MDLady

I completely agree with the previous responses. We had the same dilemma and ended up choosing the location that we loved, even though it was more expensive. Some of our guests stayed at other hotels nearby and some stayed at our hotel. It wasn't a problem. Also, just because you choose a cheaper hotel, that doesn't mean that more people will come. Those on a tighter budget will not decide to come just because the rooms are $50 or even $100 less per night.

We didn't pay for any of our guests' travel expenses. I did pay for my bridal party hair/makeup and got gifts for everyone who was in our wedding (including parents). If I could afford to pay for everyone, I'm sure it would have been greatly appreciated but it would have turned into thousands upon thousands of dollars if you take airfare and hotel for multiple couples. I don't think anyone expects you to do so and if they do, I would make it very clear what YOU are paying for and what THEY are paying for so there is no confusion.

As Jennifer stated, my biggest stressor was dealing with my family. My parents+aunts+uncles were the ONLY ones who did NOT want a destination wedding!!! My in-laws and my husband's family and all of our friends were sooo excited but my family just could not let it go. They kept telling me that nobody will come and to have the wedding at home. I even started to look at venues at home and thankfully my husband gave me a good pep talk and reminded me that this is what WE want and that they will enjoy it once they are there. He was totally right and now my family keeps saying how we need to do a 1-year reunion. I wish that I didn't allow them to stress me out so much but it's hard when it's your immediate family who's giving you flack every day. Makes you question things.

That's one of the FUN things about a DW. You can make it as formal or informal as you wish!!! Ours was traditional but at the same time people were dressed comfortably and we had a blast.

Bahamas!!!!

My wedding was last May and I still love this site. It helped A LOT when I was planning and I really wish that I found the site much earlier in my planning process. So it's awesome that you still have a full year to plan. This website and the ladies here are AWESOME!!!

It is absolutely reasonable to give a deadline. You need to know who will be in your wedding party, especially if you are ordering shirts and gifts. That's really crappy that they are doing so but your fiance needs to get a commitment from them. This seems to be a very common problem with DWs, and understandably so considering the cost/time that it requires. I just think it's very rude to keep the bride&groom in limbo. I don't think it's rude to ask at all.

I didn't get my sister anything for throwing the bridal shower but now I wish I had. I did give her and my BMs a nice gift for being in our wedding party (jewelry) but I'm sure that she would have appreciated the gesture. A bottle of wine or champagne is always a good gift

That is PRICELESS haha. Love it.

Girl, you've gotta be kidding me asking if you are horrible to feel this way?!?!?!! She sounds like a nightmare friend and MOH. I can't stand people who make everything about them, especially when it's not THEIR wedding. I understand about being nice to people but don't be a doormat to those who are selfish and treat you like this!!!

Yes, you can definitely do that. Just FYI, many people will WANT to get you gifts, especially those who cannot attend the DW. I asked for no gifts at the bridal shower but everyone still brought gifts and those who were out of town shipped them to my house. But I did stress the point that since people are spending $$ traveling to our wedding, gifts are not necessary. But after I mentioned it, people kept asking so I ended up setting up a small registry (probably 40 items or so).

Absolutely!!!

I changed my name to my husbands but the main reason was because my name is difficult to spell and pronounce and his is very standard. And yes, the name changing process is a PAIN. I don't think just because I changed my name, I'm now my husband's property. Those are very outdated ideals but it makes it easier as a family. My Mom never changed her name and now we ALL have different names in my family (I have a sister who's married as well).

This dress is BEAUTIFUL!!!! So very classy and flattering on you. Sexy too!!! Great choice!

Gorgeous choices!!! Love how classy they are and all the sparkle

That sounds good. I got that question a LOT so it's a good idea to mention it. I emphasized many times that the wedding is ON the beach so do not wear heels. I had a relative that wore high heels and I felt bad for her but she was forewarned! As long as people know what to expect, it should be fine.

I wouldn't dream of telling my guests on HOW to wrap the presents! I agree, very rude. Just like at a baby shower, yes, it takes time but it's fun for the bride and it's about HER. For your friend who is pushing her ideas onto your wedding, you will need to put your foot down. Otherwise people like that tend to take over the process and make it about them. Do what YOU feel comfortable and happy doing. If she doesn't have the time/patience to sit through opening of the gifts, perhaps she could leave early. I think it's just so RUDE for people to tell a bride what she should do on HER wedding!!!!! Outrageous.

That's a LOT of stuff!!! How in the world will you transport it all? But everything looks great, I'm sure your guests will be very happy!

1 night stay per room is usually a required deposit. We had our guests put down their own 1 night deposit so we didn't have to do so for everyone. That way we knew who was serious about coming and who was not. But that wording looks pretty standard to me.

I've been to so many weddings that are all the SAME.. It's like you swap the bride/groom but the rest of the weddings are the same. It's so boring. I could never see myself as the bride whenever I was at those weddings and while I had fun, it was just SO NOT ME. My now husband is from South America so we had a perfect excuse to have a Caribbean wedding. It would have been very expensive and difficult for his family to come but they loved the Caribbean idea! My family was first put off by the idea but then they had a blast! My friends were super excited because it was a perfect excuse for them to go on vacation.

Totally agree!!! It beats a reception hall any day!!!

Oh and shoot, if someone was inviting me to their destination wedding and paying the airfare, I'd go to a stranger's wedding haha. Seriously.

Sorry to hear that this is happening. That really sucks. And yes, as others said, this is quite common. It's really crappy of these girls to avoid you or be non-committal. They probably feel bad and don't want to say no, but in the end, they are just stringing you along and making it more difficult for you to make plans. For your own sanity, I would assume that they are NOT coming if they are not committing, and in the end, if they do, that's a bonus. Otherwise you will be very disappointed and you will struggle with making plans with so much uncertainty. That's just my $0.02 on the issue. I had a bridesmaid who is one of my best friends drive me crazy for a while because she did not book her ticket until literally a month before the wedding. But she had her dress and then some drama was happening which stressed me out, but I figured that I will just go with the flow. She ended up coming alone w/o her bf but whatever. My husband's 2 cousins ended up not coming, one due to illness and the other due to a last minute work trip. It all worked out ok. I know that you are angry and hurt, but I would just take some time before confronting any of your friends. We as brides, get so emotional that it's easy to just fly off the handle (at least for me). If your friends are being crappy to you, just calmly explain to them why what they are doing is hurting your feelings and what you need from them.. Otherwise you will just create more stress and drama at a time when you should be so very excited. Good luck with everything

I had a few of those people on my list and I sent invites to them as a keepsake. I did let them know that I knew and understood their decision but wanted to send them an official invitation in case they wanted to keep it. But it's definitely not necessary.

We did the courthouse ceremony but it was literally 5 minutes. We did not exchange rings but had to repeat vows and sign the paperwork. It was pretty easy and was very quick. We did not want to make it into a wedding although the couple after us was dressed up with their whole families and I think they were having a whole ceremony there.. We went 2 weeks prior to our actual wedding but exchanged rings at the wedding ceremony on the islands.