karyan

ps I guess the only other thing I might add is that all the guest's loved their time in Hawaii, and it really is the only time I'll have all my friend's and family in one place. The great part of a DW is EVERYONE is on holiday, relaxed and up for a good time. I have never laughed so much in one week, and the unexpected bonus was my new Aussie friends/family got to meet my Canadian friends/family, and they are all connected now on FB, and comment on what each other are doing. In the end it's great to have everyone there for your special day, and it made the ceremony really hit home for me. I'm not religious so it was just a civil union, but it actually was wonderful to share all that with everyone....which is something I wasn't expecting! It made all the effort worth it, and hit home that I was marrying my sweetheart. Re hair: The only other (and LAST!) thing I'll say is really suss out what the typical weather is for where you are getting married. I didn't have a specific hairstyle in mind, and asked my hairdresser to make it "wind proof" as I heard it could be very windy on that side of the island. She did a great, simple up do, and they day was sooooooo calm up until 5 min before I walked down the aisle. My hair held up beautifully, and a hair moustache only should up in a few of my photos If people say it can get a "little windy" where you are getting married/having photos, listen to them. Do you really want to be fluffing about getting rid of your hair moustache in all the photos???

As Per Request I got married on October 5th, 2011 so am a bit late in posting......I think I needed this much time to fully think about things again! Please note that this is my personal opinion, and what my priorities were for the day. All I wanted was to look good, have the photos look good, and have a fun reception...... What I Would Do Again...... 1. I would make the effort to DIY again. The invitations took me a bloody long time to do, but I really loved them in the end, and so did the guests (the females anyways!). 2. The cake! Yes it is an expense, and yes no one eats it, but it's really nice to open your photo book and see a proper wedding cake there. I asked the restaurant to set up a "self serving" cake stand in order to eliminate the mandatory cake cutting fee, but also it meant that people had to make the effort to cut themselves a piece. Everyone was having a rocking time at the wedding that no one actually took any! We just took the cake back to the hotel, and the next night we met everyone at the pool and served up pristine wedding cake....it was delish!! We got a small two tier cake, so it was easy for 40 some people to finish it the next day. 3. OOT bags......I vowed not to do this, but a found some cheap, decent sized reusable eco-friendly bags for under $1. I also had a friend who was willing to screen print them at home for me as our wedding present. Since this minimized the OOT bag costs, I decided to do it. I really put a minimal amount in them as I just didn't see the need to spend money on small versions of sunscreen, crosswords..etc..etc. So all they had were a small cookie from a local Hawaiian company, a small chocolate bar, and a half page with the schedule of events, time and a google maps of how to get around the Kihei area. My husband photocopied and laminated these at work, so very minimal costs to us (other than time). To be honest, the guests loved them. 4. If you actually want people to dance......then get the DJ. Another expense but I wanted people to be up and dancing, and a good DJ gets the party going. He worked really well with our MC, played all the music I wanted, as well as read the crowd perfectly. Unless you have someone you trust to manage the ipod doc for you, it's worth the money to just hire a DJ. If you don't care about dancing, save the $$$ and just charge up your ipod. 5. Spend the money for the best hairdresser and make up artist in town. I can promise you I will never look as good as I did on my wedding day 6. The destination wedding in Hawaii. As most guests were coming from Australia or Canada Hawaii was a great middle ground. The islands are all beautiful, so all the guests got a holiday out of it and could Island hop if they wanted to. Neither of my grandmothers could make it (nor my husbands grandmother) so that was disappointing, but something we were willing to live with to have the wedding we wanted. 7. No videographer.....it ended up being such a windy day, and the venue wouldn't let us have microphones so it wouldn't have picked up any sound. Saved some $$ there! 8. The Welcome Drinks party. People got to mingle two and get to know each other by the pool BBQs.....also gave my family members a chance to catch up with each other. 9. Pick a venue that is a one stop shop......ceremony, beach photos and great reception all in one location. 10. The AHR...grudgingly I would do this again. We live in Australia, and due to financial reasons many members of my husband's family couldn't make it to Hawaii. So the AHR was for them, and then we included those to came to Hawaii as well as Aussie friends who didn't come, co-workers..and the list goes on. This party ended up being 120 people, and an extra $3000 BUT I got to wear the dress again and everyone loved seeing the professional photos (we had a slide show) and get a chance to be included. It was also the FINAL wedding event so I got to relax and have fun. 11. Get married to my husband....almost 4 months on and getting happier everyday What I Wouldn't Do Again...... 1. Plan as many group activities. In addition to Welcome Drinks, there was a golf activity, Ladies Lunch and a Luau. I would keep the WD and the Luau, but not bother with anything else. It just stressed me out too much and was extra stuff to plan when I really didn't have too. 2. Invite 200 people on the premise that "not everyone will come". Though this is true, we still ended up with 50 people attending the wedding, which meant I had to try and "mingle" with 50 people everyday for a week. It was hard work and a barely got any sleep the whole time (hence why you need the best that you can get for make up....she hid all the bags under my eyes!). 3. Be as on top of things as I was (i.e micro manage). I learned that you have to accept the fact that on the day, something will not go as planned and you just have to roll with it. The only thing I can suggest is chin up, walk away and let someone else deal with it. For me there was a hiccup at the start of the reception which involved 50-60 km/h wind, cocktails on the lawn being frantically moved inside, open windows, wind swept place cards....needless to say the restaurant staff were a bit frazzled. No amount of planning could have prevented this, and after a fantastic ceremony I was so disappointed with the start of the reception and how chaotic it seemed. Once the wait staff got their bearings, everything went smoothly again, and the dinner service was great. But lessoned learned, chin up and walk away! 4. Question the wedding planner as much. I did have a good one, and everything she suggested was spot on. I prob should have let her do more (see above about micro managing) but I perhaps didn't communicate with her as much as I should have....though I guess this goes both ways. I didn't know where her role ended and what things I had to initiate, so I ended up getting a bit frustrated. So all in all, there are more things I would do again than not do....I must have done something right!

