*kellis*

Quote: Originally Posted by gossip girl Wow that is so awkward and weird!!! I don't even know what to say except since they are moving anyway, you could approach her and say "hey biatch, I got this shower invite in the mail but I never received an invitation to your wedding. Am I invited? Or are you just the most awkward tacky person out there?" Ok that would be my response but should that not be your style, maybe in a different way just be upfront about it and ask if you are invited! Clearly it's weird cause time has passed. But what do you really have to lose? The worst she says is sorry we're having a really small wedding blah blah blah and then you can just go ahead and RSVP "no" to the shower and take her off your invite list! It could be that she just overlooked it and figured you would just assume you were invited since you are roommates and have known each other awhile!! Haha, yeah I don't think I could actually go up to her and say that but it did make me laugh out loud, and now I'm getting strange looks from FI. And I thought about that, maybe she just assumed I would assume we were invited. But...I don't want it to be like I'm inviting myself if they hadn't invited us.

I just need to be able to vent on this. And find out if I am completely off in thinking that this is the weirdest way to plan a wedding ever. So, a little background, my FI and I live with roommates, one of which got engaged around the same time as we did. We aren't that terribly close but I've known her for quite awhile and have been roommates about a year. We all moved into this 3 bedroom apartment from a 3 br house(she started dating her FI around the same time) about 5 months ago and since then things have just gotten weird. I think we're all just too many people to be living in this apartment, her FI stays over practically every day and they keep to themselves but we get "notes" on the fridge once in awhile with little snide remarks about doing the dishes etc. Thinks have just soured and it's just weird now. So, when they first started planning their wedding, I offered to help and things were fine then and I just figured we would probably be invited to their wedding or at least their reception. I didn't assume, because (planning a small wedding ourselves I understand you can't invite everyone) but I just thought they probably would and I added them to our tentative guestlist, even though they will have moved to L.A. by the time of our wedding. They're wedding date is October 16th 2009, this year. And obviously they're planning it very quickly. But because we all aren't really at home at the same time, we don't really talk about wedding planning anymore. So I don't know if they have invitations sent etc. The last couple weeks I've just kinda resigned myself to the fact that we all aren't really happy living together(but it could be way worse) and that they probably weren't inviting us to their wedding, whatever, I'm not gonna cry about it. Now this is where it gets really weird. A month ago they made a Facebook group and invited people to join it and put their addresses on there so that they could get sent invitations. I thought this was just, odd considering it wasn't a completely private group so every one of their Facebook friends could see it on their pages but as far as I could tell they only invited some of their friends online(myself being one of them, even tho, um, we live with them so they obviously don't need our address). I thought this was strange but whatever, maybe they just don't realize how it could look to some people. A couple days ago, and every day since, my roommate's facebook status has been, "our RSVP site is finally up and working" with the link to it. I took a look at it and anyone could RSVP basically but there is no information on where or when(other than the date) the wedding is. Again, strange but maybe she doesn't realize that she is basically inviting anyone on her facebook to her wedding lol. So now I'm in a weird place. I don't know whether to RSVP for their wedding, if we are even invited. And if we don't go, will the next two months that we all live together still until our lease up be even worse? And then today I get invitation (in the mail)to her bridal shower at the end of this month. It's at her parent's house but I don't know if they are throwing it or if she is. All that's on there is the address to her parent's(without even saying it's her parent's home) the date of it, and that she is registered at target and bed, bath, and beyond. So do I need to go to that Because honestly, right now I don't really feel like inviting them to our wedding considering our friendship is really nothing more than just knowing each other so long and living in the same house. And I don't really feel like attending her bridal shower and buying her something when I don't even know if they have invited us to the wedding! Sorry, I just realized I've written a book. But I'm so confused. This is ridiculous. I have my own wedding to worry about.

That's so sad! I would be flipping out, your flowers getting there should be the last thing you think about with your wedding so close. It was nice for her to come on here and tell her side and what she was going to do to remedy the situation. But it's too bad she didn't follow through. In my limited experience buying and selling things online(and being a procrastinator), if someone is making THAT many excuses, there is a problem. Sure everyone has a hard time sometimes and shipping can be mixed up but it sounds like this happens more often then not.

