Oh Melissa,
I can relate. But I decided not to worry about any more. Since we decided to have a destination wedding, I have been so stressed with the drama.
"Why are you having a destination wedding?" "No one will be able to attend." This is not fair to us." "This is way too expensive." And the comments go on!
So I decided to plan the wedding (order favors) based on the people that confirmed verbally. Which is about 30 people plus my brothers & their families.
These people took the time to call/write to share my joy. I feel that if any of those people can not make the wedding, it would be sincerely a financial or emergency issue.
Therefore my plans are to share the favors with them present or absence!