Hey Jerzshortstuff,
I know exactly how you feel since I was in your position a few weeks ago. Its sometimes overwhelming with all the information .. this is what I did.
first find a resort that you really want to get married in. Second, Request for a wedding date that you want. The resort might even ask you about how many guests you're having and if they offer a wedding package, which one would you want.
Then the resort will get back to you whether if that date is available or not.
After that, you will need to confirm with the resort if you want to reserve that date. (my resort is giving me 3 months to confirm the date I requested. When I confirm, I should have a reservation set for that hotel as well. Each resort can be different on how they book weddings)
My suggestion is to find a travel agent that has experience with destination weddings and the location you want. I've been in constant contact with my TA, who will give me pricing any minute now on hotel rates and airfare. Once we get the rates, my TA will book our reservation with the hotel then I can confirm on the final date.
Hope this helps. =)