Another confession(this gets addicting), I have 10 months until my wedding, and I really don't think I'm going to be able to keep the surprise of getting my FI a BD book for his wedding gift. I haven't even booked a photographer yet and I'm already so close to giving it away! I suck at surprises!

Quote: Originally Posted by NaM You should so read it, it's so funny. And it really makes you feel like someone else is going through the same thing! I know what you mean about things changing. I moved to Canada from NC in Janurary and I soo wish I had my close friends around for wedding planning. I won't even see my WP in their outfits until THE WEDDING!! This forum is seriously a life saver! Didn't think about that, I don't honestly know how I'm going to get them all outfits with everyone in different states and on different schedules. I wanted to get them all a dress that flattered their body, guess I'll just have to go shopping with them all individually lol. I am so thankful FI has taken over his and the GM's outfits. He's taking them all out to dinner next week to "talk about stuff" and make sure they're all commited after knowing what being a GM entails(which is so amazing because I have tried to plan stuff with his friend's before for his birthday, they aren't exactly the most...reliable...guys, then again, they're all in their 20s and single lol.) And he's going to clarify what is and isn't appropriate for the bachelor party(his idea completely, love when he does stuff that I'm thinking about but decide not to bother him with haha).

I love this idea. It would be great to keep after the wedding as a coffee table book. Especially with the great pictures in it. FI and I have been tossing around this idea for our guest "book". I always liked the picture idea where the guests sign the mat around the picture and then it's framed. But we are going to look into getting one of those wrapped canvas with a somewhat faint picture of us printed on it. Then our guests could sign that with paint pens. I love the way printed canvases look. If it turns out to be too expensive, I'm definitely going to try your idea.

I'm looking for a destination wedding specific budget too and tried doing a search but "budget" is just too commonly used on the site I think because I found tons but could narrow down something I could use. If anyone could point me in the right direction I would greatly appreciate it.

Quote: Originally Posted by NaM Have you guys read "diary of a mad bride"?? Funny book. Super easy and quick read. Anyway, the main character talks about having dreams about her exs in there so it sparked my memory. No I haven't but I might just have to go get that. I don't have many friends interested in wedding stuff accessible right now so this site and books about bride's are keeping me sane in all of this. Which makes me think of another confession. Sometimes I resent the fact that my best friend moved and is busy building a life in another state, my other bm's aren't really terribly close to me anymore(used to be but now one has a baby and the other is preoccupied with school), and my roommates don't wanna hang out anymore since the living situation has changed(my FI hates living with them, it makes things awkward and one of them is busy planning her own wedding). It's not like I expect everyone to drop everything and be completely psyched about my wedding. But I feel like I don't have the friend there to pour over bridal magazines and squeal about the proposal with. Some days I just think back to when I had a bunch of friends, sure they weren't the best for me but at least I always had someone to talk to. This is more of a vent than a confession. Sorry.

I confess that this morning I woke up and then tried so hard to go back to sleep because I was having a really really nice and somewhat romantic dream and I was enjoying it. Then later I realized it was about my ex. Oops. & in a weird way I've felt guilty about it all day.

I didn't see any other threads like this. So today we went and registered at Target. Tonight when I got home I went online and looked at our registry list. Only a few of the items have pictures, and most of them have some confusing description or just the item number. Some don't even have prices! How in the world are people supposed to know what is on the registry if they can't even understand what the items are? Online there is a small box for "item description" but does that mean the only way people could understand the registry is if I go back and explain what everything is?

JanJan84, are you serious? He really did that? The wedding would not be happening if that happened to me. Losing his job and feeling like "less of a man" is understandable, most of us have been in some sort of situation like that before, and I get that he felt like he could not provide for you the way he wanted to. But to take the money you DO have and go do something as ridiculous as that when he goes up there for a friend's birthday That's not trying to provide, that is taking things above and beyond feeling a little inadequate and just being completely careless about it. I don't mean to sound harsh with all this but seriously, that should be a HUGE red flag to you. Maybe you should not be asking yourself how you're going to come up with the money needed for the wedding, but what is really going on with your guy.

