I was dreading telling my dad about our decision to get married in Puerto Vallarta since most of his side of the family would not be able to afford it. Even after he offered to pay all the expenses for my grandma to go, she still refused! (And without even giving a reason except that "there are 48 states she can choose from to have a wedding.") While it sucks that a lot of people aren't going to be able to make it, no one has the right to say that having a DW is "selfish." I've never heard that eloping is selfish, and that includes even fewer people in your wedding! It's your day, and everyone else can deal with it. My cousin just had a DW in Cancun, and all my family that attended her wedding is really excited for ours! Trust me, once they see first-hand how beautiful, laid-back, fun, and intimate a DW really is, they'll take back anything bad they've ever said. In our situation, we decided to subsidize the trips for select people on my dad's side of the family (with the $$ we're getting as a wedding present from my dad), and we're not registering for gifts to try to cut back the expenses for our guests.