clgriffi7

Rachel - January 27th!!!! I would be super excited and nervous too. Just remember what every Dreams Cancun bride says - your wedding will be perfect and don't stress because everything will get taken care of at your pre-wedding meeting. As for the fire drummer show, $1250 certainly seems a bit steep. Although every price I have seen for any fire performance on this forum has seemed outrageous. I hope you are able to work it out with her because that would be amazing for your guests and the pictures would be phenomenal.

I am in the same boat - I love sweets and that is what lets me know the meal is over, so without them I can just keep eating. I wanted to pass on a trick I have used in the past and have just started up again - buy a pack of hard candy (like Werthers or Creme Savers) and have one of those when you are craving desserts. They are about 20 - 25 cal each and can help satisfy that sweet tooth without busting the diet.

Oh - and in my situation I would make my fiance be the one to deal with his mother. I would deal with it if it were my mother, but he would have to deal with it if it were his mother. A mother will always love her son, so better her be momentarily upset with him than hold a grudge against you.

You need to have a serious talk with your FMIL. You could go the route of telling her that she will have to pay for the per head cost of each of the friends she invites, but that would ruin the intimate feel of the wedding to have HER friends their. Personally, I would tell her that those individuals are not on the guest list and are welcome to join her on her vacation, but that there will not be seats for them at either the ceremony or the reception and they will not be included in any other events for the invited guests (like a welcome cocktail hour/dinner, or excursion). This is her mess to clean up....

I think another large contributor to the acceptance of money-based registires (like a honeymoon registry) is due to the people getting married. In my case, my fiance and I aren't young kids getting married (I am 30 and he is 37) so we already have all of those items you would typically register for. In fact we each had our own homes and ended up donating a lot of duplicates to local charities. The average age of married couples is increasing, so this is bound to be a common occurrance. Then you factor in the number of 2nd marriages these days, where the bride and or groom also have all of the home necessities. I agree that it is interesting to read the posts on this forum and note the mix of traditional and non-traditional. I have to admit that I am one of those brides. For example: I will have my father walk me down the aisle, but the question "who gives this bride away?" will not be asked during the ceremony.

There are a few threads out there for Honeymoon Registries - and after reading them I think I will go with Honeyfund. Most of the registries charge ~7% fee. Honeyfund gives your friends/family the opportunity to claim a gift and either 1) give you a printout of what registry item they purchased with cash/check or 2) pay online (directly to you) using paypal. Paypal charges a fee of 2.9% + $0.30 per transaction.

Same here - we did a small magnet and then ordered postcards and their envelopes all from Vistaprint. We put additional wording on the post card that would not fit on the magnet. I used a glue dot to attach the magnet to the postcard and mailed them off with 1 stamp each. No problems with getting them delivered across the US.

I would definitely talk to him and let him know that you really appreciate the gesture. I would also tell him that it is his wedding as well and he should have one of his best friends there (or at least invite her - best case is she might find an excuse to not be there if she is really upset about the ship having sailed). I think it will be a great way to start your marraige that he was willing to leave her off the list for you and that you are willing to have her on the list for him. Now that you have made him aware of her inappropriate communication, I really think things will get better as he will not unintentionally give her hope.

I will also have my engagement ring on my right hand until after the wedding band is in place. There is wording that the officiant can say such that your fiance/husband places the wedding band and then moves the engagement ring as part of the ceremony. Here is a quote from the "Share your ceremony script" thread: "The engagement ring is a symbol of promise and intention. Now the intention is realized and the promise fulfilled. GROOM, please place the engagement ring on BRIDE’s finger over her wedding band to symbolize that the love that brought you together will always protect and sustain your marriage." I absolutely love this wording and will be adding it to my ceremony.

In my mind you need to decide whether this friend's wedding trumps the wedding you already have scheduled for the same day. Your friend chose this date and you really can't be upset with her - as you said: it is her day. However, she knew you wouldn't be available for that particular date (unless you decide to not go to the other wedding) when she booked the venue, so she is not allowed to give you any sort of grief if you can't be there. So I say take a deep breath and remember that it is her day. She chose that date knowing you are not available, so you should be happy for her and be involved in the pre-wedding festivities (bachelorette party and such) but don't let her make you feel guilty.

Less than 1 month to go!!! How scary and exciting at the same time. Best of luck with your gigantic to do list :-) Looks like you have a big group going at 63!

It would be helpful if you could post the size and length of the dress. Normally a bride will say the dress is size __, but I am a street size ___. Also, I am 5'__" and had it altered to fit me barefoot or wearing __ inch heels. Good luck selling the dress - I have always loved that one from Maggie! If I didn't already have another dress, I would be crossing my fingers we are the same size!

Where you have your reception is completely up to your personal preference (unless it rains of course). I want to have my reception on the beach, because that is what I think of when envision a destination wedding. But that obviously isn't for everyone - a lot of people choose the terrace because it is still outside but it is a little more protected and you have a solid surface to walk on.

