def don't pick jamaica if you have gay guests attending.
mexico is very gay friendly. i don't know a lot about other resorts, but we are looking to have ours at the gran bahia principe - riveria maya. i know they have a gazebo on the tulum side. i'm pretty sure you can walk with heels down the isle there, but you may want to double check.
it's all inclusive, lots of bars, restaurants and you have access to all 3 resorts (akumal, coba & tulum). you can also book a poolside reception for the evening and a dinner as well.