DGG

Quote: Originally Posted by binzer DGG, what are you hoping to spend on each? My best recommendation would be Etsy since you'll definitely find something in your price range that's nice! I think about $50 each - I haven't looked much on etsy, thanks for the suggestion

Quote: Originally Posted by binzer What are you ladies doing for BM jewelry? I was thinking of getting them matching jewelry as their BM gift, but I'm worried that they're going to go buy themselves jewelry before the wedding and there will be money wasted! Should I be providing jewelry and also buy them something else? I think they can always use extra jewelry Or wear their jewelry another night of the trip... I wanted to get my BM jewelry also - something nice but I can't find anything that is nice but not absurdly expensive (I have 5 BM) - any suggestions

I think it depends on your crowd - I know most of my friends and some of my family would hate it, but I have also been to weddings without alcohol (for religious reasons) and people were fine. Some of their friends "snuck" in alcohol but even those of us who didn't still had a great time... I am trusting my friends and family will not get drunk and throw up, etc - I hope people are a little more mature than that, but you need to do whatever is right for you, your family and the group of people you are having. If you want to include something, maybe just have a cocktail hour and then no alcohol during dinner or just wine or something like that. There is a balance between a drunken party and serving wine with dinner. But I think it's fine if you don't have any alcohol if that's what you're more comfortable with.. I think most people will have a good time regardless..

Thank you all for all the good advice and support Quote: Originally Posted by Amarillis This is where the situation is sad, your FI's family is not coming based on the no-children rule, and they would have joined you for your big day. I really think you ought to reconsider your decision. In my opinion weddings are about family and sharing your big day with the ones you love. [*]re-evaluate 'other wedding events' - if you were planning a group excursion, pay only for your immeadiate family and leave extended family to cover thier own costs Here's the thing though - neither of us really care if these people are there. We only invited them to make his grandmother happy and she said even they won't come but we should send an invite so feelings aren't hurt. These are his grandmother's siblings children in their 30s-40s (I think that makes them great aunts/uncles ? )- my FI doesn't know them that well and we've been dating for over 9 years and I have NEVER met them, so they are obviously not close at all. Don't get me wrong, I love children and would be very happy to have children we care about there, but it sort of worked out no one we are close to has small children except 2 with babies and they both decided on their own to leave them home with their parents. Our problem was inviting these people in the 1st place - but it drives me crazy to have children I have never met and my FI could care less about (and can't remember if he has even met all of them) there. And I don't want to re-arrange my wedding events and cut other things to include children neither of us know. We just got their reply card today and we had written in their names on the reply card already and they added "and Fam" and then just wrote in "5" on the bottom - so they clearly expected to just add on uninvited kids even though they were told to ask us first. They are welcome to bring whoever on their trip, but I don't get how people just add on 3 people to a reply card Thank you all so much for listening (reading I guess) - sorry if I'm rambling, I am just so frustrated ..

I sort of just need to vent - and could use some advice too We were inviting about 50 ppl to our wedding - then when we were sending invites, my FI's grandmother and aunt (his mom passed away and his dad is clueless with this stuff, so we had to rely on them somewhat) insisted that we invite some of his great-aunts and uncles, etc - or they would be really hurt and they said these ppl would Definitely not come. It ended up being 15 people - we probably should have said no then, but we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and figured they wouldn't come anyway.. Anyway, it turns out 5 of them have booked already - which I guess is fine, b/c we did invite them so I can't complain really. BUT what I am so irritated about - we very clearly labeled invites by name for these adults only - one couple already decided they would bring their 3 kids and booked their trips - they supposedly told his aunt they were annoyed the kids names weren't on the invite and she said to talk to us before booking - and then guess what, they just booked anyway.. AND we only found this out through the hotel - my FI had his aunt call and tell them kids weren't allowed at the wedding and she said they already booked so they were already coming. She said she told them the hotel won't allow them at the reception b/c of alcohol and so she said fine, they'll stay in the room during the reception. So I made FI call everyone today because we realized apparently this side of the family thinks they can invite everyone and if you count up their children, it's going to double our wedding. Two other couples said they might bring their 4 children (each!) but he told them we can't have kids, so they aren't coming now.. So, where they about to book 8 more uninvited kids without telling us?? What is wrong with people If your name is not on the invite - and we are clearly not close with them - why do they just think they can add whoever they want? We haven't invited some other people we would like b/c we are trying to keep it smaller and then now we'll have extended family's kids that we don't even know... They at least could have asked...So frustrating!!!! So - here's the part I'm not sure about - so now they think the kids are not allowed at the wedding even though they'll be at the resort. Is that horrible if we really stick to that? We actually are not having any other children coming (except our 2yo ring-bearer) so we didn't really want any kids anyway.. especially ones that neither of us know.. I think it's a little rude back to them, but then again they knew we didn't want them there and booked anyway - so maybe we shouldn't care either Part of the issue, we are paying almost $300 per guest for our wedding and other events - we are paying for it all ourselves and we just can't afford it.. But our resort is very small so it is sort of awkward having them there and not including them.. AAAHHHH!!! Why are weddings so frustrating

