get motivated to move more when it just plain hurts!!! Getting older really does a number on your weight too. I never ever had a problem with my weight until I hit 40. Then major health issues and a hysterectomy compounded that, and now more surgery coming up, it's a never ending struggle. Now being waaaaaaaaaay OVER 40 it's even harder. I'm now down 10 lbs, with comfortably another 20 I would like to get rid of. My worry is maintaining it after. I'm like you @@tygrrlily - I absolutely LOVE food!!! And of course what tastes so absolutely delicious is all the stuff that you shouldn't eat!!! I know my life is now reduced to rubble because I actually look forward to our salads at night!!! Grant me patience...... lol

You both look so happy and the pictures are great! I love seeing things like this! Was it in Toronto? Thanks so much for sharing it all!!

Pro definitely. Hair and makeup for sure!

Congrats and welcome to the site! If you decide on a destination wedding, you'll find everything you need here in terms of planning advice!

Phoning in was what I was thinking too if people aren't comfortable with paperwork.

By the way, your pics are gorgeous and your dress is beautiful!!! And you're welcome!

So when is the big day then? We were just the two of us when we got married. Almost 3 years ago now.