I think I'm going to go with "I do I do I do I do I do" by Abba

Hi Lisa86, I haven't used Marbelle yet, but have booked them for our wedding in October. I was in touch with another bride on this forum who had used them a few months ago, and she highly reccommended them. She said she really liked them and were very prompt with mailing the cd and album. She also seemed to love her photos, which I found reassuring! I would be more then happy to message you after I use them, but I think they are pretty good. I haven't inquired about Kaua, but I'm sure they are fine too.

Hi, I'm just wondering what you did in the end? DJ Del was recommended to me, but he seems very expensive......any help would be welcomed!

So exciting! I have most of your vendors and am really looking forward to it now! Did you guys get a DJ for the Five Palms? We haven't chosen one yet as it seems a bit pricey....

Thanks for posting this Deetskc! Really makes me glad we are based in Kihei! We too are staying at the Aston Maui Hill, and the Old Lahaina Luau is our group luau choice.....you've just gotten me so excited to go there in October Thanks!

maybe something cute and fun, what about a mix cd of songs?....things from childhood up to current days? You could download the music and make a cute little cover for the case I like the pic idea too, very cute and memorable!

I have to agree with all of the above, you really have to think about this before you go and get married. Talking with a professional therapist sounds like an excellent idea, even if you just do it by yourself for a session or two. That way you can see if you can get to the root of what's bothering you the most, and figure out if it's just nerves or something deeper. Every relationship has it's ups and downs, but it's not fair to him or you to go through with the wedding if you truly don't feel it. I went to one wedding (they had been together for 6 years before getting married) and then 10 months later they were starting the divorce process. I don't know what truly went on, but I know it was the female who initiated the divorce, and that she just wasn't happy. I know the husband was blindsided by her true feelings, and 5 years later he is still very angry over how it ended. He was very happy with the relationship and didn't even know that anything was wrong. Both of them are lovely people, but I wonder if she had only brought up her issues before hand would that have saved the relationship, and/or saved him and her a lot of grief.

No prob! I thought it was a great idea, and would love for more people to discover it.

Hi All, While on the search for my wedding dress, I was introduced to a shop called "The Brides' Project". This is a shop that carries pre-loved dresses or donated dresses, where all the profits go to charity. Though I didn't find my dress there, I tried on quite a few of them and all the dresses were in top quality condition, and the staff very helpful. I tried on many big name dresses, some of which I had seen in magazines later on. If you are a Toronto (or surrounding area) bride on a budget, I HIGHLY recommend checking it out. They have lots of dresses in every size, and you might luck out and find your perfect dress for half the price. They also have shoes, veils, garters...etc all of which are so much more reasonably priced then a bridal shop. I bought a nice hair accessory there for $10, where the same thing would have cost $100 in a "real" shop. Google the name and you should come across the website. I also think there is one in the states. Happy hunting!

I am soooo happy there's a thread on this! Being eco friendly is very hard during the wedding process, and it great to see the ideas flowing. I'm trying to offset by using the website for most info, and only sending invites to those who are going (exceptions being grandmas and family). As tempted as I am by using Vistaprint, I'm actually trying to only by or use products that are made and produced in either Canada, Australia or Hawaii (trying to avoid the made in China thing). Also going the route of using eco OOT bags so that guests will use them for local shopping and when they get home, and trying to limit whats in the oot bag to be things that when tossed can be recycled. I've decided to go the real fruit centerpieces with flowers around them. I have bought some fake ones, but that's so that I can use them at the AHR as well as the wedding, and eventually they can be scrapbooked with the photos. The bulk of flowers used on the day will be seasonal local flowers from the local markets. The dress is the hardest thing I find to be eco friendly! Due to being a size 14 most vintage styles don't fit, and I'd like to avoid getting a cheap dress from China as I want to support local designers, but cost is also a consideration.....

