We had thought about having a party when we get back to down, but my fiances extended family is on the east coast, mine is on the west coast, and we live up North, so if we did, only the friends from the city we currently live in would be able to come to it and a lot of them are already invited.
I agree, it is incredibly rude for them to assume they are coming to my wedding and they don't seem to get it. This one girl I work with, I am not close to her at all she made a comment before my FI and I even got engaged, she said "I can't wait for the day that Chris (my FI) asks me how to propose to you" I was completely weirded out because I dont think my FI has even met her, she is just someone I work with.
I think I am just going to stick to saying "we are having a very small, intimate wedding with close family and best friends"