My FI parents contributed $5000+ to his brothers wedding and were planning on doing the same for ours. We told them that we didn't think that was fair for them to have to put that much money towards ours because they will have to pay for themselves, my FI 2 younger brothers, and may possibly have to help his other brother/wife because they may be short on money. They will definitely be spending more than $5000 just to pay for everyone. If they decide they have some extra money to contribute, then that will be fantastic, but we don't expect it by any means. I know it sucks, because it doesn't seem "fair", but look on the bright side...you will probably end up spending far less by having a DW versus a traditional wedding and it will last a week longer! Just remember why you are getting married in the first place...it's not about the wedding, but spending your lives together!