Thanks guys! My MOH did the cartoons, and you can't be in hawaii and not celebrate Magnum PI style ;p

I'm having people from Canada and Australia fly in, but there are no Canadian destinations for HA. I would really like to use them tho. I'm going to try and organize a group discount when I head back to Canada.

too funny! To be honest it sounds like your friend was expecting the proposal too (I made a few assumptions myself before my FI finally proposed)....well, hopefully it will happen soon!

What a horror story!! It is so hard when you have a difficult sibling, and even worse when you're Mom pretends that their behaviour is acceptable. I have a similar relationship with my brother (thank god he's not a girl!) and I've just grown sick of trying so hard to make this relationship work. I've tried very hard to have a functioning brother/sister relationship with him, and whenever he acts like a jackass, my mom just says "oh, well that's just him" or "well, you're the mature one of the too, so it's your job to act appropriately". The latest with my family is I haven't been home for X-mas for 4 years (orig from Canada) and we were trying to have a family X-mas with my mom's side of the family so that my grandma (who's 89) could celebrate with everyone. My brother and his new wife (who no one has met and they have been married for 9 months) were planning to attend, but now he's not coming because he has a "DJing gig" on X-mas Eve.......seriously?!?!?! Anyhoo, your sitch is worse because I don't have to ask my bro to be the wedding party!!! The only advice I can give is that you have to accept the fact that your sister is dysfunctional emotionally, and until she gets her head together you will never have the relationship that you or your mom wants you guys to have. With her attitude she will gradually exclude herself from her family, and have to deal with the consequences when you're parents are no longer around. My bro has had a few moments of insight where he realizes that he's been an ass to the family, but they are few and far between. I also don't think he likes what he sees, and rather then deal with his issues, he just ignores them. Good luck with the scenario! You've given your sister the olive branch, and if she doesn't organize herself to be a bridesmaid, there's not much you can do.

So glad that you decided to stand your ground! It's your parents that are the selfish ones in not attending, and they will have to explain why they aren't at their child's wedding. Make sure you send them a lovely photo of you enjoying yourself with all your guests, and add "Had a perfect day! So glad we decided to go away for the wedding!"

aw boo! Men really just don't get it sometimes....my FI is kinda the same in the sense that I offered to do a legal ceremony in Australia so that his family (most can't come to the DW) could attend and then I could just do my name change and get any Aussie passport before heading over. But then his concern was "Well if we're just doing it here then why bother doing it in Hawaii??" *sigh* I don't care that much, but I do understand what he means. We're just going to do it for real in Hawaii

Thanks for the advice ladies! Will consider all my options

Hello! I have a sticky situation, where my biological father is not involved in my life nor is he invited to my wedding. I have 3 wonderful uncles in my life, as well as a very caring "step dad" who's been around since I've been 17 yrs old (I'm now 29). My problem is I don't know who to get to walk me down the aisle :S I'm not overly close with my step-dad, but he doesn't have any daughters and always tells me that I'm the daughter he never had......he will be crushed if I don't include him some way, but I really don't want him to walk me down the aisle (prob #1) Of my 3 uncles, all seem to be coming to the DW, and all would gladly step in to walk me down (prob #2). The problem is choosing.....I don't want to choose one and have the others upset about not being included. Of the 3 uncles, I have my biological dad's older brother, my mom's brother, and my aunt's (on my Dad's side) husband (uncle by marriage). I'm closer to the latter two uncles, but the most appropriate choice (to me) seems to be my dad's brother (who I'm very fond of, but not as close to). I realize I could walk down the aisle with my Mom (whom I'm very close too) but I'd prefer for it to be a male family member. I also have my brother but he's a big wanker so I'd rather go alone then with him!! (sad but true) I'm just wondering if there's any etiquette or if anyone has had a similar problem? One solution I came up with is: My mom's brother walks me down the aisle My uncle by marriage does a reading/MC's reception (he's an excellent speaker) My step-dad does father of the bride speech and/or father daughter dance (I think this is the best solution for my step-dad) But then another uncle is excluded...... bah! THIS IS TOO HARD!!!! Any advice/opinions totally welcome!!!

so lovely!

love the colours!

really like it! Simple and useful

I feel the exact same way! After seeing all the ideas here, I'm considering it, but I want to make sure I only include stuff my guests will use and that won't break my budget and the suitcase weight limit. I honestly think that a welcome letter and some local treats would suffice. I'm not even going to leave stuff in people's room, but hand it out when we have our welcome drinks. If I can find cheap bags I would get them as everyone would be staying in an apartment and will be shopping for food, but if they aren't $1 a bag, I ain't getting them

These are great ideas! I'd really like to do something that incorporates local produce and business!