Oh dear I did not realize I would have to explain my confessions but here goes...
Distrust issue - well at the very, very begininning of our dating relationship my FI did cheat on me. It was very upsetting we did a lot of talking and finally got to a place where we felt on solid ground and continued dating. I still am fearful of that happening again and have my antenna's up ALL the time which probably is a problem if you check out some of my other threads. My Father cheated on my Mother a lot before he finally left her and somehow I feel deep down it will happen again.
The tied down to one person does not scare me as that is what I really want. BUT can it happen??
My period well... yes it is regular but I will be 43 in Dec. and I just can't see raising a child being this old. I know "43 is not that old" but for me I think I have passed my time. My Fi is 38 and I think he would want a child if I would but says he is happy either way.
I am currently laid off and can't find a job(I am too over qualified) and my self esteem is 0. So the self doubt plays into that too. I also have gained probably 40 pounds since my FI and I started dating(he has too) which makes me feel like crap but can't seem to get motivated to lose it not even for my wedding in 29 days!!!
My Fi is not the most talkative guy, he is good about everything but just says, I am perfect the way I am, don't worry about a job it will come etc...
So my confessions I think were just a way of me admitting them out loud. I do need some therapy I think but no money to pay for it right now ;-)
So thanks for listening and I am sure you are sorry you asked now,probably to much information for you.