KJT1985

Thanks guys! Paradisus in Costa Rica was AWESOME! I think we paid around $530 a night in August - a week for the two of us (including flights was $5,000). The resort was beautiful. It's pretty secluded which I thought was great - no other huge resorts next door. Make sure you do the free sunset cruise - and book in advance! It fills up quickly but was beautiful (even though it was raining when we went out, only time it rained before the sun went down). We also went off shore fishing and did the canopy tour - A MUST! Here's a link to our vacation photos - Costa Rica - August 2008 pictures by Katie_T85 - Photobucket Sorry, there not all labeled or in order but you get the idea. I would go back in a heart beat. However, if you're a beachy person - it's not the best place. We mainly stuck to the pool. Vendors set up stands right outside the resort exit so you have to walk through them to get to the beach. They aren't pushy so it's not a big deal - just walk on by and say no thanks, they back off. The beach has a pretty decent slope to it and is made up of crushed sea shells so it's a little rough on the feet. We only went down there when we out to go kayaking/snorkeling which is a free trip with the resort. The water isn't very clear so if you've been somewhere tropical you won't be impressed but it was fun for us. We at least saw a squid and porcupine puffer up close - our guide picked up both and passed them around. We got upgraded to the Royal Service for free but honestly, I wouldn't pay for it. Basically, your building ends up with a butler and you get to enjoy the private pool. The standard rooms were larger and I actually liked them better (we stayed in one for two nights before finally getting the right room). Anybody can reserved dinner at the "private" restaurant - the only time it's private is at lunch time. It certainly was quieter than the main pool - never any kids that I saw - so if you're looking for that and think its worth the price, then you certainly could upgrade. I found the drunk foreigners in the main pool pretty entertaining, myself. Anyway, I don't WANT to settle but think we might have to. Jamaica is absolutely an option and the place I was leaning toward! I don't like the huge look of the RIU ocho Rio which is so popular among brides here but LOVE the look of the Gran Bahia - BUT they charge for the safe AND you only get 3 a la carte meals a week unless you upgrade and still only get 6 (not a big issue but i'm already paying enough money I don't want to pay more!). We thought about the Dominican Republic and the paradisus - since we loved the one in CR so much - but the reviews of the food are terrible and I've heard a lot of comments that the people aren't the friendliest. I'm just lost now! Haha.

We're planning our wedding for Feb 2010 and are having the hardest time picking a resort!! We stayed at Paradisus Playa conchal in Costa Rica back in August and I think we got spoiled. We weren't charged for the in-room safe and had unlimited dining at the a la carte restaurants (so we ate there EVERY night). These were things we really enjoyed and don't want to settle on for our wedding. We'd love to go back to CR but think the Paradisus is just too expensive for our guests. We're also trying to stay away from Mexico (which kinda bite since there's a million nice, affordable AI resorts there). AND my fiance's sister will be 16 at the time so adult only resorts are out as well. I don't particularly like the really tall hotel looking resorts (makes me feel cramped and doesn't seem relaxing to me). Has anybody come across a nice resort that fits our requirements while being less than $1500 a person/week? HELP! I know we're being picky and will have to settle on something....

I like the idea but am torn between a few things. I see that some people make the bag a soft sided cooler or put koozies in them. My fiance and I stayed at an AI back in August and never took drinks anywhere with us since they were free everywhere so I don't want to include these things (don't think people will use them). I also think most people will bring their own sunscreen so what else do you add? Here's what I have come up with: aloe vera gel, advil, pepto bismol, bandaids/small first aid kit, bug spray?, maybe a beach sarong/wrap - but what else? I'll probably try to individualize them a bit, adding some sand toys for people with kids. I don't want to do super personalized things (like a cup with OUR name on it) as these are hard to use when you get back home. Also, I don't particularly want to take a billion things with us. Would it be better to mail them in advance? I think this might make people get excited but would also cost us postage....then what if they forget the stuff anyway?

WOW! I just read all 25 pages of this post (at work of course). I think this is a MUST read for everybody who joins the forum. We're planning our wedding for Feb 2010 (probably jamaica) and this helps SO very much. It's nice to know that my $340 ebay wedding dress will be great and won't take away from the day. I'm leaning toward a welcome dinner or something of the sort more and more while wanting to almost completely opt out of a cake (might as well get the free included one). I'm still on the fence about OOT bags as we'll be going to an AI and I don't know how much of that stuff would be used. We vacationed at an AI back in august and never took drinks with us since they were free everywhere we went - I think coolers and/or koozies would be unnecessary as well as sun screen (most people will bring it and the resort has some for free if not). One huge reason for having a DW is that I don't want to plan all the details and stress out about it all. I'm certainly going to try and limit the amount of things I take down there but want naturally want a nice/unforgetable wedding. I'll certainly be trying to make room in the budget for fire dancers or fireworks. BIG THANKS to all who contributed so far!

