Sorry to hear about your frustrations, but if you aren't having a connection to the dress and it's not something you see yourself in your wedding day that you're going to love to look at in all your pictures then you shouldn't settle for it. Of course maybe you won't find "the one", but you will find a dress that you love and if that means having it made for you then that's what you should do. I hope things go well for you and that you can find that special dress that has a connection for you within your budget!