KJT1985

This morning I took some pictures of the dress (now that I have a charged camera battery!) but didn't try it on again. Here's some pictures, hehe.

So after the camera battery charged all night I got some more pictures of the dress - but not with me in it. There's only one of those from last night and its not good (cause I had to take it myself) but here's a few teasers of the detail/beading and such...

Thanks AND I GOT MY DRESS TODAY! I GOT MY DRESS TODAY!!! I'm sooo ecstatic!! It's even better than the pictures! The beading is definitely darker/shinier in person! I am astonished at the quality considering it cost me $180 (WITH shipping)!!!! I think it's better quality than Davids bridal dresses. We live in a state without friends or family (just moved this summer and I don't work with any girls). I put it on backwards, tied myself in as best I could, turned it around....just to find out the camera battery was dead. ARG!! Maybe tomorrow, the fiance is almost home!

I GOT MY DRESS TODAY! I GOT MY DRESS TODAY!!! I'm sooo ecstatic!! It's even better than the pictures! The beading is definitely darker/shinier in person! I am astonished at the quality considering it cost me $180 (WITH shipping)!!!! I think it's better quality than Davids bridal dresses. We live in a state without friends or family (just moved this summer and I don't work with any girls). I put it on backwards, tied myself in as best I could, turned it around....just to find out the camera battery was dead. ARG!! Maybe tomorrow, the fiance is almost home! EmmaGaussoin did you get your proof pictures yet

Oops, think I found the answer. READ then post katie! geeze..

Most of the links in the moderators siggy or in the rules and FAQ posts don't work for me - they just take me to the "main" page. Am I doing something wrong? I just click! haha. Thanks!

You will definitely find a lot of useful information here! It's an amazing place! Congrats on the engagement AND on already picking a resort - that was the hardest part for me! Good luck!

Congrats on your engagement! I think most of us here would agree that choosing the country and resort was THE hardest part of the whole process! Try to remember that you can't please everybody so go somewhere YOU two want and stay at a resort that YOU like! Don't stress and enjoy this time! WELCOME!

YAY! Congrats on your engagement and welcome to BDW!! I'm sure you'll find it as entertaining, informative, and addictive as well all do! Good luck with your planning!

Quote: Originally Posted by Alyssa this statement is really uncalled for and rude. you have absolutely NO IDEA what individual people's issues have been and are about weight and being "pretty" or good looking is irrelevant to having an opinon. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for it to be rude. It was supposed to be a joke and a compliment... :-(

Hehe I also love how its the pretty people who are saying "it shouldn't matter". ;-)

Quote: Originally Posted by Ana You do realize though that one day your husband will be older, have wrinkles, loose skin, maybe experience some hair loss. Will that also affect your attraction to him. Sorry I guess I really honestly do not understand this. I do not understand how it is possible to feel less attracted to your partner if they gain a little bit of weight. My attraction to my husband is not predicated on his physical appearance by any means. My attraction stems from my affection for him, and I think that perhaps your choice of words were a bit offensive to some spouses on this forum, I know they were for me. I don't mean to be rude but from what you said I have to wonder if you've ever actually delt with weight issues for yourself or someone you love? Yes, everybody changes physically but I would hazard a guess that you would NOT be all hot and bothered by your husband if he got to the point where you had to clean his fat folds or change his bedsheets because he can't go to the bathroom. You make your statement as if it's an absolute with no limits and it most likely is. You would still LOVE him and have the same emotional attachment but I doubt you would want him physically anymore. No, this case isn't that extreme and I personally wouldn't be less attracted to somebody just because of 20 pounds. But I'm sure you realize the EMOTIONAL connections associated with weight. It honestly makes you feel like shit to not be in good shape. I would bet that if your husband started doing nothing, sitting on the couch all day eating chips and cookies and put on 40 pounds over the next couple months the sex would start dropping off. Just like you said, so much of attraction is based on your emotional attachment to him and you'd probably start losing respect for him if he stopped caring about himself. That loss of respect would translate to loss of physical attraction AT SOME POINT. Everybody has different "breaking" points depending on your relationship, your activity and body condition previously established in the relationship. My fiance sees me now as 30 pounds overweight and I can tell you for a fact that our relationship was better physically when I was a normal weight. Does he love me less? No and I don't doubt that. But I feel better when I'm a normal weight which translates HUGELY to my self esteem and overall mood on a daily basis. My mood affects him and makes him feel better along with him finding me more attractive because i'm in better shape. Wrinkles, loose skin and a balding head are NOT things you can control like weight. Weight says a lot about how much a person cares about themselves. And as far as people saying to wait UNTIL it's a healthy concern...I personally feel like that's a HUGE mistake. 50 pounds is sooooo much harder to lose than 20 lbs. You CANNOT wait and let yourself get to a point where its harder to get the weight off and permanent damage has already been done. I struggle every single day with this. I do NOT want to be overweight my whole life and have to have both knees and probably hips replaced like my grandmother. I do NOT want to develop diabetes because I was comfortable with the excess weight and it didn't SEEM like a healthy hazard at the time. I am trying SO hard to establish a healthy lifestyle that I can stick with forever so that I never develop problems in the first place. I should have listened to my parents when they told me at 15 that I should be losing weight because it would be easier to do young and while the problem wasn't out of control....