Quote: Originally Posted by Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez Okay so I had my Bridal shower this past weekend and loved it! All guests were so happy and gave me lovely gifts, but I noticed both my FMIL and my FSIL didn't bring anything. I'm not a gift greedy person, but they didn't even say anything. MY FMIL did say after that she was going to see what everyone else gave so she could pick a gift that I didn't get, but then I found out later that she had gone out the day before and bought a bunch of dresses for the wedding because she is trying to figure out which one she wants to wear for the wedding. My FSIL went out partying later that evening and is planning a trip to Vegas with her friends next weekend so I'm assumming she is trying to save money for that trip. I tried to not let it bother me, but I'm feeling really hurt right now. EVERYONE ELSE at the shower gave a gift except them. I don't even think they felt embarrassed. I don't what to think. I haven't mentioned to FI, but should I? I'd probably be upset too. I'm not about gifts either but it's really the thought that counts. I think at least a card would have been appropriate. Are they helping financially with the wedding at all? Maybe they thought with everything else that it wasn't necessary. Sometimes people have engagement parties, and bridal showers, and then the wedding and the number of times you have to give them a gift gets out of control. HOWEVER, I don't really think its acceptable to go to something like that with nothing at all and then to make up excuses as to why. If it was me, I'd have no problem talking to my fiance about it..

Quote: Originally Posted by Hartyt509 I'd tell the MOH to stick it up her arse too - they'll be sorry when you are married 20 years and they are divorced 5x over lol Cut them off you don't need them chick x Thank you! It makes me feel better to hear that I'm "right" in this. I don't think she understands what a commitment a wedding is - she's never been in a serious relationship so I feel like she doesn't understand the things you'd do for that person and what the wedding is really all about. That is reality, its NOT just a party for everyone else so they can look at me and tell me how pretty I am. And because of how important it is, you want it to go perfectly and done your way. I just really hope that when she gets married she has friends around who stick up for her and let her have her way on her day.

The ctrl-alt-down arrow doesn't work for me either (PC but vista??). anyway, today is my fiance's birthday and I don't feel like it's nice to prank him (hehe). I'm not really in the mood for jokes but am trying to come up with something to do to the crazy brazilian i share an office with....

Of course they would still be complaining! On top of that, I get an email from my "MOH" telling me how much i've changed since I met my fiance and how when she was here dress shopping she doesn't even know who I am anymore, how selfish I am. She says that he's leading me down the wrong path, that she thinks I only asked her to be my MOH because I felt like I had to, and he's not worth alienating family over and that she hopes we have a long happy life together. WTF?!?! I'm sitting at work, trying not to cry my eyes out, thinking we just need to go to Vegas this weekend and get married by ourselves....

Oh yeah... and i'm not angry that people can't come. I tried really hard to reassure my friend that it was ok if she couldn't afford it. I didn't want HER feeling bad about it. I just don't appreciate her going to my brother after and complaining to him and then him ripping into me. When I say that it's ok that some people can't afford it and won't be there - I get told that I don't care about them! Gah!!!! and yeah, they're going to complain no matter what so why should we spend more money on a wedding we don't want that they STILL won't be happy with?!?!

My brother was texting me again today (yes, I know these conversations should be had over the phone but i'm glad it wasn't because I feel like I found out a whole lot more this way). Naturally he's trying to guilt trip me (our poor grandma who has alzheimers and doesn't even know who I am isn't going to see her first grandkid get married). I asked him why we should change our plans, have a wedding we don't want because people who are NOT happy we're getting married say so. I kept reminding him of the cost factor for us since my parents aren't helping. He then tells me that its out of spite - they aren't giving us money because they're angry we're planning a wedding "nobody can go to". I honestly don't want their money, I never have as far as the wedding is concerned - it always comes with strings. He then starts bragging that he's getting the money we would have - that they're giving him $7,000 to buy a new truck. All this when they're complaining about coming up with $3,000 to even be able to go. I'm their only daughter for crying out loud! How about using that money to go to my wedding?! So I get told that it's not all about me and to stop being so F-ing selfish. This makes me laugh. Yes, I do admit that I seem overly angry and, I suppose, rude toward my brother but there's a LOT of back story you aren't hearing and we really haven't had a good relationship for the past couple years - all since they thought they could control the relationship and demand that I break it off with my now fiance. I did a year of therapy after I couldn't take their controlling/manipulative ways anymore. I used to get walked all over so badly and would end up on the floor in the fetal position, crying for hours because they disagreed with me and had decided that its ok to stop speaking to me completely. I finally have balls to stand up and say NO! This is MY life and I'm going to get what I want out of it! - so I can't really be sorry for that. This is only one day in my entire life, I only get to do this once and it may sound selfish - but i'm going to do it MY way....ok, ok - OUR way!

