We had out engagement party last May (we got engaged April 7th 200 and IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!! We partied til 1am...!
Basically, it was held at a mexican rest we go to all the time. Luckily for us we know the owners and they set up a special deal for us. We had a buffet with the option to buy a wristband aka OPEN BAR for $20 a person. I know thats a major steal and ppl were happy to do it esp when the food was free. It was on a Sunday so it was a private party but the MONDAY was Memorial Day so ppl could go out without worrying about work.
We got a lot of gifts which we told everyone NOT TO BRING GIFTS!! They were nice gifts though, wedding books, spa treatment for our "Stressful" planning, gift cards, cash, picture frames, wedding albums, etc.. We sent out Thank you cards as if it was any other occasion.
Our biggest reason for the party ***which my sister threw, with our help*** was so the 2 families could meet. We are from completely different backgrounds and we thought this would be a relaxed way for us to break the ice. Granted we are super close but our families havent had the chance to meet yet... THE PARTY ITSELF was awesome. We had a dj, cake, food, drinks and decor. I made my own invites hahaa because I am one crafty lady but it all worked out great. The rest was already decorated for the most part so I just had them bring balloons and we had a nice banner made that said CONGRATS.. etc.. and a cake made.
I think it varies on each family. Noone I know had an actual engagement party. If anything, we met the night whoever got engaged at a local bar and had drinks to celebrate. For our families our way was ideal. We also had the party without worry because we knew we wouldnt have a wedding anytime soon. I think having an engagement party only a few months before a wedding is slightly tacky... esp when you have a bridal and personal shower. ITs screams ME ME ME.. GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS lol. Well, not all cases but I know I would be like WOW.. if I had to go to all those events within a few months.
Anyway, have fun!! Congrats!