bump (I did say free shipping right?) haha I'm willing to negotiate on the price some!

Quote: Originally Posted by greshle Thanks for these links, this thread was really helpful! This seems like a silly question but are there any major differences between the satin and organza sashes? It seems like satin may be a more common choice but I wasn't sure if the there was a reason for this. Also, are the sashes wrinkled after being in their packages or can you just take them out of the pacakges and use them right away? I used satin and just took them out and used them right away. The only "wrinkles" were just the fold lines which didn't bother me at all. Satin is a heavier material than organza is. I liked satin because I think it's a nicer evening look - whereas organza would be my choice for an afternoon event. Organza is a bit see-through like chiffon. Just it kinda just depends on what kind of look you want and if you want to spend a bit more for the satin ones. Here's a link to an example of both: organza: http://www.xinlantex.cn/indexa1/Orga...air-Sashes.jpg satin: http://www.eventswholesale.com/catalog/sashes_satin.jpg Good luck!

That's not what I'm saying at all and I don't think she ever suggested she didn't love him because of his weight. Notice how I said we have to be attracted to a person to FALL in love with them? LOOKS are the reason we stuck around in the beginning, love is why we stick around now. During every relationship there's a natural transition where you learn more and more about the person and fall in love with what's on the inside but if we're honest it all starts with the outside. So I think to ignore the physical factor or say it doesn't matter AT ALL is silly. They are separate things and BOTH matter in keeping a healthy and happy relationship. Would I love my fiance if he gained 200 pounds? Hell yes! Would I still want to have sex with him and find him attractive? God no. I probably wouldn't respect him anymore because for HIM it would mean that he didn't care about himself, that he'd become lazy and probably didn't respect me either or he wouldn't have let himself get so unhealthy. Now, I don't need people jumping all over me saying that i'm ragging on the overweight people because guess who's overweight? ME. I have been since I was 12 (with the exception of about 9 months last year where I got down into a normal BMI range). People without weight issues have no idea how much of an emotional toll it can take on a person, especially a woman. All the women on my mom's side are overweight so I also know what it's like to watch a person you love struggle with it - to watch and KNOW their self esteem is low because of it. Because of my experiences I fully EXPECT my fiance to find me less attractive when i'm heavier - it's nature! Survival of the fittest! I know I FEEL less attractive when I weigh more so why would it be so wrong of my fiance to think so too? I think to say "looks don't matter I can get as fat as I want and you still have to find me attractive" is a ridiculous excuse. If you're TRULY happy with yourself at whatever weight you are and so is your fiance/husband, that is awesome! I'm NOT saying everybody has to a size 2 for their physical relationship to be wonderful. But looks DO matter, they're supposed to. I think the WAY in which you approach the person you love is most important. I'm sure this situation isn't as serious as my personal experiences. And I honestly hope she's not really embarrassed by him. I know if my fiance said THAT it'd rip my heart out. But at the same time, she's human and it's perfectly OK for her to find him less attractive because of his weight (unless its like 5-10 pounds, then that's silly haha).