Thanks guys. I just can't imagine the logic that goes into saying I don't care about family and that family is most important to him when he's practically demanding that we change our ONE day for them! Yeah, it's really important to him that I'm happy huh?! Anyway, we're the same way - I'm almost 24, my fiance is 26 and we want to buy a house. My parents haven't offered to help us at all so I feel like they can't complain. Because a $3,000 vacation (or whatever it will cost them) is NOTHING compared to a $15,000 wedding they could be hosting at home. I hinted to my mother in the beginning that we'd have it here if they were going to pay for it. My fiance's family offered to pay for the reception in Canada for his side and we'll do something VERY casual and cheap for the reception here in the states. As far as the wedding, I'm really over planning all the tiny details and stressing out about how much napkins cost. This is truly what we want and could be an awesome time if everybody would realize that we don't expect them to go into debt for us. We'd love it if they could be there but we'll still be married if they aren't. A simple yes, we can go or no, we just can't afford it would suffice - not lectures.

I know i'm sounding like a witch here but I've been walked all over and controlled so much by my family before - this is one time when I want to get what I want, and not what they want. We've already accepted the fact that many people can't come. Do I wish they could? OF COURSE! But we're having receptions back home afterwards too, so we can celebrate with them - it's not all or nothing. Yes, they're important but why is it ok to demand that we change our plans, our desires for OUR one big day because of them? My negative reaction to my brother really wasn't just out of the blue, only because of the wedding - there's a long history of him trying to tell me what to do with my life when he just barely moved out of our parents house and knows nothing about relationships or life. My fiance also thinks that we shouldn't sacrifice our wedding dream because my younger brother thinks it's a bad idea and is giving me crap. His whole family has been more than supportive and wonderful.

Thanks. And keep in mind - we're 11 months away and haven't even picked a location yet!!

It started with a phone call from my "MOH" today wanting to talk to me about how much the trip is going to cost. From the start, I didn't think she would be able to go because she's still in college and doesn't have a job - but she acted like she'd do anything to be there and would be. She tells me that she didn't think it was going to be more than $1,000 and that she just can't afford to go. My comment was something like- well, we knew that making it a destination wedding was going to cost people a lot and would eliminate some people but this is what we want and we accepted that it would keep some people from being there. later I get texts from my brother (he's 21), going like this "You might consider a interpersonal relations class before you quit college" (for the record, i'm getting my master's in biomedical science and will be GRADUATING [not quitting] in August) I asked him why. "I talked to [my MOH] on facebook. You need to ask yourself if the location of your wedding is more important than all your family and friends" "Let's look at the guest list for the bride. Mother, check and that's it. I thought you would have more character than that" - so apparently my dad isn't going now and wtf about having not having character because we want a destination wedding?! My response: "Look, I know you can't understand it. But our wedding really isn't about the rest of you - it's about US and what WE want. Five years from now, none of you will remember a thing from it but we will" He says" "Well that's what I want to know. You care more about the location than family. FAMILY is what life is all about, at least for me" So I pretty much said F-you and that it wasn't about him, or my friend, or grandma -it was about us. If they can go and afford it, great. If not, shut the hell up and we'll enjoy the party without them. Then I get on facebook and my "MOH" just put her status as "just going to move on...simple as that" There's been a LOT of drama with my family over my fiance - they don't like him and have tried to control the relationship from day 1. They're all pretty manipulative but hadn't said anything really since the engagement - other than a minor guilt trip laid on by my mom because my grandparents can't go. But this really really ticks me off. It's our wedding! Where one earth does he get the audacity to say that I don't have character because we want a destination wedding! It's not just about the location - it's also about the money. This is way cheaper than having a wedding at home and my parents haven't offered a dime so we're on our own! I'm so angry right now that i'm in the mind to head to vegas this weekend and leave them all out completely. Isn't this about US and what we want?! Isn't this about what makes US happy?! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

What are they and were do I get them?! Haha.

