I don't think it's really necessary to go overboard. Don't break the bank because you feel guilty. Just think about it...does it really matter that it is a destination wedding or if it were back at home? Either way, any wedding I have been in, you bought your own dress, shoes, paid for hair, makeup, bought them a shower gift, paid for throwing the shower, gave a wedding gift, etc. The only gifts I have received, or any gifts that anyone else I know have received as a bridesmaid are the jewelry. I know it can be a lot to ask someone to pay just for your wedding, but don't forget, they are on vacation too.