*kellis*

I love the 2nd(or technically 3rd) one on you, it is an incredible dress, the color is perfect, and you look absolutely stunning in it. I know you must be stressed out of your mind and believe me I know it's frustrating to feel like you can't make up your mind especially when you have to redo your wedding to have it at home. I would follow your gut feeling that you want something a little more "formal" since you aren't doing the beach thing(same here) and just be thankful that you can wear an incredible dress like that and not worry about the humidity or sand or anything. By the way, don't know if you're dealing with this but...a more formal or traditional wedding instead of a DW does NOT mean it's now going to be boring or unoriginal. I mean, c'mon look how much attitude and style you have in that Maggie!

Quote: Originally Posted by keilag I met him on Sunday!!!! He had an event for brides in the town I live in. I gor there early and sat in the front row. He answered my questions and was soooo nice Lucky! I would love to meet him.

Is anyone else hooked on watching his shows? I know this should probably be in the celebrity section but I'm actually really curious as to how much he charges as a wedding planner. I watched 4 episodes of My Fair Wedding today and just can't believe the things that he does. And my mom has his book and has watched his shows for years and we were just speculating about how amazing it would be to work with him. It would be my dream to so much as meet him much less have him plan our wedding. Oh well, if nothing else, watching him work has convinced me to hire a wedding coordinator even if I have to get a second part time job to cover the extra cost. Enough people have told me it is more than worth the money. I'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts.

Quote: Originally Posted by alkoch Good Luck with everything, I hate how people get so crazy about weddings they forget what and who its about. Good luck and hopefully everything will work out!! But..I also like the eloping idea! lol then just have a reception! Okay...so maybe I'm completely nuts about this but, one of the biggest reasons why we haven't eloped yet(besides not having a few people we're really close to be there) is because I would really love to have a reception and Idk, I've always thought that people that elope don't really "deserve" to have a reception. Like you chose to take off and do the wedding for just you two, having a reception just feels like asking for presents for the wedding you didn't bother to have for everyone. Sounds dumb when I type it out.

Quote: Originally Posted by bholthof I confess that I resent my friends for being single. Not because I want to be single or anything - as if! - but because they make me feel guilty about being in a loving, committed relationship, when they are alone. So I feel as though I can't talk about the wedding with them, and if it does come up, all they do is bitch and moan about how they plan on being completely hammered the entire time, because they "hate weddings." Personally, I think its just because they are miserable because they haven't found anyone worthwhile who doesn't have an STD or is already married with children old enough to be her siblings, while he is old enough to be her father. I also confess that I have a lower opinion of my friend after getting involved with the old married guy. Who was also her first. Geez, life is complicated. I completely understand this one. When we got engaged, 3 of my 4 closest friends were either single or in very unhappy relationships(staying together because they have a kid) and I felt like I couldn't talk to them about it because it was almost like I shouldn't be happy, like my joy was causing them more pain. But then I realized that if they were the great friends I thought they were, they would be happy for me. It has taken a couple of them to come around(and for some it just took them starting to date someone) but you know what? When their turn comes, they will be just as excited as you are and suddenly they'll understand that they weren't as supportive as they should have been. I know that's not helpful right this second but eventually they'll understand. And as much as we want everyone to be as excited about our wedding as we are, people have their own issues to work out and some can't see past their own pain. By the way, a lot of single or somewhat single people that have friends getting married feel like the bride will feel like she's better then them because she has found "the one" and they haven't. While I don't think you should have to walk on eggshells around your friends, I just try to be really sensitive that when I am giving a friend my honest opinion about a guy she's with, I try to keep it from sounding too condescending, even if that's not how I meant it. Just a thought since I'm sure your friend dating someone like that older guy is really hard for you to deal with as a friend if you don't think it's good for her. Sorry...apparently I'm very talkative this morning.

Thanks. I've realized that I've been trying so hard to not make my dad feel like he's just there to write the checks(if you can't tell there is a long history of guilt trips and family politics concerning money) that I'm letting him turn this into a bigger affair than FI and I want it to be. We're pretty laid back and my dad is all about appearances, it's not meshing very well. This is not an isolated incident, the wedding is just bringing out so many issues concerning my relationship with my dad and even my step mom(looong story won't go into that here) and the wedding is just going to require me to finally put my foot down and show them that money does not equal control and power in my life as it does theirs. FI has been really good in all this supporting me, I guess it's better he gets to see how crazy and dysfunctional the family he's marrying into is now instead of after. lol.