Everyone said it so well that I don't have too much more to add. But I wanted to ask, have you considered premarital counseling? You don't have to do it through a church if you aren't religious, there are psychology practices that do it. I was engaged before a couple years ago and going to a premarital class really brought out things that we each were feeling and issues we couldn't get past that just made it clear we didn't work. I'm not saying that will happen to you but if you feel like you try to talk about some of this stuff and his eyes glaze over, it might help to have someone else there facilitating the conversation. You don't have to wait until there is a relationship altering or ending issue to get counseling. And also, I know what is like to live somewhere having to deal with the past around every corner. It seems like everyone knows everyone and everyone takes a side and talks about other people behind their back and it's stupid high school drama that should have died a long time ago. And it is so hard to clear your mind and get past the hurt and issues of the past when you are constantly having to be in contact with people who pour salt in the wound and try to start something. Have you considered maybe moving or at the very least working somewhere else for a little while? Sometimes taking yourself out of the everyday situation helps everything to die down and people to move on. It's not running away. And while it is good to just live with what you've been dealt, you shouldn't have to live like that where you are putting up a false front, because that is not healthy for you and it is definitely not a healthy situation for you to be in. I wish you the best, if you are feeling this freaked out, you and your FI really need to be able to talk about it. Communication is huge, getting married isn't going to instantly make everything better.

I also just was introduced to Cava, by my FI who has working at a Spanish restaurant for awhile. Not really sure how to explain it but it's like a fruitier champagne. Amazing.

Glad you all share my perspective. My tattoos and my nose ring are a part of me, as much as a freckle. To see myself without them wouldn't feel right. So at least if my mother gives me a hard time about it I can say that I know a bunch of other brides who aren't covering theirs up

Quote: Originally Posted by Infinity22 Is that pretty typical for a lot of the bright coloring to come off with the scabbing? It shouldn't come off if you keep it moisturized. The only times I've seen that happen is when the person didn't keep it moisturized and it scabbed way worse then it should have, and when my FI had his friend who was a tattoo apprentice do a black tat on his back and I don't think he did it deep enough, which I hear is a common mistake for people just starting out. But now its all faded and has "holes" in the color. It bugs the heck out of me lol.

Here are mine! But before I post, can I get your opinion? So many people have told me(starting from when I was in my aunt's wedding at 13) to not get a tattoo that would show wearing your wedding dress, or to cover it up...etc. Am I the only one that doesn't want to cover mine up at all? Right now I only have one that would actually show but the thing is, I'm proud of my tattoos. It's not something I want to hide or cover up. Maybe its just the stigma of tattoos but I don't think it is "inappropriate" to show your tattoo at a wedding. Just my opinion. Anywho, here is mine. This is my four leaf clover tattoo. It was my first one. My family is Irish and I am very proud of that. Also it is my reminder of family, mine is different and spread out but we're very supportive of each other, when all else fails, family is all you have left. I don't ever want to forget that. I may add more to it later, we'll see. It's emerald green on my right shoulder. It was a cell phone pic from when I first got it so it's not very clear. This is my most recent, my star flower that I got in OR when I was helping my best friend/MOH move. We got tattoos together, she got a small nautical star on her foot, I got this on my right inner ankle. She has meant so much to me and this is such a crazy and exciting time in our lives and she was moving states away but we wanted something to remember what a difference we've made in each other's lives. It's black outlined, navy blue in the dark part(that looks black in the picture) and a coralish pink. I definitely want more but I have to spread them out financially lol. My next ones are Passion or Life Is Beautiful written on my wrist and something like this... On my side. My FI and I both love tattoos and want to get something for each other but not each other's names. So we're thinking one of two things. A antique keyhole for me maybe in a heart, and him with an antique skeleton key. Or... A butterfly for me(FI is an artist and is going to make it look like scrolls if that makes any sense) and a crow for him. Sounds strange but it's based off a Shinedown song that got us talking to each other because it was one of the first things we found we had in common and we listened to all the time when we started dating. They're so addicting!

