I think the idea of having a mutual friend or relative try to handle the BM is a good idea. Last week FI and I attended a wedding (there were two best men, my fi and an obnoxious childhood friend of the groom). Well needless to say the obnoxious one showed his colors at the wedding when it was time to give the speech, everything was going great, then it got long winded, then it began to get rude,he even went as far as to tell the mother and sister of the groom to both shut up (with clench teeth they were trying to cut his speech short), everyone was mortified. We kind of knew that he was obnoxious but everyone thought he would behave. Well he was slurring so much throughout his speech that my FI took the mic and said "Well we all thought the groom was the one who drinks out of nervousness seems like you did yourself in on behalf of the groom Todd old boy". There was a bit of nervous laughter and then my FI went on to give a wonderful speech about the groom which everyone praised him for after. The other BM was so bewildered when it all happened and the grooms father was able to divert his attention after my FI got the mic. I think having a person or persons there to keep him in check is good.....the music at the Oscars idea also sounds great!!!!!