I'm very sorry I'm sure this is going to be long but I need a vent. As some of you know, my wedding planning(if you can call it that considering NOTHING has gotten done yet) has been a roller coaster. FI and I got engaged in June and we still don't have anything set in stone. This is all fine and dandy if I hadn't wanted to start planning five months ago, trying to set a date and changing it twice, changing possible locations at least 3 times before finally just deciding that having a DW would not really be possible if we wanted even our closest family and friends there. So now we have found an incredible resort right here at home. We are in love with this place. I have gotten so excited about planning our wedding here and we have finally been able to reserve a date and get the contract details hammered out. But once again, we've hit a wall. I have gotten us numerous discounts and perks for us and our guests considering that we are having our wedding during the wedding "off season" in Arizona. Now at the risk of being taken the wrong way, my family is paying for most of the wedding. I'm the first to get married and the oldest granddaughter in the family. FI and I both come from large blended families and we have been blessed with generous families who want to contribute to the wedding. That said, my dad has kind of taken over when it comes to the wedding and while I can't really deny his reasoning that he is the one financing the largest portion, it's still really frustrating that everything depends on him(which is also one of the reasons things have gotten changed so many times already). So I finally get my father to come into town last weekend and to see the resort himself, everything seems to be going great until we start talking about the contract. First he doesn't like that FI and I have decided to not have an open bar(there are many closet alcoholics in my family and having them hovering around the bar all night doesn't appeal to me, plus a large enough part of our guests are either children, highly conservative, or underage, I just don't see the point). Next he starts hashing out who is paying for what, which is completely expected except that he doesn't want to tell me how much he would like to contribute. He wants to know what FI and I were looking at paying for and what my mom and stepdad are pitching in and then acts like what is left is too much. Okay...help me out here a little. Then he tells me that he wants to pay for all of it up front and says that he wants to try to get a discount since we would be paying for it all in one day. That's just great but um, some of the family can't just fork over all that money right this minute. That's what deposits are for. And here's the kicker, after waiting two weeks for the resort to finally get the updated contract to me, then waiting a week for my dad to come into town on business because he wanted to talk about all this in person, our deadline to have the deposit down is now only 2 days away. I hear back from him as a text today and he says he has a conference call with the catering manager we've been working with tomorrow morning. I ask if I can listen in on that conference call and he never answers, doesn't answer any calls either. I have a feeling the contract is going to change again and I'm going to have no say in it. Whose wedding is this?? It all comes down to just letting him try to get his way, if we haven't gotten this huge mess straightened out by then they can give away our date and we're back to square one. My mom has been so amazing(she knows how he can be) and has said that if it comes down to it, her and my stapdad will put down the deposit but then god knows how offended my dad will be that I didn't let him handle it. I can't win. I feel like all my momentum and excited just fizzled out. I'm stressed and exhausted from stuff going on in life and work and now I'm discouraged when it comes to our wedding too. I've been trying to get other things done but FI doesn't want to do anything because he says our date isn't set yet. I think FI and I may be back at the point of saying that if the date isn't set and planning hasn't gone forward by December, we're eloping. At this point it sounds really nice. Thank you for reading this, it's nice to have you ladies to let it all out to.

Quote: Originally Posted by Scubadiva Thanks ladies. SO far its working out. We went to the venue today and actually saw the venue set up as a ceremony/reception and it looked great. We no longer will have a DW theme it will be more classy/modern. Our colors are ocean blues (since the BMs dresses are ordered) and blacks. I just notified our BMs and GMs and the ones that could make the cruise are excited to be in the actually ceremony now. This will be great because we will have more family and friends surrounding us on our special day! I'm sorry you had to change your plans. I'm in the same boat. But I'm glad that I'm not the only one that has had to roll with the punches. Stay excited and don't get discouraged to have to be starting over with themes and everything. I'm sure your wedding will be even more amazing then you originally planned. And on the plus side, we'll be saving money and get to see more people we care about be able to make it to our special day:) Lucky you, the honeymoon is already taken care of! I definitely envy you that

Welcome! I have been to Maui a few times and it is incredible, I would have loved to get married there. Kapalua is beautiful, I've seen a couple weddings in that area and they have just looked so amazing. Definitely check that out.

