I agree you should include these concerns in your wish list to the resort. I'm going to a destination wedding in Thailand this January and there are only going to be 15 guests including the bride and groom. The reception is going to be a traditional one, there will be dinner, drinks, speeches, first dance and more dancing, cutting of the cake, garter and bouquet toss. I think that if it's important to you that you include these segments into your wedding then you should definitely do it. Just because it's a small wedding doesn't mean you can't have it all, and I'm sure you will have a lot of fun. Also what are all your options for location? If you have a reception outside in a more secluded area it won't make it feel like you are a small group in a large room.