McToasty

Hey girls, I've read tons of threads on monstrous in-laws, so i feel bad about posting here, but i really want your advice, so decided to go with it. This is the situation: Future FIL gave me and FI a house to live in. It's in the suburbs, so it takes FI 2 hours to commute to work, not to mention 2 separate transit fares each way. We've lived here since September, and his friend also moved in with us because his rent downtown was too expensive. We are getting married in August. FIL should retire, because his job is physically demanding. To make this easier, FI and I agreed to move back home in September to help with the bills. I have no problems living with them, as they are wonderful people and sometimes treat me even better than my own parents It will just be a huge change for me because i'm used to living with just my mom in a 3-bedroom condo with 2 washrooms. There was a lot of extra space to wander around in, and my mom was also out most of the day, so I got a TON of personal space. FI's family house is dt, so naturally, there is less room. Because they are worried about break-in's, they keep their curtains drawn all the time, making the narrow spaces even darker and more claustrophobic. I looooove sunlight. FI is Indian, and they have a very close-knit extended family, so people are always coming in and out of the house. FI says I can always go to to bedroom, but that makes me feel like i'm in high school again, where the only place to be alone was your bedroom. I know that it's the best for everyone, and it's the right thing to do. God knows how much his parents have sacrificed to raise him and his brother. I'm just a little anxious about my mental sanity. I really prize my alone time and love being quiet, or just chilling with friends. I don't want to be ungrateful to them, because they treat me so well, and in no way do I want to be rude or disrespectful. But.. sometimes it just gets tiring, y'know? I'm also a little sad because his friend is moving out end of August, which is basically when we move downtown. So that leaves us hardly any time alone as newly-weds. Do you guys have any advice on living in close quarters with in-laws and maintaining your sanity as well as private time with hubby? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks guys!

Aww that sounds so hard. I actually felt tears prick my eyes when i was reading it. You sound like you're doing all you can to be supportive to DH and he is sooooo lucky to have you. It would be so easy to lash out and "put her in her place", but you chose the higher route of putting your DH's feelings before yours. I can only hope that the in-laws smarten up and somehow ... well, they're beyond fixing it, but at least somehow make it up to you? I don't know I hope you can feel better though. *hugs*

What is this i keep hearing about choco milk after workouts i've never heard of it before but seems like it's quite popular! MMM... i love ovaltine. if that's good for post-workout drinks, i'm in! The Fit Test... i don't even remember what he makes you do. It felt hard than plyo tho. i loved plyo in P90x. Today i'll be doing the 3rd session (2nd, technically, if you don't count fit test). I'm not looking forward to tmw tho. it's the one that's 80 minutes long!!! i can't even do 40! ><

Did the Fit test today for Insanity. Was thinking, "eh. who needs a fit test." LOL. lucky i did it. it serves as a warning for what is to come. Hoping to be committed enough to do it in 60 days. What about you all? Do you really do it every day? What time do you find works best for you?

Quote: Originally Posted by Debs We Rule!! It's like farmtown or whatever on Facebook. SOOOOOOO addicting! Debs!!! I'm playing that too, but none of my other friends play. can i visit your town so i can make my kingdom grow a bit? please please please!

omg that's so sad... i almost cried reading it... I don't know what else to say, but that my thoughts are with you and the family. I think it's amazing that you care so much about them and aren't just upset that it's ruined your wedding plans. Stuff like that really does put things into perspective. *HUUUGS*

omg that's so sad... i almost cried reading it... I don't know what else to say, but that my thoughts are with you and the family. I think it's amazing that you care so much about them and aren't just upset that it's ruined your wedding plans. Stuff like that really does put things into perspective. *HUUUGS*

haha omg that sounds so frustrating. they DO take a long time. What about saying that as much as you'd love to give them invites too, you have already finished them and have no material left, as you alloted just enough to cover the numbers she gave you. She had her chance to invite them. It's not that you randomly want to cut them out. It's her fault that she didn't think of them earlier. It's not your fault at all and I don't think you should keep catering to her constantly-increasing guestlist. Otherwise, give her one final deadline and say, that's it. after that you're not going to do anymore. That's life! Hope it all works out

My FI got me Wii Fit awhile ago and I had fun with it for a few weeks, then it started collecting dust. I figured Wii Active was similar, so when he got that for me, I didn't start playing until this week. I love it!!! As other brides have said, it allows for a continuous work out so your heart rate doesn't go done. I even find myself getting pretty sore from them! Hope I see results soon.

