I am so sorry about this, it is so awful to have family act like this. But I would say do it your way, you will not regret it. Even if you can only afford to have you and FI fly somewhere and get married, it would still be better than some stiff-necked wedding that your parents want. It is your wedding, and not your parents and their friends, and I would tell them to take the 10,000 and throw a party for them and thier friends and they can have everything just the way they want it. lol I just think this is so horrible, and believe me you are not the one being ridiculous here, they are. They are making it all about them, and if you give in, then pretty soon your mom could be telling you what type of dress to wear too. Stick to your guns, you will not regret it!