So my secret stash is no longer a secret - but it is still my stash :-) My fiance was starting to really worry about paying for the wedding (we refuse to go into debt for this event) if all of his huge family were to book and show up for the wedding. (Dreams includes 20 ppl in their package price, but above that the price is either >$60pp w/o cocktail hour or >$90pp w/ cocktail hour.) In order to calm him down I pulled out my budget spreadsheet. (I am an engineer so everything has to be in a spreadsheet.) My spreadsheet included my secret stash money, but it also included all of those extras that I want. I am not sure if he even noticed though because he was fixated on how high the total cost was. He kept saying "I thought we could do it for so much less..." Of course when you add in the cost of the trip for the two of us ($3K), I put in a line item for a chartered catamaran for everyone ($1500, as I would really like to be able to do this for all of the guests), and an At Home Party ($3K) then the total does start to add up! The part that I kept trying to point out to him was that we would still have money left over in our wedding savings account when we were done - but he is a boy and he just kept staring at that one big number. Oh well. Because I am the one in this relationship that is better with money, he trusts me at least. He learned the following from a movie: "It is our marriage, but it is her wedding."

You said this happened at a chain store, I would try and let someone at the corporate level know what is going on at their stores. I would not contact them out of anger - but I would contact them with your story and say that the horrible customer service from the management of that store has caused them to lose your business. The company needs to know that they have employees out there making poor decisions. But after that I would let it go.

None of the guests we have invited have said that to my face, but I am sure some are thinking it. I have made a point of talking about how our package price (yes, "price" means $$) includes 20 guests, but that above that the resort is killing us per head. We have made sure to say this to explain why our first round of save the dates could only go out o family (my fiance's family is HUGE).

My dress will have been "trashed", so I will likely fold it up into one of the duffle bags I plan on using to bring my OOT bags to Mexico. I wouldn't mind asking a family member or friend to bring it back for me, but I would hate to make them carry it through the airport like I will have to.

Next year I am getting married Saturday Nov 5th, returning from Mexico on Thursday Nov 10th, and having our At Home Party Friday Nov 18th. We are having a party not a reception, so an exact guest count and seating charts will not be an issue for us - so we will give final numbers with a buffer before we leave for the wedding. I wanted to have our AHP prior to the Thanksgiving to Christmas stretch as it is just so hard to get people together during that time. And I didn't want to push the party out past the New Year because I wanted to celebrate our wedding while we are still newly weds. So I will be a busy bee for a while, but then get to relax for the holidays. We are taking our photogrpaher with us to Mexico, and I made sure he knew we wanted back at least some pictures in time for a slide show at the AHP. I don't think we will have a problem with that as he had a DVD with our engagement pictures ready in a little over 24 hours!

My resort also doesn't want me to ship anything - they do too many weddings to store boxes for multiple brides. My plan is to take the OOT items in luggage - BUT I plan on taking the items in large duffle bags. The items for my OOT bags will not be fragile, so no worries about breakage. The great thing about duffle bags is that after they are emptied they can either by flattened and put at the bottom of your rolling suit case (so you are paying a 1-way extra luggage fee only), or if cheap enough can just be left behind in your destination. Hope that is an idea that will work for other brides as well.

Ladies - I plan on doing a honeymoon registry only as I don't need anything and we are having an At Home Party after the wedding instead of a At Home Reception, so I think the number of gifts will be considerably less than for a tradional wedding. But I wanted to throw out an idea for those of you that are not aware: if you return an item on your Bed, Bath, & Beyond registry items then you get CASH. So you could register for items that you really don't have any need for and then return them for cash. Just a thought.

Based on the spa price list that I got from my travel agent, it doesn't appear that they do tanning. However there is the potential that the spa list is not complete. I was going to attach the price list here, but there was a box to check that I had the rights to distribute the attachment. I don't know if I have that right, so I will be safe and not post it. If anyone is interested in it, send me a PM.

I am sorry to hear your parents and uncle have chosen so poorly, but it is amazing that you are in such a good place about it. You were 100% right to do what you did and not invite the friends. Your parents should never have put that request on your shoulders - not even if you were getting married near home. I hope you have a wonderful wedding next week with NO DRAMA.

I think you should still put that info on your website - but maybe there is a way you can phrase it so your mother won't think you are telling your guests they are obligated to bring items for the staff. Instead of saying "It would be nice if you brought...." you could say "In my previous trips to Cuba I did x,y, & z and it was really appreciated by the staff". Hope that helps!

In your position, I would probably have my mother walk me down the aisle as that would prevent any of the men from getting upset. Then I would do the father/daughter dance with step-father. I would think the uncles would all understand not having as big of a part in the wedding if you were to explain the pedicament you are in (in terms of including them all), whereas your step-dad might get his feelings hurt. Just my opinion. Good luck with your decision. I think the biggest thing is to explain your dilema so that everyone understands you are being put in a tough spot.

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