Okay so my FI and I knew right away that we both wanted a DW. we are not spotlight kind of people and have been to so many traditional weddings around here that we knew we didn't want the "same old". So we get to work on it thinking that our parents may have a little problem with it having never been to one. We explain what the deal is - small DW and then a AHR and they seem okay with it. Then I find myself looking at banquet halls & hotels, researching caterers, talking about receiving lines & head tables and suddenly I am getting super stressed. I realize that even though the actual marriage is different, the rest of the wedding is going to be exactly the same once we get home - the typical Alberta hall reception that I didn't want to have. And $10000 for this AHR that is suddenly stressing me out!! So I sit down with FI and re-evaluate. Thanks to this forum I was able to learn that many couples do their AHR months later so even if we were to do the wedding in Nov like we want, we could still do a big bbq party at our home afterwards next July. Then we have more money to spend on making it an amazing wedding down south and inviting a few more people. And for less than half the orginal AHR budget we can throw an amazing party here at the farm with camping over night and a pancake breakfast in the morning. SO much more our style!!
But now onto the next stress factor... my parents were totally on board with the traditional reception and are proving very reluctant to support this new idea... I see much explaining in my future to get them to see it is what we want!