I just checked, they are online and right now they have free shipping if you spend more than 50 bucks! Some days I love Target. Now I kinda wished FI wasn't insisting on wearing a tux

Quote: Originally Posted by autjo Thanks for the info! We have been running into a lot walls trying to find the right stuff for the guys to wear. I'm off to Target after work I see you're from AZ, I'll keep an eye out for other stuff like this. Lucky for us all the big department stores put their summer stuff on sale in august when the rest of the country cools down but we still have 100 degree weather! I love getting a swim suit for cheap only halfway through swimming season:)

Quote: Originally Posted by Hoosierfan This thread is making me thirsty! I'm a lover of the whites when it turns summertime, but lately, I've been trying Rose's and I've gotta say, yum! Granted, I think most people equate pink wine with box o' wine or older ladies playing bridge, but I'm loving it's light and flavorful taste! I've never been a fan of Rose for that reason, because I've only ever had cheap ones. But my uncle started a vineyard a few years ago and they just got around to making Rose and it is delicious! He just came out with sparkling rose, I can't wait to try it, we're thinking about serving that as our one wine for our wedding. Check out Croteau Vineyards if you wanna try it, they're made in Long Island, NY

We just saw a bunch of different colors(including white) light linen long sleeve shirts and also white short sleeve linen shirts with flower type imbrodery down the side. And they were only 20-25 dollars. My FI is planning on a tux but I thought some of you ladies might want to get something like that for your FI's and GM's wedding shirts. And they weren't on sale so hopefully they'll be around for a little while.

I think what we're going to do is write our names in the sand next week while we're in cali, take a picture of it, and then once we get the date figured out we'll print that over the top and order business card magnets or postcards from vista print. They're way cheaper then hiring a STD magnet company do it.

Quote: Originally Posted by Scubadiva We will be "trying" during the cruise and after When it happens it happens like you ladies say. It seems exciting to say we will start trying once we are married. And to all the ladies with having some difficulty getting prego or had problems in the past I am sending "baby vibes" Haha thank you for the "baby vibes". Hopefully they'll get my body behaving by the time my wedding rolls around! lol

We just registered this morning at Crate & Barrel. It was so much fun! If you can, go to one of their "wedding party" events, they have them at most every few months I think. Not only did we get to go and have the whole store to ourselves(there were only a few other couples also registering) for two hours before the store opened for the day, but they had a bunch of employees helping out, answering questions, and doing demos on stuff. So we browsed, ate, and just had fun. They had coffee, paninis, smoothies, and even mimosas for us! And then when we were leaving, they gave us a free gift for coming, this adorable blown glass heart shaped dish. Check it out. Plus, you can add stuff to your registry you see on their website, and people from all over the country can buy you stuff and have it shipped to you. And you get the discount after the wedding. I'm psyched! Other than that, we're planning on also registering at Target so we can register for some electronics, kitchen appliances, and everyday dishes.

Quote: Originally Posted by Ayita These are not really drinks, but why not some little bottles of 5-hour energy ? 5 hour energy is great for when you're tired but is definitely risky when you're dealing with people that are hungover and dehydrated from drinking and being in the sun. The last thing you want is your guests to be having heart palpitations and anxiety attacks. (I've been there, it is not a pleasant experience). Just a thought.

Quote: Originally Posted by purrfected Wow that is a lot of money! That hotel is beautiful though, and I remember the food at the restaurant being really good. However, nopt $30k worth of good. You might look into other places that are in the at same category that are having a tough time with the economy. You can rent venues and have a caterer for a lot less than that with the exact same view as that hotel. There is a magazine called Southern California brides (I think that is the name) that has many different venues. I went to see a few with at friend and they were gorgeous. She ended up getting married at a country club in Malibu that was a cliff overlooking the ocean. Fabulous and dinner was not 30k and the food was really good. Don't rule out private venues, they are usually much cheaper than the hotels and just as beautiful! Good luck and happy planning. I live in So Cal, so if you need me to check out a venue for you, I will be happy to do it and send pics! I've heard a little about that magazine but I can't figure out how to get one sent to me here in AZ. But like I said we're going to go out there in two weeks so I'll try to find one and we're going to drive around the areas we really like and see if we can find some smaller hotels in the area. We may not get an appt to take a tour or anything but it'll give us more of an idea on what's available.