We are not having an AHR because of the very same reason we are having a DW wedding. We know and are actively involved with tons of people, also FI's family is SUPER large. Even narrowing down those that we are "close" with, seemed to be a major pain and then adding the cost of 200+ people and weighing that against gifts etc.. it just simply wasn't worth it. We too have people saying "what are you going to do when you get home" our answer "Furnish the rest of our house." We sent out 150 STDs and Invites with a turnout of 50 people to date. For those people we will go all out in Mexico as they have truly sacrificed, planned etc to come and join us. For those that otherwise couldn't make it including the "I'm coming to y'all wedding" or the "I'm so excited I can't wait to come" but they surely didn't book.. why waste our time or money. We recognize those that couldn't make it for whatever reason and those persons simply said "I would love to come but I simply can't." We respect those persons solely because they were honest! But again, to have an AHR would truly go back to the tug and pull of "who are we inviting" and for us we said "if we give an AHR why have a DW in the first place" (That's our rationale.) To sum it up, we will send out a special thank you gift for those that attended the wedding and for those that otherwise couldn't make it 'we will send a thank you card (I have yet to figure out the wording) but this will card will have a link to our website so that they can view our wedding photos and share in our day that way.