Wow, it always amazes me that there are so many Bridezillas out there! Your friend was unbelievably awful, but I'm glad she recognized it later. I have also learned to be a better bride because of a horrible experience. You were way better a person than I am, as I was kicked out of my friends wedding party 2 months before her big day for wanting to celebrate my birthday instead of making it all about her. (Long Story!)
Its important to think about what you are asking of your wedding party. They are after all my closest friends and I want them to have a great time too! At least with a DW they are so excited to be getting a vacation out of it, they are willing to do whatever I need them too!