karenk77

Thank you so much K, who would think our convos from then would end up to this? lol im going nuts, besides dealing with this, finishing up my masters this semester(due to graduate in dec) so i have 3 classes that are all consuming, papers up the ass and feel like im just gonna break..literally, and my mom keeps asking if everything is ok i dont want to tell her obviously. counseling might be a good idea but then again that takes time and this wedding is 3mths away, and i know everyone would understand but that doesnt take away from my guilt knowing people have spent so much money with intention of attending UGH. im smoking cigs like a chimney this is just nuts

honestly i dont know what the voices say..im soo confused right now to even hear them..part of me says we can work thru this this other part is f'ck him why should i? just so mixed up

oh honestly us too..weve been together 3yrs lived together for a little over one and have been engaged for a yr and a half and have been through soooo much crap i feel like weve been through more together in that time then people do in lifetimes..which on one hand weve made it this far so great..on the other how much can one person deal with (not that all the shit was from him he puts up with alto of me too..because when i get angry im like a devil) his dad called me said we dont want to lose you i said neither do i but i can only deal with so much, meanwhile his dad was supposed to work tonight but when i told his mom what was happening she made him stay home because she said she was having panic attacks i was like whaaaaat this whole thing is nuts i swear like movie type shit, and i come from such a calm peaceful home like how the hell did i get all this lol

meanwhile i told the videographer id be booking his trip this week and i cant do that either lol, its like a joke..i give all my friends the best advice have kept couples together for looking at the bright sides of everything and then i get these cards dealt? how? lol

nothin new..we got home he passed out and im still confused! lol

awwwwwwww thanks sammygirl

ok so update: i called his mom earlier today and basically told her i need to talk to her because im thinking of canceling the whole thing, and his parents love me, we have an amazing relationship, so his dad called him told him to come their after work and i went there..we had a talk, i basically told them exactly how i feel what i will and wont be willing to put up with they ofcourse agreed with me because ud have to be nuts not too, they said give it one last chance, i said i couldnt (which i dont know if thats true or not lol) and we just got home...check back in a abit lol

honestly? and i told his mom this already..if it wasnt away then id 100% cancel it...my major problem(and a major pressure point) is that we already have 20 rooms booked, i have family from other countries that have booked, cali has booked..and more to come and i know people will say dont worry about them better sooner then later, but i cant help feeling bad if that were to happen.

he's been in therapy, and he swore up and down hes stopped whether thats true or not i dont know, but that was my first question did he spend it on that. he keeps saying that hes saying sorry theres nothing more he can do to make me forgive him,a nd im saying its not about forgiving because that wasnt something unintentional, it was very intentional and he knew what he was doing..our wedding is in 3mths and my fam keeps asking me did we book, plus i was going to down to DR with my mom to finalize a few things and so everyday she asks me when are we going and i say i dont know. this whole thing is so f'd up and i just dont know what to do

I did find out what it was for..past football bets (alot of them) thats been an issue in the past and one i made him swear to stop when we started dating because i wouldnt tolerate it, and so he knew if he would tell me id flip the f out! as i have before. this is just such a nasty mess and i try to grasp it and i just cant. suuuuuucks!!!

whats chew? weed? as for how i feel..no clue u did make me feel better though thank you, he just walked in with a huge bouquet so i said u tryin 2 cover urself from every angle? just unneccesary crap that i dont want to deal with..i cant lie for my life so this just bugs me out

awwwww thank u so much for that! and taking the time to respond..im usually the one giving advice and when it comes to me im so lost, i guess because we are all objective when emotion is removed, but when i am emotional im like a firecracker.worse a volcanic eruption. I guess because I know his past I am just scared to have any patterns repeat. I know thats it not anything done intentionally to me but exactly like you said if you can do this whats to stop you from doing it again. i dont want to be a hawk, or a detective or anything like that..ugh what a mess!!

lets say you found out that your future inlaws gave you 5k to put towards your wedding, but your fi doesnt tell you about it he uses the money to pay someone off. your fmil mentions the money to you and you're completely oblivious, you question your fi and he tells you he used the money to pay someone he owed and intended on putting it back before anyone found out, needless to say the cat is out of the bag and I am crushed. I told him i am calling the whole thing off, we live together but have been sleeping in seperate rooms since(this was monday). I am just so confused and not sure how to handle this, how can you be with someone you don't trust? this isnt typical for us, and we are open and honest with everything. he said he didnt want to tell me because he didnt want to upset me that he owed someone money because i'd get upset, so i said everytime soemthign is gonna happen that u dont want to upset me ur not gonna tell me? thats bullsh*t! I am not one of those softies that forgive easily and not niave either..usually more skeptical then passive. tore him a new @sshole not that thats solving anything but i got some anger out lol. so anyway as you can imagine i am a confused mess, and i know noone can make any desicions for me or do i expect anyone too..but i am not telling anyone i know about this because i'm a a private person about my business(yet im announcing it on a website lmao) but its different i guess and just curious how you would react as you're reading this?

soooo...just want to know if i'm alone in this..im engaged to a complete sports fanatic, the only thing holding me back from throwing the 50in tv out the window is i might hurt an innocent person walking outside. every freakin sport, every freakin game..i think if i walked in front of the tv, actually forget me if kim kardashian was in front of the tv naked hed be like "honey can you move im gonna miss something" just want to know if any of you have one of these animals and how you're dealing with him lol thanks!

Hey its better to change your mind about color schemes then about fiances lol so dont feel bad, just think...it could always be worse lol

omg i loooove ur pic!!! the color contrast is sick

So i am going to order my invites tomorrow..having a hard time with the wording but even more so with how to list the attire. dont want to write casual because I know people will think that means flip flops and sundresses, dont want to write formal because I can imagine some people going all out in sequins..sooooo...how did you write yours?

I compleeeetely agree..I have a habit of telling my mother everything! because we're best friends which causes a problem because not that she holds it against him, but we're their children and they just want to see us happy, not realizing that the day that i am bitching him out to my mom as being the biggest douchebag ever, by the time i'm taking to her again the next day shes still bringing up the convo and its already long forgotten by me, i say im leaving all the time..and where do i go? nowhere! lol we love those stupid freaks of nature..sigh....

OMG that sucks that it closed..then again everything happens for a reason look into majestic elegance..i went in the summer and fell in love with it, people had told me about it but the pics online didnt impress me so when we went to look we were checked out riu palace, majestic and were going to look at paradisus but we liked the majestic so much we booked it on the spot, paradisus is pricier then again if you love it go with it because people will complain no matter what lol.

OMG the dress is beautiful. who cares if its going to be too hot..like sheree said you'll be hot no matter what, and you'll be sweating regardless so you may as well do it knowing you're in the dress of your dreams...hopefully we only do this once so be the princess you always hoped to be

whoops i meant to say you could find nice dresses that dont have to come from a bridal store lol

since you're only getting 2, you could even look at amazing dresses at saks or bloomies, they have great dresses from a "bridal store". you may find just what you're looking for

Congrats!! Check out majestic elegance

OMG! I just found out theres a whole wedding channel..its 177 in bklyn not sure what it is in jersey, but that show is gonna be another one to my addiction..but i love how tlc is now all about this crap..like the learning channel used to be exactly that..dont get me wrong..i love all of it and am addicted to all the shows but common now..tlc needs to step it up

Jenny- that bocelli song is amazing too w.celine dion