I'm with you darling. Over the last year or so I've learned a great deal.
For cooking, I started out with things that I would enjoy, baked goods. I have made some horrible banana breads, pies, added too much of this and not enought of this. I even made oatmeal raisin cookies and forgot to add the flour! lol. Once I mastered a couple of sweet treats I moved on to dinner. I now spend every Sunday trying something new. It doesn't always work out but it's edible none the less.
As for cleaning, I recommend Vim. That is my go to, do all, cleaner of choice. Smells good, doesn't require a lot of muscle power, and makes everything sparkle.