I think we can all relate to your problems, I know I can for sure!!!! I went through the same issues, my FI didn't want to ask people to spend too much and I had a really hard time reconciling that with that fact that I wanted our wedding to be somewhere nice. It took me months to find somewhere I felt was a reasonable price ($1500 - $1800 per person, depending on the city they are departing from) and that people would feel it was money well spent on (i.e. a nice place they would take a vacation to, not just a place they got stuck at because of our wedding!) I *hope* I have found this in ROR, I will only know for sure in November! After a while I think you have to just make a choice, there are good and bad reviews of every resort - tripadvisor.com was becoming the death of me! Just go with your gut and what you want, because it is so true what others have said - in the end the people who want to come will be there regardless of whether it's an extra $100 or something. Once the destination and date are booked, things will go much more smoothly - I found that potion of the process to take a few stressful months, but now I'm not ready to pull out my hair anymore
And just one more thing about the travel agent - that totally is their job to help you, so don't stress at all about that! I am kicking myself for not booking through the travel agent that I found to be so helpful, but her price was a little more. Now we had to change our departure date and everyone has to pay $50 more, so in the end we are paying the same price we were quoted from the "good" TA and I so wish we had booked with her in the first place! It is a nightmare trying to get information from the one we went with, so for your own sanity if you don't like the one you have been using, do yourself a huge favour and switch. It is their job to help you, and it takes a lot of back and forth to get everything booked!
Good luck with your planning!!!