I firmly agree with most of the posts here! Please do what you feel is best for YOU! You already made it clear the type of wedding that you want so go forward with those plans. I don't know why your family member can't leave the country, please don't take this the wrong way, but that is not your problem. THis is your day and one that if your are blessed enough, will remember for the rest of your life. Don't try to please everyone around you because that is a feat that will NOT be accomplished. Plan the DW of your dreams!! Invite those family members that you want to be with you and for those that can't or won't attend plan an at home gathering for everyone. If cost is a problem. Plan a nice get together when the weather permits in a park or some other beautiful open/public/cheap space! Good luck with your decision!! I really hope you stick to your guns and plan the wedding where YOU and your FI really want it.