If the deadline is set at November 30th to get our orders in, when would payment be due?

I am so lucky to have the sweetest FMIL ever. Since I met her when FI and I started dating she has been so amazing to me and always has nice things to say to FI about me and I am so incredibly thankful for that. Especially with hearing what all you ladies have had to go through. My story however, is about my stepmother, who up until a couple years ago has always been great to me and just recently have things just gotten progressively worse(interestingly enough, the older my half sister gets, the more she seems to resent my brother and I and the worse our relationship has gotten, but that is another story). Since FI and I got engaged though, she has become so incredibly ridiculous. First, over my birthday weekend we were in CA scouting sites for our DW. Our first dinner there, right after she had first met FI, she brings up that she doesn't understand what our rush is, why we would possibly want to get married so young. I can give her the benefit of the doubt, I had been engaged before years ago to the guy I dated in highschool and I could just assume she's looking out for me. And she chose to do the career and then family thing, not getting married til her mid 30s, that's fine for her but not what I chose for myself. But then she comes out with this zinger...she says, "Well I just hope that you two are not planning on having kids for a long time because we've been thinking recently about if we want to have a second child and it would just be wrong if you were to have kids while I am, I'm too young to be a grandma." Excuse me? Since then it has been so much family politic drama and I just know that the majority of my dad's issues with the date/time/place of the wedding etc. are because of things she is saying to him. It's not my fault that she waited so long to have children and married someone older than her with kids already. It's like she doesn't think it's fair that I get to be in my 20s and getting married while she's 40-something and having an identity crisis. Sorry, just needed to vent I guess.

I will say yes because I work in a restaurant and sometimes I would really love to just shove people's food in their face when they're acting like complete a-holes. Wait, did I just admit that? Would you ever have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party? I can't see myself doing it, I'm just wondering the reasoning behind it. Doesn't that kinda defeat the purpose?

I don't have the mood option at all under my name. Private messages is the bottom of that area. I don't think I ever have either because I've never been able to change it I just figured it was something I got after I was new anymore.

I watched Glee for the first time a couple weeks ago because my brother's best friend in highschool is playing one of the football players. He doesn't have a huge part or anything but I saw the one with the "single ladies" dance and I think half of just the hilarity of the show(it's just different I think that's why I find it funny) and the football guys dancing just made me want to watch all the rest of the episodes I've missed. I completely can't understand what's going on with the guy's wife though. And now she's trying to "help out" the girl that just found out she's pregnant? I guess I just have to wait and see.

Tell her that you want her to enjoy herself, it's a vacation for her too. I understand your frustration, but try to keep in mind that she's got the best intentions, whether to save you money or the stress of finding a photographer. This is the same reason I am hiring a day of wedding coordinator. If I didn't, my mom being mrs. organization and volunteer event planner for family/church/school, would be running around taking care of everything, which I would love her for, but I want her to enjoy her daughter's wedding without stressing about vendors being there on time.

I absolutely love 3, and I agree with all the other ladies, I did not see anything at your stomach and after I read your concerns about it, I tried to see what you were talking about and nope, that dress does not do anything bad to your midsection, you look amazing. But its not about how the dress LOOKS. Its about how you feel in the dress. And I think 2 is also beautiful on you. That dress falls in all the right places on you and I love the bottom of the dress, it's so unique. So if 2 is your favorite and you feel the best in it, that is your answer. Don't listen to anyone else. As a side note, my dress fits me perfectly and I'm not exactly weight conscious but I still plan on wearing Spanx because I want everything to flow and I just feel better not thinking anything might be jiggling around when I'm doing the electric slide at our reception

aw I wish I could do something like this for my girls but I kind of already asked them. Cute idea though for sure:)