Are you in Delaware or NY? I'm from NY but temp living/working in DE.

Glad it all worked out! Having a DW is WAY harder and more stressful than I thought it would be... But it is your wedding and you can do as much or as little as you want -as long as you and your FI are together and happy .. it's easy to get caught up in so much more than you really need. Good luck with the planning - I'm trying to start some DIY projects also so hopefully I'll have some successes to share

I got this for my little brother for Xmas and he loved it - he already said he's bringing it to our wedding .

I'm not changing my name - my FI was a little upset about it at first, but we spoke and I think he understands and is okay with it. I'm also keeping my name mostly for professional reasons - so legally and professionally I will keep the same name, but the same as you - I'm not planning to correct everyone if they call me his name socially esp once we have kids.. It is frustrating, so many people just assume you're going to change your name, right? I have said I'm not going to change it to a few people - mostly family and no one seemed that surprised so it's been okay.. Someone at work said to me something to the effect of "he's still going to marry you?" I sort of laughed it off but I wanted to tell her off - I think it's her loss that she thinks so little of her rights as a woman.. and I would never be with someone who would NOT marry me because of this.. I spent 30 years with my name and have accomplished a lot professionally with my name, so this means a lot to me..

Discover didn't have a fee - but they are switching the policy May 1.. I was so mad - our wedding is in May and I'm sure we'll have to charge stuff in May. I get really annoyed paying fees like that b/c it's just throwing money away.. I called a lot of credit card companies and the only one I could find without a fee is Capital One..

Your pictures are great! You look so beautiful.. and good call on using your real wedding dress - you have some great TTD shots .

I might in the minority, but I would pay for the guest pass (of the people you actually invited at least) - if you ask me, asking them to pay for a guest pass (or a pass for ceremony/reception only if that's allowed) is like asking them to pay an admission fee for your wedding. It's sort of like asking them to buy their own dinner at your wedding in a way. If you think about it, they are flying down and paying for a hotel (even if it is a cheaper hotel) so they are spending a lot of money already to come just for your wedding. And money must be a concern, or they wouldn't choose a cheaper hotel - so I think it is only fair you buy their dinner and drinks at your wedding.. As for their friends, that's up to you - I wouldn't pay for them and even though they are their ride, they are doing a favor for them, not for you - I don't think you have to invite extra people just because they are giving your friends a ride.. but I guess it would be generous to allow them to come, but I wouldn't pay extra $ for them if I were you.

I did send them to the bridal party also. That is a decent amount of money you can save (and I'm sure put toward other things for the wedding ), but I thought our parents and our bridal party would probably appreciate them the most and save them.. Ours were magnets and my bridesmaids (and our parents) seemed really excited to have them to put on their fridge. So, it's up to you - you can ask if they want them or not?