I understand what you ladies are trying to say but love and attraction are two different things. Just because you would love your husbands if they gained a bunch of weight doesn't mean you would still find him AS attractive. I hate it when people say looks don't matter because they do. That doesn't mean there is an absolute beauty, attractiveness is different for everybody. But NATURE also makes it so we HAVE to be attracted physically to a person to fall in love with them. I'd bet anything that none of you ladies think your husband is ugly. It's just the way nature works. So to say it (or his health) shouldn't matter is a bunch of malarkey, IMO. She's not saying she doesn't love him anymore - just that she's not as attracted to him which is totally understandable. I'm also willing to bet that those of you saying it wouldn't matter haven't suffered weight issues with yourself or a loved one. You probably don't understand all the emotional effects of being overweight or loving and accepting somebody who's overweight. Acceptance is a lot easier said than done.

Quote: Originally Posted by Melidell Wow. I don't blame you for being mad. If FI randomly assigned a "job" to me and then refused to help me with it when I asked I would be beyond pissed. Umm, what exactly is it about this task that makes it your job, by the way? What is it he's doing (or thinks he's doing) that makes up for it? I would try to explain to him that you guys are a team now and that you are asking for his help. He's your partner and you need to be able to depend on him to pick up the slack if you're struggling or stressed. You know- appeal to his chivalrous side. Usually I'd say just don't do it but he's got you between a rock and a hard place because you'll both look bad if it doesn't get done. He's acting like a jerk- a good, polite Canadian boy should be writing his thank you notes like his mother taught him to! Ha! chivalrous, that's funny. Yeah, that's not him. He will point out when I use the wrong fork but doesn't think thank you notes, holding the door open for me, or helping me when I ask for it is necessary. Yesterday I had to swap out wireless router and now our tv in the bedroom won't stream netflix. So he's making all these snooty comments about how he deals with the tech stuff in the house and "hopefully that tv works again soon". We've had it all of three days and he's the one who set it up so I tried but have NO idea how to make it connect to the internet again. He's holding it over my head because that's "his job" and something I want him to do. It's not like I wouldn't if I could - I tried, I just don't know what's wrong with it! At first I tried talking to him, negotiating, reasoning. I even opened a bottle of wine last night when I sat down to start them and told him we could drink wine while we write. No such luck. Now he's in a pissy mood because he didn't get lucky last night and is blaming ME for us not getting along right now! He is INSANELY good at turning things around and making the situation into why he should be mad at me when i'm pissed about something. Then I have to move from "attack" mode to "defense" mode. I really don't like this part about him either. Haha. So now i'm just furious and can't hold my tongue. He'd better grow a brain before I get home from work otherwise it's gonna be a nasty night. And like I said before, it's not even so much that he doesn't care to write them - it's the fact that I asked for help and he won't do it. What kind of partner is that?! I NEVER turn him down when he asks me for something/help no matter what i'm doing.

It doesn't make you a horrible person but be careful how you deal with the situation. I sorta see both sides. My fiance has gained a BIT of weight since we met (his family gives him a hard time and his mom keeps telling him he's never been this fat in his life). But I've been worse. A year into our relationship (while doing long distance) I lost about 20 lbs and was down to my lowest weight since I was a kid. I was FINALLY able to wear a bikini when we went on vacation. But right after vacation the long distance ended, school started, we got engaged and I let myself go. I gained 40 pounds in a year. Now, i'm 15-20 pounds heavier then when we started dating. He makes comments all the time which do NOT help! Mostly because they are negative. I've found that i'm more motivated when he's willing to help and be positive. Last time he got me motivated by telling me about something he wanted to do but couldn't because of my weight. But now, even with the wedding coming up, i'm having a hard time sticking to any healthy routine. We joined a gym and both of us were doing GREAT until he decided he didn't need to go. Once I was left to it all alone, I stopped going. Why? Because it wasn't a fun couples activity anymore, it was lonely work. It's totally reasonable that you'd become less attracted to him. But if it's really important to you, take control of the situation without making him feel bad. If it'll really help your relationship, GO to the gym with him and recognize that you're doing it for you both. Motivate him without pointing out his flaws. And maybe he'll get more motivated thinking HE needs to help YOU get in better shape. Remind him how much better your physical relationship will be when you're both super fit, what guy would turn a blind eye to THAT?!