Quote: Originally Posted by vdaybride This person seems to be someone who was instrumental in helping mold your FI into the man you want to marry. If a few hundred dollars out of your pockets will help her make it to see her brother/son walk down the aisle then you should have no problems doing what you can do to make that happen. I am sure over the course of his lifetime she has made similar sacrifices. I know that things are probably tight with planning your dream wedding, but IMO your FI shouldn't even think twice about contributing to her trip. This is coming from someone who has paid for 7 immediate family members to attend because I can't imagine walking down the aisle and not seeing them there. Good luck with your decision. Money is such a stressful issue esp. when it is really tight. FI and I are scraping to get by, and I see how difficult it is to weigh - if you financially help a family member out, and if you do - which one? I agree what vday bride, if it is at all possible to scrap out a few hundred, or even to have the youngest sister pay for now, and pay her back later. FI *is* the groom, but he is also one of the siblings. It makes sense that she sent the request out to him too. From what you've posted, it sounds like you really recognize and appreciate the huge role the eldest sister played in his childhood and the obstacles she's had to deal with the past year. It would be amazing if she could go to celebrate your big day with you guys too. Hope it all works out!

Oh noooo!!! Let us know how it went. I hope you were able to share with him how his actions made you feel! You even offered to pay for the cab fare, which i think is so supportive of him not driving and just staying over at his friend's. Yeah, I totally agree with the other ladies. My friend used to always drink 'n drive and he'd say, "don't worry, i'll be ok." So I responded by asking him, "The people who drink and drive, then get into accidents - what do you think they thought when *they* got into the car? That they're gonna get into an accident later on? Clearly, they also thought, oh, i'll be ok i'll be ok." Clearly it's not a good judge of the future. idiots.

Hey! You're a Toronto bride too! Aww... that sounds so frustrating. Ugh, yeah, the added costs can make DWs so expensive. How much did he say would be to extend the reception beyond 30 minutes? wtf is a 30 minute reception anyway? I wouldn't even be able to eat a SALAD in 30 minutes. K, so it doesn't include dinner, so for the extra per person cost, you're paying for... reception-location space for 30 minutes?! That doesn't make sense at all... How much are they charging per person anyway? FI and I are getting married at PPC and it's $80US/extra person, but that includes food and... i don't believe there's a time limit, but your post makes me want to double-check that... $500 is a lot to just drop. I wonder if there's any way you can get it back? I know ppl get a lot of perks through just... yelling... if being nice hasn't worked. I don't want you to give up the wedding cake, father-daughter dance, and first dance with hubby. I feel like those are so integral to an intimate wedding and make it that much more special. You don't want to look back on it with regret.... I've also heard of a lot of brides being super-negotiators and got a lot of stuff for free.. Any way Sandals will budge on this 30 minute thing? I also feel your pain of not being able to contact the WC. I tried contacting mine for weeks just after we paid the deposit. I wanted to receive confirmation that they actually got the money. I don't know if they changed WCs at PPC, but the one there now, Miguilena or something, is amazing at responding quickly. Ugh, I hope things work out for you!!! Keep us updated!

Thanks so much for the review! FI and I are getting married there in August and we want to read every single review possible. You look beautiful in your pics.

I guess the sunny side of this frustration is knowing that when we're there, we get all (or at least most) of their attention. Then it'll be other brides' turn to wait. Hang in there!

AAHHHHH that creeps me out. hahaha.. sorry, not you. just root canals. you don't do pain? i don't even do dentists!!! hang in there!!! Preciousmi811 knows what she's talking about so that's reassuring. phew. Hope you look beautiful on your big weekend.