We're doing the same thing, private ceremony, big AHR 2 weeks after we get home. I really didn't have the time for a save the date, but I think save the dates are only "required" if you're inviting people to the DW (it allows to have more notice to plan, save money, etc. to take a trip rather than simply drive to an event somewhere locally). I sent a "save the date" email to the guests we'd be inviting from out of state, but everyone else is only getting the formal invitation.
Here's my timeline:
Mail invites: May 15
RSVP deadline: July 1
Wedding in DR: July 8
AHR: August 1
Here's the wording I used on our invite:
Your Name
and
His Name
Are pleased to announce we will be
married in a private ceremony
Wednesday, the eighth of July 2009
in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
We invite you to join us for a
wedding celebration when we return
as husband and wife.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Seven o’clock in the evening
Event Location
Street Address
City, State/Province
RSVP by July 1, 2009 to: email address
Visit wedding website for more information.
Hope that all helps! Good luck!!