Are you all doing real flowers for bouquets/boutonnieres or fake? I have arguments for both sides. Fake flowers could be cheaper, you can get exactly what you want BUT you have to make room in your suitcase, hope they don't get smooshed and warped on the trip down there. Real flowers are more money but you don't have to worry about traveling with them. However, what are the BM to do with them once its over? It's not like they can take them home - they'll end up MAYBE keeping them in their room for the duration of their stay then chucking them when they leave. What are you guys doing and why?

Ahh!! sigh... I tried this dress on back in November... it's the only dress I still think about. Unfortunately I wasn't as in love with the price tag. I bought a different dress but have since talked to a lady about custom making one like Lavina. If she gives me a good enough quote I think I might try to sell my dress and have her make me one. I was so in love with that dress....Congrats!

Definitely #3! I tried on that dress too. Loved it but it wasn't what I was going for. Congrats! It's beautiful on you!!

Four days ago I laughed at this post. Now I'm part of it. I found a couple deals on ebay I just couldn't pass up. Both of these dresses retail for over $800 EACH and I got them both for just $533. They're sample dresses but who cares?! THE dresses pictures by Beaujo85 - Photobucket PS- isn't me in the pictures, the dresses will arrive Monday

UPDATE - I MUST BE OUT OF MY MIND! I've bought my dress! Ok, TWO actually. And they weren't any of the ones I tried on or showed you all. I was perusing ebay when I stumbled upon an Anjolique dress that was pretty much everything I had said I wanted. While I initially thought it was a beautiful dress, I wasn't set on it immediately. However, the fact that it retails for over $800 and was only $339 was really making it hard for me to pass up. It's a sample gown from a store in Montana that isn't carrying the designer anymore. It was never bought, never worn out of the store and still has all the tags. The lady also sent me close up pictures of the detail and said that there doesn't seem to be any bead work missing. And luckily, i'm the sample gown size! I checked to see what other dresses they were selling and saw one like I had tried on before (I'm sure you'll recognize it). It retails for $850 and was only $179!!!! So I bought both. My plans for the second, cheaper one, is to have a seamstress cut it off at the knee and tighten the skirt a bit then wear it for our receptions back here at home. Our wedding isn't until next February so worst case scenario, I don't like one or both or for some odd reason there's no chance of them fitting, and I have a year to sell them. No big deal. For the deal I got, I don't think I can go wrong here. *not me these picts, the dresses will arrive Monday THE dresses pictures by Beaujo85 - Photobucket

Thanks guys! In the store I liked 46 but wasn't in love with it. After I got home and looked at pictures it quickly rose to the top of my list. I really like 40 though too. Both were sample gowns, I THINK 46 was $600 and know 40 was $700 - not bad! I stopped at Davids bridal last night on my way home from work. I tried on the dress I posted and a couple more. I liked a different one better than the one I showed. My personal problem with Davids bridal though is that I feel like the material is super cheap (ok, I'm a snob for saying this). The dress I liked was $600 so why on earth wouldn't I spend the same or $100 more and have something that is soooo much better quality?! Sure, it photographs decent but I really don't want people coming up to hug me and thinking it feels cheap. But as I got told last night - I'm really the only one who probably cares! I think I'm just going to keep shopping around until there's something that I can't live without - or until I run out of time. I had a dream last night that I went back to the store and all the gowns were gone so I'll take that as my sign. Now to decide WHERE we're having it.... lol

Ahaha. that comment about a fairly large chest made my day. It's not often somebody considers a 36B large :-P Anyway, I like lots of different styles of dresses and have probably tried on over 100 total. Initially i wanted something a bit more sleek just because we're only going to have about 20 guests and I thought it was more appropriate. But after seeing dresses like #40 and 36 - I feel like it shouldn't matter - as long as its not super out of place and i'm happy. But yeah... I don't know what to do

I think I want to try on this one from David's bridal too -> David's Bridal - Taffeta A-line with beaded lace bust and fitted draped bodice. I'm gonna make myself crazy here! #40 seems to be popular and worries me because I had to take that one off the rack if I wanted it. If I wait too long, it might be gone!

#36 is stretch satin - it's Alexandria by Maggie Sottero

Thanks guys. I LOVE sweetheart necklines too! I think 40 was everyone's favorite while shopping. I think it's a GORGEOUS dress, and it really wasn't that heavy - it just wasn't really what I had in mind initially for a wedding with maybe 20 people. I like the silhouette on 14, not the straps and I did want a little bit of a train - it's also relatively plain. I LOVE shiny beading! Haha. And yeah, I was pretty in love with 51 too...