Hi! We are trying to book our music and I'm not really sure whether we should have a band for the entire time or just for dinner and then a DJ for after-dinner. We are having the house band, which is supposedly good and other brides have told me they got people dancing. But we were thinking our friends might dance more if we had more modern music - so we were debating having a DJ for the second half of our reception. Here's the timeline we are using 6:15ish ceremony 7pm - cocktail hour 8pm - dinner, first dance, etc. then we'd have cake cutting around 10pm. 10pm have DJ start for more dancing Do you think it is a good idea to have a mix? It would save us some money (DJ is cheaper than the band) and I think people might have more fun?? Do you that's a good idea or is that too complicated?? I was thinking they could transition during cakecutting or just after cake cutting, but I don't know if this would be awkward or not? Also, if we get DJ then - should we just have it for 1 1/2 hours until 11:30pm or for 2 hours and go until midnight Please help FI is fine with either plan, which is nice but I need help deciding!

I'm getting married the same weekend as you - I feel like nothing is set up yet for our wedding... We don't have a band, our menus not set, the times aren't really even set (except in my head). We don't have suits picked out for my FI or his men. some people in our wedding party haven't booked yet.. our wedding planner just keeps telling me we have time, but I am stressed too and wish everything was booked/decided!! So, you're not alone!!! I'm freaking out too!!!

My FI is the same way about the shoes. I would be fine with the guys in flip flops but he is set on all of the men wearing real shoes.. Otherwise he is pretty laid back and will go along with whatever I want.. JHarwood2B - That donkey idea is great If that was an option at our resort, I guarantee you my FI would be making us have that..

Quote: Originally Posted by Jess can anyone help? I think my colors are going to be pale yellow, gray, and white which means FI and GM's attire will have to be gray. Any ideas for this? Everything I see is beige for destination weddings. We're also looking for gray suits - they had some in Men's Warehouse but we didn't love any of them. Several stores told us they'd get linen suits in the end of Feb, but no one seemed hopeful that they would have gray.. so we'll see.. Let me know if you have any better luck

I am doing OOT bags, etc, but I have been to 4 destination weddings in the past and I never even heard of this until this website.. so I really doubt your guests would be expecting any of this... For programs, I don't think you need them at all - especially if your group is small everyone knows everyone anyway. If you did want to do cheap programs, you can do them free on vistaprint (they have programs or rack cards free now) and just pay for postage..

It's really easy to do your own on vistaprint. Just choose upload your own photo and then if you click on advanced editing, you can add text boxes wherever you want. You can move them around, change font, color, etc. And I think you can get 25 free now..

I just got my order today too - they are huge... a lot bigger than I expected.. and some of mine are sort of bent in the package.. Do you think it's better to leave them in the packages they came in? I'd have to wrap ribbon once we're there but we get there 4 days before any of our guests so we'd have time..

For our wedding, everything has an additional 20% gratuity/service charge added onto it. Are we still supposed to tip on top of that?

For our wedding, everything has an additional 20% gratuity/service charge added onto it. Are we still supposed to tip on top of that?

I'm getting married at one of the resorts... but before the contest is over.. I got so excited I though maybe I could enter.. oh well..

My family has overall been okay with it, but some of FI's family has been complaining, which is driving us crazy - his cousin had a DW in Puerto Rico 1 1/2 years ago and the place they had it was an all-inclusive and cost over $500 per night. We complained to other people but didn't say anything to them b/c it was their wedding.. At the wedding, his cousin told me what a good plan this was b/c it cost them about $3000 total for the wedding (they had a simple wedding with only what was included in the package) - yeah b/c we were all paying so much and had to stay at their resort. Now for our wedding, we chose a resort that is about $250 per room/night, not all-inclusive and we are paying for 3 dinners for our guests - and of all people who complain it is that side of the family?!?!? Okay, sorry, I think I just had to vent...but I agree it is so frustrating.

I just got my order of tote bags from Amazon - the link is my post above - and I really like them.. They ended up costing about $2 per bag - they are a little thin but they look really good and seem strong. They have a plastic insert for the bottom (which is a little cheap-looking) but it gives the bag some shape so it'll look good filled with stuff. There is a small logo "CYMA" on the bottom and a recycling logo on the other bottom corner... And they came in 2 days!!!