Thanks girls. I tried that - I just told him that we were going to sit down and do 10 each last night and every night until we got done but he refused. It's really too bad I can't hold the money over his head but it's pretty much already gone - paid off some more of our honeymoon, paid off some on the car, bought a new fridge for the house. Haha. And honestly, if it didn't reflect poorly on me as well I'd just forget the whole thing and let him do whatever he wanted for his side. I know he wouldn't even bother sending them notes if it was up to him. Just sucks that it'd be a bad reflection on me as well! I also hate that when things like this happen he gets mad at ME! wtf?! I'M the one who's mad here! But he'll act like i'm the one in the wrong. Grr (that's nothing new to me though). I just told him today when I was yelling at him that the least he can do is address some envelopes!! So we'll see..

Yeah I don't appreciate it either (even though I know he does things I won't or can't). It's not like he canNOT do it, he just doesn't want to. I certainly took the time to remind him last night that it's that time of the month for me and my hand is going to cramp up from all the writing. Just something for him to think about.... lmao.

Yeah or i'm sure any other book store would have some cool ones too!

Quote: Originally Posted by creoletexan I know how you feel, except my husband's handwriting is horrid and it's best that he doesn't do anything more than add the stamp and drop them off. Maybe you can have a friend to help you, though I do agree that indicating that it's your "job" is ridiculous. When my husband tries that, he almost always gets an earful. Well that'd be nice but this past summer we moved to a state where we have no friends and family (HIS job transferred us, i'm only bitter in times like these). I can't really ask my coworkers to help me write thank you notes when they aren't invited to the wedding. Haha! My fiance has horrible handwriting too but I don't even care! And I don't think the recipients would care either...cause it's the thought that counts. The least he could do is address them, stamp them and mail them if I have to write them all (and all for strangers to me no less!).

Ok while looking at the website I found some cool ones that I (personally) kinda fell in love with. Some of them look like books which I think is really neat. Brown Rosone Medallion Italian Leather Journal Blank 5x7, Barnes & Noble - Barnes & Noble Antique Map Printed Italian Leather Journal 6x8, Barnes & Noble - Barnes & Noble (a very cool travel one!) Red Antique Foil Slim Lined Journal 3.5 x 7, Hartley & Marks, Incorporated - Barnes & Noble Enlightenment Journal 7x9, Peter Pauper Press, Incorporated - Barnes & Noble

This is a good idea! I actually bought a journal for my fiance on our one year anniversary. I've been writing to him in it since then (recapping our relationship). I was really excited and told him about it once but i'm sure he's forgotten. It's supposed to be his wedding gift. We did long distance for a year and he LOVED when I wrote him letters or emails. I've been pretty bad about updating it lately though. We live together now and I never think about it unless i'm at work or he's around. I'm sure after the wedding i'll be required to continue writing in it. Hehe. So maybe i'll try really hard to writing in it every day of our honeymoon. It would be awesome to go back and read later. I got mine at Barnes and Nobles. It's red leather with a heart on it. They have a lot of REALLY pretty ones but I like the idea of making one too!

My fiance is making me furious. Reading other brides problems here makes me feel like maybe i'm just being a baby but i'm still very mad at him. My fiance is Canadian and his parents hosted a pre-wedding reception there just over a week ago (worked out better regarding vacation time). We had almost 90 people there and now have the wonderful task of writing thank you notes. While I don't think this is something anybody ENJOYS doing I think its proper etiquette and the least we can do to show our appreciation. Here's the problem - he won't help me with these AT ALL! All he could talk about before and after the reception was how much money we were going to make off it. I really don't like this side of him. Even though I appreciate that it makes him driven, I'm the type of person who could still be happy with life as long as we can meet our basics needs. I don't think money is everything but he's VERY focused on it. So now that he was all about the money AND it was only his side of the family that was there (MANY of which I hadn't even met before and he hasn't seen in 12+ years) it really pisses me off that he can't help me when I ask for it! This makes me so mad because I want him to be grateful for what we were given and I want him to F-ING help me when I ask for it! He's acting like such a child and i'm getting more and more angry. He keeps telling me that there are things he does in the relationship and things I do and that this is just one of those things that I do. I just want to slap him! How rude, insensitive, and immature is that?! All he could talk about is the money and now he won't even make an effort to let people know he appreciated it OR help me when I bloody ask for it! I'm mad that he's not polite and even more angry that he doesn't respect me enough to help me when I ask for it. If he can't do this for is own damn family I know there's no way in hell he'll help me when it comes time to write mine!!!