Quote: Originally Posted by future_mrs2010 Is this an AI resort? Personally I do not think you need a welcome dinner. I mean if you need to cut costs. Start with the welcome dinner and follow by excursions. I think it is great idea to a do a excursion all together but people also dont want you planning their vacation for them and it is a great way to cut costs. Instead do a volleyball tournament or something fun that involves everyone and not a lot of money aka budget breaker. I would also do one or other a sfor favors or OOT bags. They dont need both really. JMO! good luck I agree, if you are worried about breaking the budget, cut out the extras that don't involve the actual wedding FIRST then if you need to, you can start making changes to the wedding. While it would be great to have an excursion and all that, if I was going to a DW, I would in no way expect the couple to pay for me to go on the excursion. So that's an easy way to save money there. Doesn't mean to not go, but just paying for your and FI's ticket for that is gonna be a heck of alot cheaper then paying for everyone. Also, a favor AND OOT bag is overkill if you are trying to keep costs down. No one will even notice if you only do one or the other. And while I love the idea of OOT bags, doing them for 150 people is not only costly, I can't imagine how much time will have to be spent on assemblying them and how much you'll have to pay to bring all that stuff down there for you. Even 50 is alot to me.

Okay and does the discount apply to only as many of the same color are ordered? Because I love some of the print ones but I would just order solid color ones if thats what everyone else was getting.

So how much are we expecting them to be? Does the percentage discount keep going down the more we order(the prices on the website only show the discount for 60). And when will the payment be due?

Quote: Originally Posted by SSNM No, they shouldn't, and it sucks. But to that end, shall a bridegroom go bankrupt to save face? It is one thing if the money is there, but if it really isn't, what can you do? I am sure this is not the first time a bridegroom set out to plan a wedding and then found out down the road that the cost was way more than they bargained for. That pretty much happened to me when planning a local wedding and there is no way in 9 hells would've gone in debt to save face. Fortunately, I didn't send out invitations, but I did tell everyone that plans were on hold while I re-assess my options and thus how I came to start planning a DW. Sometimes, sh*t happens and we have to roll with the punches. No one should put themselves in huge debt for a wedding. I'm of the opinion that if you have limited funds, it is better to have a small wedding that is affordable and save that money for something for your life together, such as buying a house. But at this point its not about saving face. Her "A" list was this big, these are the people they couldn't not invite, so they should be thrilled that so many of these special people want to spend their day with them. And sure, they may have to rearrange some things, plans may have to be tweaked some from what they had wanted in the first place. Like having a cocktail reception after the wedding then a private dinner(which I have seen with a couple married in Maui and it looked so incredibly romantic) then getting together for dancing somewhere after. Or even doing the wedding earlier in the day so that a dinner is not expected. They have a lot of options that don't require offending and hurting people that they care about enough to put on the "A" list. I don't know about the rest of the brides on this forum but I have had to rearrange and compromise many times in the process of planning the wedding and I haven't even gotten down to the details. It may have not been your first choice to do things a way that would be affordable while still allowing everyone to come, but in the end you may have a better time and your wedding could be more incredible because of it.

Its hard trying to estimate the reality of how many people you invite compared to how many will come and a DW makes it harder. But to be safe you should always expect that more people will come than less. We have a venue that can accommodate 150 comfortably, and while we don't plan on that many people being there, I definitely wouldn't choose anything much smaller if I plan on inviting 75-100 people. But since you already went ahead and sent out STD's, cutting off the booking would be like rescinding invitations for half the people you invited. Not to sound harsh but your guests shouldn't suffer for a lack of foresight on your end.

I don't think LET is the right word but, he knows how I feel about him going anywhere near strippers and he actually has pretty rigid views of what constitutes cheating so I don't think I have to worry about telling what he can or can't do. Sometimes I still worry about what his groomsmen will do for his bachelor party but FI has already told them no strip clubs(on his own, not influenced by me) so I know I can trust him. Would you ever send back a wedding gift you got in the mail if you weren't inviting that person to your wedding(for a good reason)?

I don't think LET is the right word but, he knows how I feel about him going anywhere near strippers and he actually has pretty rigid views of what constitutes cheating so I don't think I have to worry about telling what he can or can't do. Sometimes I still worry about what his groomsmen will do for his bachelor party but FI has already told them no strip clubs(on his own, not influenced by me) so I know I can trust him. Would you ever send back a wedding gift you got in the mail if you weren't inviting that person to your wedding(for a good reason)?

I confess that it was extremely awkward to see my fiance and ex-fiance working together yesterday to help a friend of mine move. I'm ok friends with my ex now but its still weird to see them getting along. And joking together about my mom being hot*eye roll* I guess that's what I get for asking FI to give my ex a chance and not be paranoid that he's always trying to win me back.